Calling For Their Benefit, Not Yours

, , , | Working | September 11, 2015

(I work for a Seattle-based subsidiary of a multinational media company headquartered in New York. I have had some trouble with getting my insurance set up, so I emailed the benefits department the previous day. There is a three-hour time difference between Seattle and New York; at 7 am (an hour before I normally wake up), the phone rings.)

Me: *blearily* “Hello?”

Representative: “Hi, this is [Name] from the [Company] benefits office. I am just calling to let you know that the issue has been cleared up and you’ll be able to enroll on Friday.”

Me: “Okay, thanks…”

Representative: *rattles on for about five minutes repeating all of the stuff I already know, including how to enroll, what my coverage choices are, and who to contact if there are any problems*

Me: “Okay, thanks…”

Representative: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “…Um, no, thank you.”

Representative: “Okay, then, thank you for calling the benefits office of [Company]!”

Me: “Uh, you called me—”

Representative: *click*

(Then I got up and saw that I’d received an email with the exact same information, which I could have read at any time after I woke up.)

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Picture Perfect Response

| Right | September 4, 2015

(I am a claims adjuster in motor vehicle damage. I’m talking to a claimant who is trying to get me to pay for their damage without pictures to go with the estimate of the repairs.)

Claimant: “I don’t understand why you haven’t paid me yet. I sent you an estimate!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I also requested that you get pictures of the damage. I offered to send someone out to take pictures and write up the damage but you told me you’d take care of that yourself. I can’t pay anything out on this claim until I have images of the damage.”

Claimant: “Ohhhhh. So you’re gonna play that game.”

Me: “…The one where we require that you provide documentation of damages before we write you a check?”

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Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6

| Right | August 13, 2015

Caller: “I would like to get a better auto insurance rate.”

Me: “I’ll be glad to go over your policy for possible discounts.”

Caller: “No need. The discount that I want added is one that most people will not qualify for. I belong to an elite group of drivers that do not ever have accidents.”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we do not offer that discount.”

(Probably because that caller was the only one in that ‘elite’ group.)


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Driven By Assumptions

, | Working | July 27, 2015

(I’m 25 and have been working for several years. I’ve only just learned to drive and passed the test. I decide to go with a lease car suggested by my dad’s friend, since it actually works out cheaper as a long-term investment. I’m calling the car company’s insurance line.)

Me: “Hi, I’m calling to activate my seven-days free insurance for my new car?”

Agent: “Okay, I just need your personal details and the details of your car.”

(I give her them, including my date of birth and the manufacture year of the car.)

Agent: “Ooh, that’s a new model! Somebody’s being spoilt!”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Agent: “You’re getting [Car] as your first car? There’s no way a teenager could afford that. Mummy and daddy must love you! Lucky for some!”

Me: “Actually, I’m paying for this out of my own pocket. If you’ll notice my age, I’ve held off on learning to drive and buying a car until I could afford to pay for it all – and run it – myself.”

Agent: “Oh. Well… how was I supposed to know?”

Me: “Maybe in the future, don’t make assumptions about people!”

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Not Very Re-Insuring

| Right | July 23, 2015

Customer: “Why doesn’t my insurance work?”

Me: “You’re no longer with [Insurance Company #1]. Your employer moved you to company [Insurance Company #2], [Insurance Company #3], or [Insurance Company #4]. Have you received a welcome kit from any of those companies?”

Customer: “Yes, I chose to go with [Insurance Company #2].”

Me: “Your insurance is with [Insurance Company #2] now, then. You need to use that insurance.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!?”

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