I overheard this exchange while waiting in line at the pharmacy.

Pharm Tech: “Sir, we weren’t able to fill this as we don’t have your current insurance on file.”

Customer: “It’s Medicare. I have Medicare.”

Pharm Tech: “We need to see your insurance card to be able to fill this. We don’t have anything from you or them about this.”

Customer: “I don’t have a card. But I’m on Medicare. I should automatically be on it.”

Pharm Tech: “Sir, you need to contact them. If you don’t have a card or statement from them, we have no way of knowing anything about your policy and we cannot fill this without insurance.”

Customer: “But it’s automatic. I don’t need a card!”

He continued to complain as he walked away, saying he didn’t need any proof because it should be “automatic.”

Usually, my call centre is an amazing place to work. It’s near some beautiful natural surroundings, the architecture is very pretty, and my coworkers rock! Our callers are usually okay, too, but we sadly do get some nasty pieces of work occasionally. I’m nonbinary (which my company is really cool about) and I’ve politely asked the customer not to call me by a gendered honorific and politely explained that I do not wish to discuss my gender with strangers. The call has gone very smoothly until this:

Me: “Well, if there’s nothing else, I’d like to wish you a great day!”

Caller: “Yeah, I hope you have a horrible one.”

Me: *Small stunned pause* “Oh, dear! I’m sorry… May I ask what went wrong?”

Caller: “Yeah, you’re a f****** weirdo, dude! Get me your manager!”

The customer went on to rant for quite some time at my total teddy bear of a boss upon transfer. It turned out that he had just gotten out of a thirteen-hour workday, but that is no excuse for bigotry.

My company used to have an optional insurance benefit provided by a vendor where my company would pay the rather small premium on the insurance for you. For some reason, the timing of payments got out of whack with the bills for me. Some months would see no payments and would get a bill from the insurer which I would ignore because, yes, the next month would show the payment. Less frequently, the opposite would happen and my company would pay twice in a month so I would receive a statement of overpayment. Maybe it was because, at the time, my company ran payroll and things on an every-two-week cycle which didn’t match the monthly billing cycle.

Eventually, I canceled from the program but they showed I owed one last payment. I called them and the very helpful lady told me:

Lady: “Hmmm, it looks like there is still a balance of $[small amount] on your account. Let me check. Well, it looks like you can either pay that amount or choose not to.”

Me: “Really?”

Lady: “Yup!”

Me: “Well, hmmm, choices, choices. I choose to not pay!”

And we both had a good laugh about it.

I’m a provider phone representative for an insurance company. I take calls from providers’ offices verifying benefits and claim status for their patients. Usually, you’re talking to the people at the front desk, almost never the doctors, but today I get a call from an actual doctor. After I verify her tax ID:

Doctor: “I’d like to check benefits for a patient, [Patient].”

Me: “Sure! Could I have his member ID, please?”

Doctor: “It’s [ID].”

The patient doesn’t come up. I ask her to spell his name, and I try looking him up that way. No matter what I do, I can’t find him. This doctor is losing her mind.

Me: “Are you sure he’s with [Our Company]?”

Doctor: “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! YES, HE IS! HOW CAN YOU NOT BE ABLE TO FIND HIM?!”

Me: “Doctor [Last Name], I’ve tried everything, and he’s just not found. I don’t know what else to tell you other than speak to him.”

The doctor rants and raves for another minute, and then, abruptly:

Doctor: “Wait, is this [Other Health Insurance Company]?”

Me: “No, this is [Our Company].”

Doctor: “Oh. I called the wrong insurance.” *Click*

No apology for her mistake or her behavior. Bearing her tantrum and wonderful listening skills in mind — I had TOLD her what insurance company she had called — it was more than a little ironic that she was a psychologist. Doctor, heal thyself.

I’ve been working in this office for about seven months and have a pretty good handle on a lot of things. Because I’m the newest person in the office, I’m used to our insureds asking me to check with a more senior coworker after I give them an answer on something.

One of our insureds calls to tell us she was in an accident. 

Me: “Oh, no! Are you okay?”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, I’m just waiting for the police to get here. So… um… what should I tell them?”

Me: “The police? You should tell them what happened.”

Customer: “But if I do that, they’re going to say it was my fault! See, look, here’s what happened. I was at a red light and I looked— I looked three times and no one was there, so I went. And this guy appears out of nowhere and T-bones me. So, what do you think I should say?”

Me: “I think you need to tell the police what happened.”

Customer: “But they’ll say I’m at fault!”

Me: “Ma’am, I cannot advise you to lie to the police.”

Customer: “Can you double-check?!”

Me: “I… Okay…”

I put her on hold and turned to my coworker.

Me: “Hey, can we advise someone to lie to the police about an accident?”

Coworker: “What?! No! What are you—“

Me: “Yeah, I know, but she wanted me to check, so…”

I pick the call back up.

Me: “Ma’am? I checked, and yeah, we can’t advise you to lie to the police.”

She wasn’t happy about that, but on the plus side, she was never rude or mean about it!

Related:
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 15
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 14
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 13
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 12
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 11

This story is part of our Best Of April 2021 roundup!

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