I get a phone call from someone saying they handle insurance for my appliances.

Me: “Are you with [Mortgage Company]?”

Caller: “No, we’re not, but I have a good deal on appliance insurance. If any of your appliances go down, we’ll cover any replacements, no questions asked.”

Me: “Hmmm…”

Caller: “There’s a one-time setup fee of $300, and then it will be $150 a month.”

Me: “In the past twenty years here, I’ve had two appliances go out. The replacement totaled $1,600. So you want me to pay $1,800 a year for what again?”

Caller: “Very well!” *Dial tone*

I work in a housing insurance office. I can hear a customer screaming outside while a car starts up and begins driving away quickly. One of our techs, who usually visit properties to assess claims, walks back in.

Tech: “Perfect timing. I couldn’t handle another minute with that guy.”

Me: “What’s going on?”

Tech: “The customer didn’t like what I had to say.”

Me: “Can you give me the claim number so we can get this on file?”

Tech: “Oh, sure. I almost forgot. It’s [number].”

Me: “Okay, so this is a leak in the ceiling of the dining room?”

Tech: “No, not at all. Look, this claim is gonna be denied, and I told the customer, like an idiot, and now I got nothing to show for it.”

Me: “Let’s start from the beginning.”

Tech: “So, there ain’t no leak. The customer lied to you guys to get the claim opened. When I showed up, he laughed about it like he was some kind of genius. Guy’s got a plumbing issue all right, but not like that.”

Me: “I’m listening.”

Tech: “Firstly, this house is in shambles. There’s a straight-up huge hole in this guy’s bathroom floor.”

Me: “Is it in the basement? Is that a drainage hole or something?”

Tech: “Nah, second-story. Bathroom is mostly tile. I say ‘mostly’ because he took something like a hammer to the tiles in that spot to rip them out but then started cutting with a mechanical saw, I guess.”

Me: “Why in the world would he do that to his own bathroom?”

Tech: “He said he was hearing a noise beneath the tiles and wanted to fix it.”

Me: “Is he hearing things? This guy sounds pretty crazy already.”

Tech: “Well, he was half right. I didn’t hear anything at first, but then he said to run the shower and I’d hear it. So, I turned it on and, yeah, I heard it. Whoever installed those pipes needs to lose their plumbing certification, or maybe they never had one in the first place. I’m leaning towards the latter. Pretty much those pipes were just sitting there in the floor. They’re supposed to be clipped or have some kind of support to them every couple of yards, but instead, they’re just sitting there. When you turn on the shower, they start dancing, and I can assure you that is only half the problem.”

Me: “What’s the other half?”

Tech: “They are gonna snap, and then he will have a leak in the dining room, the kitchen, and pretty much the entire first floor since it will be flooded.”

Me: “Any idea how to fix this?”

Tech: “I could install some clips as a temporary fix, but that line will need to be brought up to code, and that’s no small task.”

Me: “Can you give me a quote?”

Tech: “I don’t want the job in the first place. You couldn’t pay me to go back to that house.”

Me: “It’s just for the claim. I’m denying it, but I need a number or something.”

Tech: “So, $500 labor, another $200 in parts, and probably $100 for a second guy, and then you’d need to patch the floor and retile the bathroom. I don’t know what that would cost but it would be pretty steep.”

Me: “That’s enough for me. I’ll kill the claim.”

Tech: “Do you want to know the worst part, though?”

Me: “Go ahead.”

Tech: “He handed me an envelope when I got there for the SCF. It’s literally got $20 bucks in there. He said he’d pay me the rest after the call. I don’t think he had any intention of paying, though, since it might have been his plan to chase me off in the first place.”

Me: “You can bill for $55 for today without an auth number if that gets you the rest of the SCF.”

Tech: “Oh, it does, actually. Thanks for looking out.”

Me: “I’m gonna notate the claim so that he can’t try lying to customer service or something about you. You did this one right, don’t worry.”

Tech: “Have a good one.”

Me: “You, too.”

I tasked Customer Service to call the customer and inform them that this was not a covered claim; the pipes were not properly installed, causing failures, not to mention that moving pipes around is not normal!

The internal notes read, “Customer lied about failure to get tech to house, customer attempting to force coverage to make up for shoddy plumbing in home, customer chased tech off property.”

I work in an insurance office. The owner had some serious medical issues and passed away. We notified clients via mail and email that he would not be available and was on medical leave about a year before he passed. His son started working as an agent at the agency two years before he passed.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Agency]. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Client: “Yeah, I need to speak to [Boss].”

Me: “I apologize, but [Boss] is currently on medical leave and is not available for calls. I can assist you.”

Client: “I’m a friend of his; he’ll want to speak to me.”

Me: “You are free to reach out to him personally, but he is not in the office at this time.”

Client: “All right, what’s his cell number?”

Me: “I am unable to give out his personal information at this time. I am happy to pass on a message, though.”

Client: “No, it’s okay. We go way back.”

Me: “Sir, I cannot give out his personal information. Is there a message I can pass on to him?”

Client: “I’m getting really sick of not being able to reach him. All I’ve gotten for the last several months is excuses. You need to tell him it’s very unprofessional for him not to talk to his clients.”

At this point, the clients have been notified via mail and email, and I have been told to refer people to look at the notice we sent. We are really trying not to say over and over in the office that [Boss] died because we all loved the guy and are mourning the loss, but this guy won’t let up.

Me: “Sir, as I said, he is not available.”

Client: “He needs to get available. I demand a call back!”

Me: “Sir, he passed away. He cannot call you back. I can help you with what you need, but he will not be calling.”

Client: “That is very unprofessional! I’m sick of excuses!”

Me: “Please hold.”

I go to the son’s office and let him know what is going on. He’s generally a very laid-back person but is very protective of his dad and touchy about anyone who tries to bad-mouth him.

Son: “Send him to me now.”

I went back to my desk and transferred the call, and for several minutes, I heard a lot of angry talking. The son then came out and told me to mark on the client’s file very clearly that he was not allowed back in the agency.

I work in insurance. A system error has caused a car policy not to show as active on the national database. We call the customer to explain about the error, apologise, and assure him he is covered and send him a cover note he can show to anyone to confirm his vehicle is insured. He’s not convinced that he is covered despite this and says he doesn’t feel comfortable driving the car until we’ve sorted the issue. The original agent says this is fine and we’ll offer compensation for any travel arrangements he has to make while we sort this. I should state that the customer’s policy was £300 roughly for the year. This happens when I call him back two days later to let him know the policy is now showing as active.

Customer: “Thanks for sorting that out. So, what will I get for compensation?”

Me: “Well, for the two days the policy wasn’t showing as insured, we can offer you £50 for travel and inconvenience.”

Customer: “That’s no good. I spent more than that because of your error.”

Me: “Okay, well, I can see about adding something more if we can receive proof of your travel expenses.”

Customer: “Not a problem. I’ll send you the proof of purchase for the other car and the insurance purchased.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say, ‘other car’?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s a [make and model]. I bought that for £6,000 and got a year’s insurance for £1,200. I’ll need compensation for both of those.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but your policy was only inactive for two days. We can’t justify that kind of cost.”

Customer: “Now, you listen here. I was promised that any travel arrangements would be compensated for. I had to buy a new car while you sorted the insurance for the other one and I had to get it insured, as well, to drive it.”

Me: “”Compensated for travel arrangements’ does not mean buying you a new car and insurance for a whole year. We assured you it would be fine to drive the original vehicle, and you had documents you could show anyone who challenged that. It was your decision not to believe us, and we offered compensation as a gesture of goodwill so you could travel for no cost to yourself. I’m sorry, but £50 is the most I can do for you.”

Customer: “I recorded the previous call, and no such restrictions were made on what ‘travel arrangements’ meant.”

Me: “This does not warrant over £7,000 in compensation. The original policy was only £300 total for the year.”

Customer: “I want to make a complaint. You’re denying me something I’m owed.” 

Me: “I’ll certainly log that for you, sir, but I’ll be honest: no one will authorise that amount of money for you.”

Customer: “Just shut up and log it.”

So I did, and it went further up the chain… to a far less sympathetic member of management. Not only did he not get compensated for the new car and its insurance, but he got nothing at all; the manager decided that since the customer tried to abuse the gesture of goodwill, he was now entitled to nothing.

I work in a dealership. The person who gives out loaner cars is in the same office as I am, so I hear everything.

Coworker: “Okay, I just need a debit or credit card, proof of insurance, and your driver’s license.”

The customer gives her everything.

Coworker: “Oh, this insurance is expired. Do you have any recent insurance?”

Customer: “That’s what I keep in my car.”

Coworker: “Okay, but I need recent, non-expired insurance to put into my system.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. It’s the same information.”

Coworker: “Sir, this expired three years ago.”

Customer: “So?”

Coworker: “I can’t give you a loaner car without updated insurance. If you call your insurance company, they can send you a copy of it.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! I don’t need to do that! I drive a Corvette! My insurance isn’t expired!”

Coworker: “I need proof it’s not expired.”

Customer: “I don’t have that! What do you expect me to do, take the f****** bus? Get me your manager.”

My coworker went into the service section and talked to the service manager, who backed her up. There was a bit more yelling from the customer before he left, but I couldn’t make it out because of an echo and a wall of plexiglass. Guess who didn’t get a loaner?