Some Customers Should Come With An Early Warning System

| CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(We open at 8:30 am and I am usually here about 8:20 to open the office. This morning, I got here about 8:10 am to finish up a few last minute things I didn’t get to do last night before closing. Our office hours are posted VERY large on the door. There is a car already parked in the lot when I get to the office. As I’m walking up to the door to unlock it, a lady I’ve never seen before leans out her window and screams:)

Lady: “You’re late!”

Me: *laughing* “Actually, I’m 20 minutes early! But I can help you just as soon as I get the lights on.”

Lady: “That’s bull****! You’re just covering for yourself! I need to pay my bill RIGHT NOW! How dare you be so late?”

Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, we don’t open until 8:30. It’s barely after 8 right now. I am willing to let you in early and take your payment.”

(She follows me in and sits at my desk. I walk around the office and turn on the lights, which takes all of three seconds.)

Lady: “HURRY UP! This bill needs to be paid NOW!”

(I pull up her information on the computer.)

Me: “Ma’am, you do know that this bill isn’t due until July 30th, right? If we take the payment now, there’s a chance the system may issue you a refund. Are you sure you want to pay it this early?”

Lady: “July 30th? H*** no, I’m not paying it early! Thanks for wasting my time!”

(She stormed out of the office, leaving me to wonder if she should really be driving…)

Picture Perfect Response

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I am a claims adjuster in motor vehicle damage. I’m talking to a claimant who is trying to get me to pay for their damage without pictures to go with the estimate of the repairs.)

Claimant: “I don’t understand why you haven’t paid me yet. I sent you an estimate!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I also requested that you get pictures of the damage. I offered to send someone out to take pictures and write up the damage but you told me you’d take care of that yourself. I can’t pay anything out on this claim until I have images of the damage.”

Claimant: “Ohhhhh. So you’re gonna play that game.”

Me: “…The one where we require that you provide documentation of damages before we write you a check?”

Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 6

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Caller: “I would like to get a better auto insurance rate.”

Me: “I’ll be glad to go over your policy for possible discounts.”

Caller: “No need. The discount that I want added is one that most people will not qualify for. I belong to an elite group of drivers that do not ever have accidents.”

Me: “Unfortunately, sir, we do not offer that discount.”

(Probably because that caller was the only one in that ‘elite’ group.)

Related:
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 5
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 4
Pre(Car)ious Insurance, Part 3

Not Very Re-Insuring

| USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “Why doesn’t my insurance work?”

Me: “You’re no longer with [Insurance Company #1]. Your employer moved you to company [Insurance Company #2], [Insurance Company #3], or [Insurance Company #4]. Have you received a welcome kit from any of those companies?”

Customer: “Yes, I chose to go with [Insurance Company #2].”

Me: “Your insurance is with [Insurance Company #2] now, then. You need to use that insurance.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!?”

Will Need To Waive The Wave Excuse

| Spokane, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Rude & Risque

(I am a security officer at a medical insurance facility. The street we are located on isn’t exactly reputable, and we get a lot of trouble from ‘ladies of the evening’ attempting to solicit our clients or even our associates. While on patrol, I notice one of our repeat offenders very blatantly trying to flag down traffic.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re not here as a client, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Lady: “No, it’s fine; I’m not even doing anything.” *continues to wave*

Me: “Ma’am, this is a private campus. You can’t—”

Lady: “No, really, it’s fine.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t leave, I’ll have to call the police on you for trespassing—”

Lady: *now getting rather heated* “I’m not doing anything wrong!”

Me: “Then what are you doing here, trying to wave down traffic?”

Lady: *without hesitation* “I’m not waving down traffic. I’m waving at the wind!”

(There is a long pause as the woman apparently processed how stupid this sounded. She then smiled, and quickly walked away. To this day I’m still not sure this was spur of the moment, or worse, a rehearsed excuse.)

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