A Peaceful Resolution Is Music To Our Ears

, , , , , , | Working | September 14, 2020

I’m working as a server for a caterer. We’re at a wedding that he’s catering and the band is playing painfully loudly. At one point during the reception, the caterer notices the father of the bride looking upset and goes over to check what the problem is.

Caterer: “Is something wrong, Mr. [Father]?”

Father: “Yes, I told the band when I booked them that I didn’t want loud music. I just asked them to turn the volume down and they refused. They won’t even listen to me.”

The caterer walks over to the band and unplugs the loudspeakers. The members of the band start to get verbally belligerent with him, but the caterer merely points to the father of the bride and starts to speak.

Caterer: “You see that man over there? He’s the one paying for your services tonight. If you want him to sign your cheque, then I suggest you do as he asks and turn the volume down.”

Point made. The band backed down, and the volume of the music was lowered, to the relief of the guests and workers alike.

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In My Day We Did Inventory, By Hand, Backward, In The Snow!

, , , | Right | September 14, 2020

I work at a small hardware store. We have both a cashier and a PC for shipping and registering. Usually, the clients are fine with that, but some are not because of the store location. I am also a student so I am working until this customer comes by.

Customer #1: “Hello.”

Me: “Hello, sir. May I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, can you give me some size [number] bolts and screws?”

Me: “Sure.”

I go look for what he was asking.

Customer #1: “Heh, why did it take you so long?”

Me: “I was looking for the size you asked me, sir.”

Customer #1: “No, it was because you are so accustomed to your PC and…”

He goes off, telling me about how PCs are bad for today’s youth and how, in the old times, they used to do stuff without them, until another customer enters.

Customer #1: “…and this is why…”

Customer #2: “Well, sir, are you going to buy or complain about today’s youth?”

Customer #1: “Buy stuff.”

Customer #2: “Well, in that case, sir, please pay whatever you have to pay and stop complaining because, in case you don’t know, the young man could have other priorities like studying or working on the store’s inventory.”

Customer #1: “Right.”

The customer paid and went away. I attended the other customer but I gave him what he asked for free, as he was right; I had to study and finish the store inventory.

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When In Doubt, Show Them The Truth

, , , , | Right | September 13, 2020

I work as a video editor at my university. We basically help people to make their videos whether they are for learning purposes or to show what different courses you can take.

A guy from the university’s library filmed a tutorial with us. I was tasked to cut the video and do whatever it would take to make it suitable for the website. It took me about thirty hours of work — usually, it only takes about nine — because in every sentence, he either stuttered so hard that you could barely understand anything or every second word was an “um” or “ah.”

When I finally finished, he wrote an email to tell us that it was outrageous that he was only visible on screen for about a minute out of the six-minute video. We tried to explain that it was not possible to cut out all his talking mistakes and show him on screen the whole time but he didn’t believe us. He wrote something like, “I am the best speaker, and if there is a problem, it is your fault, not mine.”

We showed him a video where all his mistakes were not cut out. He never answered. He just accepted the first video in silence and has never been seen again.

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A Fantasy Epic For The Ages

, , , , , | Right | September 10, 2020

I used to work for a customer support line for a large fantasy MMORPG (Massively-Multiplayer-Online Role-Playing Game). To date, this one call I received is the craziest, most epic, most unbelievable-but-true customer experience I have ever received.

A man calls in saying he is having “connectivity issues.” I check his account and his character name already indicates he is going to be a character. It is something like LaDyKiLlEr69, with the studly caps and innuendos included.

Caller: “Yeah, so, I can’t find anyone.”

Me: “So you can’t see other people on the server?”

Caller: “No, I can see other players, but I can’t find my friends. Fix it.”

His tone is blunt and demanding but nothing I can’t handle. I check a few more things and see nothing wrong with his connection, and our service is running fine.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t find anything that could be causing your issue. Have you tried resetting the—”

The caller interrupts with a laborious sigh.

Caller: “Listen, dear.”

He does not call me “dear” with endearment.

Me: “Maybe one of your man-agers can handle me from now on. Go fetch one.”

He emphasizes the “man” part of “manager.”

Me: “Sir, I… I am going to login to the game as an admin right now. That way I will see you and your avatar in-game and might better be able to assess the situation.” 

Caller: “Be quick. My friends were talking about doing a raid today and I always carry them through. They can’t win without me.”

I log in and “see” his avatar for the first time. If you’re picturing a frat-boy douchebag named Chad or Brock, well… then you know what he intentionally made his in-game avatar look like. It’s a fantasy world where you can be multiple creatures and genders, with impossible hair and clothing, and he chose to be Chad. 

Not one to dwell too much on preference, I start trying to diagnose his issue. Suddenly, he’s screaming on the phone.

Caller: “There he is! You fixed it! Hey! Come back, f***er!”

Me: “Sir, I—” 

Caller: “I said come back, you r****d!”

I realize he is not talking to me, but to another player’s avatar. I see Chad69 chase down this other player through a part of the game. My omniscient admin-avatar feels compelled to follow.

Caller: “Hey! Why aren’t you talking to me?!”

Sir: “Sir, are you talking to me?”

Caller: “Yes, you idiot! I can see my friends but they can’t see or hear me! What did you do to me?! Did you make me invisible, you b****?!”

Sir: “Sir, that is not within my power. I think the problem may be—”

Caller: “They’re going into the raid! Oh, f***, they’re all gonna die without me! I have to follow!”

I suspect I finally know what might be happening here. I identify the player that my caller is talking about and check their logs. When players sign up to the game they sign a terms and conditions document that says admins have access to their in-game party chats, so I am allowed to do this.

This other player has been having a conversation with their party in a party-chat. I am a fast reader so I review.

Other Player #1: “Oh, crap. He found me.”

Other Player #2: “I told you we should have all migrated to a different server; he was bound to bump into us.”

Other Player #1: “What do I do? I can’t just keep ignoring him.”

Other Player #3: “Why not? He’ll get the hint soon enough. I know he’s slow but we’ve made it pretty obvious we don’t want him around anymore.”

Other Player #1: “Yeah, but he’s literally chasing me.”

Other Player #2: “Teleport out when you get out of the city.”

I am about to go back to the call to let this guy (who is still shouting at his ex-friends, ignoring me on the phone) know that when it comes to the game, it’s not us, it’s him, but then something is said later in this group chat that catches my attention.

Other Player #3: “That f*** took all my loot in [Raid] and said it was because he carried us through it. Deluded idiot kept getting his a** killed every minute and blaming me for not healing him fast enough! He did not know how to apply buffs to himself; he just runs in and charges!”

Other Player #2: “Well, how about we take him with us this time?”

Other Player #3: “No way in h***.”

Other Player #2: “Listen, let’s bring him along and…”

They start concocting a plan for revenge. The following things happen in quick succession: I end the call with The Chad, explaining that I have helped him find his friends. He grunts and hangs up with all the gratitude of a cat in a bathtub. I then take a quick break and remain logged in, munching the virtual popcorn, knowing what is about to happen. 

The other players welcome The Chad back into their fold and endure his condescending, often misogynistic and racist comments for a while. I witness them start their raid, which involves infiltrating an old castle and defeating some dragons.

True to their earlier description, The Chad is a TERRIBLE player. He plays an attacking type but has zero sense of strategy or defense. He keeps barking demeaning orders to his teammates to heal him and keep him alive while he just hacks and slashes.

The other three players just stand there… doing nothing.

He dies, quickly.

None of them heal him. The three then dispatch the dragon easily and quickly, because they know how to work as a team, even with a man down. Then they approach the fallen body of The Chad, who is hurling insults at them about not healing him and how they failed him.

Then all three characters start dancing; there are many fun downloadable animations in the game. All three start dancing over the fallen Chad, then squatting over his face, then dancing a little more.

They then all simply quit the raid and unfriend him again, leaving him dead on the floor. He eventually signs himself out, surprisingly silent. 

On my last day in that job, I quickly logged into his account to see any updates, only to realize he hadn’t logged in again since that day. I guess even in a fantasy land, you can’t be a racist, misogynistic jerk!


Share your experience today!

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Hypocrisy, Thy Name Is Dad

, , , , , | Related | September 10, 2020

My father retired from his job several years ago but still does odd jobs on the side for friends and friends-of-friends. Every couple of weeks or so, he cleans the parking lot at a deli in the next town over. One summer, he’s been having some shoulder pain and asks me to come along and help him to lighten the load. As we are driving, he tosses an empty cigarette pack out the window.

Me: “Dad, you shouldn’t litter.”

Dad: “Don’t worry about it. I’m keepin’ the guys who clean up the streets in business, right?”

After we’ve arrived and started cleaning the parking lot, he grumbles about there being more trash than usual and how the people are too lazy to throw their stuff away in the nearby garbage can.

Me: “Well, they’re keeping you in business, right?”

He just rolled his eyes at me. Unfortunately, he’s still something of a litterbug and refuses to see the flaw in his logic. Sorry, Mother Nature!

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