Unfiltered Story #155420

, , , | Unfiltered | June 24, 2019

(A customer calls up about their business insurance policy. The office I work in usually routes their business through brokers or agents, but it is far from uncommon to hear directly from customers. I’m running through the charges, then we get to the tax at the end. The customer is following along so far, but then asks me to re-calculate the taxes again and again.)

Me: “Okay, so the policy comes to a total of $5,000,” *making up a number for the sake of the story* “With the GST added, that comes to $5,500. Now we add the state Stamp Duty of 1.5%. This brings the total to $5,582.50. Now the Fire Services Levy…”

Customer: “Wait, you’re adding the stamp duty to the price after adding GST?”

Me: “…yes, sir”

Customer: “But you’re ripping me off. Is that how your company works”

Me: “That is how taxes work, sir.”

(After a back and forth for several minutes, the customer hangs up, saying he’s going to talk to his local member. I was sorely tempted to send him a link to the Australian Tax Office, but let him dig his own grave.)

As If The Fraudsters Were Born Yesterday

, , , | Legal | July 8, 2018

(I work at a rather successful insurance company. A gaudy, middle-aged woman walks in. We go through all the information needed smoothly until…)

Me: “Okay, that just about does it. I just need you to answer one more question.”

Client: “Okay.”

Me: “What date were you born?”

Client: “October 7, 1973.”

Me: “Okay.” *murmuring as I write it down* “October 7, 1973.”

Client: “Oh, I think you must have misheard me. I said January 19, 1969.”

Me: “Oh, my mistake.”

(We go through everything again to make sure I didn’t make any mistakes. Lo and behold, when we get to the birth date, more trouble arises.)

Me: “And your birth date is January 19, 1969. Is that correct?”

Client: *getting aggravated* “You need to listen more carefully! I said May 23, 1972!”

Me: *getting suspicious* “Hey, [Coworker], can you come over here real quick?”

Coworker: “Uh, yeah, sure.”

Me: “And Miss [Client], what did you say your birthday was?”

Client: “September 1, 1965!”

Me: “Uh-huh, and [Coworker], what did I put down last?”

Coworker: “May 23, 1972.”

Client: “I never said that! He must have misheard me!”

Me: “[Coworker], do you think I misheard her? I mean, May 23, 1972 does sound a lot like September 1, 1965.”

Coworker: *catching on* “Yeah, you’re absolutely right, [My Name]. I’ll just go get security down here and see if they think the same thing.”

(Upon hearing this, the lady turned bright red, and turned around to run. She tripped and fell, along with her purse, to the ground. The purse burst open to reveal 20+ credit cards. She got up to run, but found herself face to face with a security guard. Turned out she was an identity thief, and was simply trying to remember the birth date of the person she was impersonating.)

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