I used to work in a call center for a UK car insurance provider which was also a supermarket. One day, I received the best call ever.

Me: “Hi, you’re through to [My Name] at [Company]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, [My Name]. I need to remove a driver from both cars.”

Me: “No problem.”

I go through account security and explain the increases to her premiums.

Caller: “Oh, that’s all fine and dandy.”

Me: “Okay, who are we taking off of these policies?”

Caller: “I want to remove Alistair, my husband. Given that I’ve just gotten home from work and he’s in bed with another woman, I think he can go spin. He pissed off in my Audi, and I’ll be calling the police as soon as he’s uninsured.”

Sh*****t.

Me: “Okay. Removing your husband will definitely put your premiums up, and if he is stopped, you’ll need to pay to get the Audi out of the impound.”

Caller: “Oooh, it’ll be worth it, [My Name]. That saggy sack of s*** will rue the day he messed with me.”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t think he’s made a smart choice here. Anyway, your new payments will be [double her previous payment] per month.”

Caller: “S***. So, he’s still costing me.”

Me: “Yeah, having a spouse or partner will normally lower the cost. So, let us know straight away if someone moves in.”

She proceeds to add her best friend as a cohabiting partner.

Me: “I’ll waive your admin fees, too, and your new premiums are [10% lower than the original price].”

Caller: “Brilliant! Thanks, [My Name]!”

She went on to leave me a five-star review and write a letter to the head of our department about the great service.

Also, her (ex) husband got pulled over, and the police called us to ask if he was insured.

Godspeed, Angry Lady.

Caller: “Hi. I may need to have surgery later this year. I need to know how much short-term disability I will get.”

My department is for existing claims only; we can only provide general information on calls like this.

Me: “May I have your employer’s name so I can see what the policy is?”

The caller provides her employer’s name, but I can’t find them in our system.

Me: “I apologize; I am unable to locate them in my system. I have limited access. It’s possible that when you are ready to make a claim, our intake department can find that information out, and they will be able to further assist you.”

Caller: “I need to know how much I will get.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have access to that employer and their policy. If I had access, I could give you an estimate based on your earnings. It’s usually a percentage, but without that policy, I am unable to assist.”

Caller: “Well, I make $3,000 a month, so what is the percentage I would get?”

I tell her again that without the employer’s policy, I do not know. I advise her that when she calls in to make a claim, the intake department will be able to tell her.

Caller: “Fine. Just one more thing: if I am unable to work ever again and I need to draw disability, how much will I get?”

Me: “Are you referring to Social Security Disability?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “You will need to contact SSA for that. They have a website you can register on, and it should give you that information. Or you can always call them.”

Caller: “Okay, so how much will it be, then?”

Me: “We are not affiliated with SSA; they are a separate entity from our company. We don’t have access to your records with them.”

Caller: “Wow, you don’t know anything!” *Click*

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Retirement Services]. This is [My Name]. Who am I speaking with?”

Caller: “Hi, [My Name]. This is [Caller] from [Healthcare Company]. I have your client, [Client], on the line. She needs a verification statement for her benefits.”

Me: “I can help her with that, but she needs to verify her identity. Is she on the line with you?”

Caller: “Yes, sir, I can bring her on.”

After [Client] gets verified:

Client: “I’ll be honest with you: I’ve been on transfer after transfer all morning just with my benefits. Who am I speaking with?”

Me: “This is [My Name] from your retirement company, ma’am.”

Client: “Why am I speaking with you today?”

Me: “Honestly, I believe it might be because you might need a verification of income for insurance purposes. This happens all the time.”

Client: “Well, I’m confused about how I ended up here because I still don’t understand why I’m talking to you. What you said makes no sense.”

Me: “Good point. [Caller], are you on the line to explain this?”

Pure silence.

Me: “And now I’m just as confused as you are.”

Client: “Well, I’m going to hang up now. This has been a useless conversation.”

Me: “That’s all right. I am not going to take that personally. Have a great weekend.”

Me: “Thank you for calling [Brand] Insurance, how can I help you?”

Agent: “I doubt you can. Frankly, I don’t know why I waste time calling you people or writing business with you with all these problems you’ve been having, you people are incompetent, and I’m just done with you.”

Me: “Cool!” *Click.*

I recently read this story. At least in the state I live in, before you can buy a car, the dealer does require assurance from an insurance company that they will offer a policy to cover the vehicle. Usually, an assurance from a representative over the phone is enough. A few months ago, though, my dad discovered why requiring it in writing can be so useful!

A couple of years ago, he bought a smaller car to get his payments down, and the dealer did it on the verbal say-so of an insurance representative that they would cover the new vehicle.

Dad kept paying for the policy and even renewed the policy in the meantime. He got into an accident just after Christmas… just to find out that the agency still had his old car on record, not the new one.

For over a week, they tried to claim they wouldn’t cover it. Eventually, they came to realize they would, after my dad threatened to tell the state’s insurance commission and every news agency he could contact.

If the dealer had gotten it in writing that the insurance company agreed to cover that particular vehicle, it would have made the fight so much easier to get them to fix their own mistake.

Related:
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 11
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 10
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 9
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 8
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 7