I worked for a medical insurance company at their call center.

Caller: “I need an increase in my meds. I’m in such pain.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have an updated prescription from your doctor?”

Caller: “No, I’m in too much pain to go. I’ve taken more than was prescribed, so I need more.” 

I get calls like this a lot.

Me: “Well, since you’re in such pain and taking more than directed, I’ll be happy to call the doctor for you to get this straightened out.”

The key is to act very innocent and be quite ready make that call. They shut down very quickly. It’s the only way to get them off the phone. I went from an average of forty-minute calls with drug seekers to two minutes.

I used to work at a call center for a medical insurance company. I got out of there ASAP, as it was a Hellish place to work, but I did get one call that I found memorable:

Caller: “What’s this on the bill? Ambiance? I didn’t pay extra for no ambiance!”

Me: “Are you sure it doesn’t say ambulance?”

Pause.

Caller: “Well, it’s still too expensive!”

Me: “Sir, I note that your insurance coverage with us also offers a free eye exam…”

I’m selling a large 1300cc motorbike. A keen buyer has arranged to come and have a look at it, so I’m wheeling it out of my garage for her.

Buyer: “Oh, it’s gorgeous. I’ve been riding big bikes for years. Can I take it out for a test ride?”

Me: “Can I see your insurance?”

Buyer: “I don’t have any yet.”

Me: “Well… then no. It’s an expensive machine. But I can take you as a passenger, show you how it runs.”

Buyer: “I know what I’m doing. I won’t damage it, not on a short ride, just to the end of the street and back.”

I hesitate, but she perseveres, and her enthusiasm gets the better of me. So, against my better judgement, I hand her the keys. She climbs on, fires it up, moves forward—and immediately drops it. Hard.

The metal scrapes, some paint chips, and my stomach sinks.

Me: “…Right. That’s exactly what I was worried about.”

Buyer: *Flustered.* “Sorry! Sorry! I’ll buy it. Don’t worry, I’ll buy it.”

Inside, we sit down while she pulls out her phone to sort insurance, at my insistence. Despite the damage she’s caused, I still want to make sure she know what she’s doing.

Me: “So you have riding experience with big bikes like this?”

Buyer: “I’ve been riding for years!”

Me: “Big bikes?”

Buyer: *Avoiding eye contact.* “Well… 125s. Back home.”

Me: “Back home?”

Buyer: “In [Different Country]. I’ve only just got my licence here. I rode my friend’s 600 a few times!”

Me: “You do realise this is a 1300? Ten times bigger than what you’re used to?”

Insurance quotes flash up on her screen, and due to her lack of riding history, each one is more astronomical than the last. Eventually, by some miracle, she gets it insured. She leaves, texting later that she’s “so happy with the bike.”

Two days pass. My phone pings again.

Buyer: “I want to return it. It’s too big for me. You should have told me it wasn’t the right bike.”

Me: *Remembering the chipped paintwork.* “You dropped it before you even rode it. You insisted you’d been riding big bikes for years. No refund.”

Buyer: “But it’s too big! I’ve almost crashed twice!”

Me: “It’s a good thing you have insurance, then! Good luck!”

I ignore her after that, and she reports me to the online selling page I used to sell the bike. Since the page doesn’t get involved in user disputes (it’s social media, not eBay), nothing comes of it, but I’ve stopped using that page to sell anything else because of experiences like this.

I work in an insurance call center handling complex technical calls, escalations, and some cursory underwriting calls. Most of what I get are ho-hum technical calls from reps requesting my sage advice about how to handle a quote/policy question.

I also handle escalations about billing and underwriting, which are usually a variation of “How dare you tell me that you won’t insure ME for free!”

Because I work a swing shift that borders on overnights, I deal with more than just your garden variety of crazy. Most of my callers are people with enough dedication to call an insurance company at 2 AM to throw an adult temper tantrum. While we can’t see the kicking on the floor, we still hear some of the screaming and the crying.

Anyone who’s ever had the joy of hearing my mellifluous voice knows I’m pretty hard to shake. I might not do as great of a job hiding my annoyance with some callers, but it’s almost always pretty subtle. The charmer described below might be the closest thing I’ve had to an exception in my three years of handling escalations.

The call from the rep starts with her saying the following:

Rep: “You’re so chipper. Now I hate that I got you for this call, because the guy on the other line is a real winner. He wants to speak with a supervisor, and every other word out of his mouth has been f***. He won’t let me verify him.”

She’s on the verge of crying, so I feel bad for her, because she’s new and still a sweet summer child when it comes to some of the turd-flavored Fruit Loops in the world.

Well, if nothing else, maybe I’ll hear a creative use of f*** in a sentence. Again, I’ve heard the word before and occasionally use it.

Me: “Send him on through.”

The caller, after having explosive diarrhea of the mouth while I verify his information:

Caller: “I want to f****** cancel this f****** policy! You f***ers took my f****** money without my f****** permission!”

Me: “Well, Mr. [Caller’s Name], I see that the payment request was submitted today. We can cancel the policy, but it’ll take a few days for the payment to get back to your account.”

Caller: “That’s fine. I just want to f****** cancel because your f****** company decided to f*** me over.”

Me: “Okay, I do need to ask you a few questions to get this cancelled out.”

Caller: “No, I’m done answering f****** questions. I just want the f****** policy cancelled.”

Me: “Be that as it may, I still need to know when you want this cancellation to occur.”

Caller: “When you f****** requested the f****** money out of my f****** account.”

Me: “Okay, so what date do you want that to be?”

Caller: “What do you f****** think?”

Me: “Sir, this is why I’m asking the question; this is your policy.”

Caller: “Fine, f****** today, then.”

Me: “Okay, and if we have to mail any information via USPS, what mailing address should we have on file?”

Caller: “I don’t f****** have to f****** tell you that.”

I explain to him why it might be in his best interest to tell us where we need to mail stuff to, just in case. He goes ballistic about that, of course. It’s literally a back-and-forth for ten minutes. 

First, he spits out a random address that doesn’t match. I tell him no, that’s not what we have, and offer to update. He won’t budge. Dude is like a rock in the middle of the ocean, while I’m the wave hoping to erode some sense into him. Plus, I’m judging him for his lack of creativity. Nothing for my driving repertoire has been thrown out there, so disappointment abounds.

Caller: “I can f****** do this all f****** day and ruin your f****** Sunday.”

Me: “Yeah, we could’ve been done with this call ten minutes ago if you’d just confirm your mailing address. I still get paid whether or not you provide this information, Sir. It’s just that we cannot cancel the policy without confirmation that we have the right mailing address, which means you still have the policy with us. What do you want to do here?”

He provides the address on file (finally). I read him the cancellation script for today’s date. When I tell him the amount that he’s getting back, he goes ape-s*** because it’s a lesser amount.

Caller: “I never f****** wanted this f****** policy because the f****** premium is too f****** high!”

Me: *Seizing the opportunity.* “So you never wanted this policy at all? You never wanted to get it started effectively [past date]?”

Caller: “F****** cancel the f****** policy as of [past date]!”

Me: “Okay, we can flat cancel this policy as of [past date]. It’ll be like you’ve never had insurance with us on this policy. Any lienholder will be notified of the cancellation date. Your lapse will be almost one month long, so you may incur fines, suspension of registration, and/or suspension of your license.”

Caller: “I don’t know what f****** state you’re in, but no one will f****** do that to me.”

Me: “Almost every state would have a problem with a vehicle being registered without liability insurance. Anything else I can do for you?”

He utters his first sentence without the word “f***” in it and gets off my line.

I type up my escalation notes. Because I got off relatively easy compared to prior representatives, including one person who’s one of my superiors, I dug a little bit into this guy’s policy history out of curiosity.

He has been verbally abusive to every single person who’s ever had the pleasure of speaking with him. He’s threatened at least two people in two separate departments with physical violence. He’s obviously lying about where the vehicle is kept, and I’ve found recent quotes to prove it. Had he been foisted onto underwriting for any reason, he probably would’ve made that three people. I’ve never been so gleeful in submitting a request to permaban someone in my life.

One of our clients bought a new house. Rather than sell the old one, he did some work and started renting it as three units. Ergo, I had to write a Homeowner’s Policy for the new house and a Dwelling Fire for the old house. I wrote both of them, listing our client as the lone policyholder of both properties. He signed off on them and assured me all I had to do was make sure nothing got pushed back.

The day before the closing:

Client: “Hi, [My Name]. I had my lawyer double-check the policies. You forgot to put my wife’s name on them.”

Me: “‘Your wife’?”

Client: “Yeah, I got married last year. Didn’t I tell you?”

This is the first I have heard of a wife. As soon as he said it, I pulled up his Automobile Policy and searched our notes. He is the only policyholder and the only driver listed. Our notes make no mention of a wife, either.

Me: “No, no one here heard that. We don’t even know her name.”

Client: “Oh, it’s [Wife].

Me: “[Wife]. Okay. So, she owns the new house, too? And I assume she’s been living with you.”

Client: “Yep. I even put her name on the old house after we were married.”

That is a huge problem. Any resident of an automobile policy holder’s home with a valid driver’s license must be listed as an operator or the company will deny coverage if the unlisted operator was the operator during an accident. Reasonable insurance companies are known to only wag a finger if policy holders do not list someone who has their own insurance, but a quick search of the state’s records confirms the wife has a valid driver’s license, but does not have a car of her own, thus does not have her own insurance. The only good news is that she has not had any accidents in the last six years.

Me: “That is something you should have told us right away. Changing the Dwelling Policies is nothing; a new Binder will cover you until the policy updates. The problem is your car. If she drives it and gets in an accident, there’s no coverage.”

Client: “What!?”

Me: “Listen, it’s okay. I’m going to email a form for you to sign. Once I send you confirmation that I got it back, it’s bound, and she will be covered. Until then, just don’t let her drive.”

Client: “Okay, thanks! Focus on the property for now, though. This is more important.”

Before I even touch the properties, I make a permanent note in our system to outline everything I just learned and what needs to be done.

Once I finish off the properties, I go to address the car. Before I get to the operator’s page, I catch the coverages.

This car is insured to the bare minimum.

These coverages are great for drivers with lots of points, a barely driven car, and no assets besides the car, but a serious liability for anyone who owns their own home or other properties.

For additional context: when someone comes to us looking for insurance, we are legally required to OFFER higher limits than this. (I stress “offer” because this minimum legal offer is not the minimum legal limits; we are legally compelled to OFFER no less than $35,000 per person up to $80,000 total of Personal Injury, but the COVERAGE can go as low as $20,000/$40,000 IF the client explicitly requests we go lower than $35,000/$80,000.)  

Furthermore, since he was driving more than 10,000 miles annually, these low limits were perceived as irresponsible and actually RAISED his premium.

After I run the quote with just his wife added, I go back and requote it with coverages that will actually protect them (you know, Collision, Comprehensive, Property Damage above the minimum that was set when a brand new car cost $5,000, etc.).

Overall, since neither had an at-fault accident or violation in the last six years, it is a single-vehicle policy, they are moving to a better area, I wrote the new policies with the insurance company that was already writing the car and qualified them for a bundle (I do not know why this was not the case initially; it was before my time), and they had responsible limits for a regularly used vehicle, the premium would be only about $250 more annually.

I include both quotes and a second form with my email explaining all of this, noting I absolutely need the driver form back, and the other form is consent to let me change the coverages to match the values in the new quote. 

Only the form to add his wife was returned with the message:

Client: “The coverages are just fine as is. Only add [Wife].”

I make the single change and make careful notes outlining the entire interaction. 

About two months later, the wife rear-ended a car she was following too closely. Guess who was furious that he had to pay out of pocket for most of the other car, the lion’s share of the medical bills, and the entirety of his own car? His lawyer hung his head in shame when my notes and emails ended any chance of a lawsuit against the agency and me.

Related:
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 24
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 23
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 22
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 21
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 20