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Periodic Bathroom Breaks

, , , , , , | Working | July 21, 2015

(I am the only female shift lead in the art department of a coupon magazine. My supervisor comes to me with a request:)

Supervisor: “Can you go ask [Female Coworker] why she is making a lot of trips to the restroom?”

Me: “No.”

(I guessed at the reason why, but I wasn’t going to say it.)

Supervisor: “You have to; you are the lead. I need to make sure she’s not on drugs.”

(I just stare at him. Not wanting to get into an argument with him about the legality of the question and his reasons, I go find my coworker. I explained to her what he asked. Luckily she has a pretty good sense of humor.)

Me: “So, you want me to be obnoxious in my answer?”

Coworker: “Go for it.”

(At my desk, from across the room from my supervisor’s desk, I yell out:)

Me: “Hey, [Supervisor]! [Female Coworker] is on the rag, hence the numerous restroom trips!”

(He never asked me to do that again…)

Forgot What Day It Was

, , , , , | Right | June 8, 2015

(I’m at a mall with my friends. It’s Memorial Day and the mall is open for Memorial Day sales. We are waiting in line at a store, right behind a fifty-something woman, when this happens.)

Customer: “You shouldn’t be working today! You should be at home, remembering the fallen!”

Cashier: “I didn’t choose to be here. This is my job.”

Customer: *getting angry* “I don’t care! This is an outrage!. You are disrespecting the troops!”

Cashier: “Well, if I wasn’t working here today, you wouldn’t be able to buy this stuff, so I wouldn’t talk like that.”

Customer: *stammering* “But you still aren’t—”

Cashier: “Ma’am, my dad died in combat. I would rather be at home, remembering him, than here, dealing with ungrateful customers like you. You are the reason why I’m here today. So don’t tell me I’m being disrespectful.”

(The woman shut up, paid for her items, and left.)


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Banked That Day Off

, , , , , | Right | April 7, 2015

(It’s the week of Thanksgiving. I am closing with my supervisor and another coworker. Please note that this particular coworker had an open to close shift that day and is very tired.)

Customer: *pulls up in the drive-thru* “Are you guys open on Thursday?”

Coworker: “No, we are closed for Thanksgiving. We will be open normal hours on Friday.”

Customer: “You guys should be open. What if someone needs money?”

Coworker: “Sir, will YOU be at the bank on Thursday?”

Customer: “Heck, no. I’ll be eating lots of food and spending time with my family!”

Coworker: “Exactly. And the rest of us want to do that, too. That’s why we’re not open. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Uh… no. I think I’m good.”

Coworker: “Enjoy your evening.”

(The customer drives off. My coworker turns around to see the supervisor and me laughing our heads off.)

Me: “That was great!”

Coworker: “Will I get in trouble for saying that?!”

Supervisor: “Heck, no! You tell ’em!”


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Losing Confidence Confidentially

, , , , | Working | March 30, 2015

(My mother- and father-in-law, both retired, have a bad experience trying to open a joint account at a local branch of a particular bank. They spend two hours answering really personal questions about their finances which don’t seem to have any relevance: e.g. how much do you spend on food each month? The account isn’t even for a loan.)

Caller: “Hello, could I please speak to Mrs. [Mother-In-Law] regarding her recent experience with [Bank]?”

Father-In-Law: “She’s not at home right now. Would you like to speak to me about my experience, as I was with my wife when we opened our joint account?”

Caller: “No, I’m sorry. I have to speak directly with Mrs. [Mother-In-Law] regarding her account.”

Father-In-Law: “Well, I’m afraid she’s not at home at the moment, so you can speak to me about the account as it is a joint account and I was there with her.”

Caller: “I’m afraid I can’t discuss that information with you as it’s confidential. When will Mrs. [Mother-In-Law] be home?”

Father-In-Law: “I’m afraid I can’t discuss that information with you as it’s confidential.” *click*


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Bigotry Is Not On The Menu

, , , , , , | Right | March 24, 2015

(A few years ago I was working as a hostess in a restaurant. One night, two men come in and ask for a table. I lead them to an available one.)

Older Man: “We can’t sit at this table.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Is there something wrong?”

Older Man: “We just can’t sit here; move us somewhere else.”

(I’m confused, as the table I was seating them at was actually our most popular one. I start walking toward a manager to ask where I should move them, when the two young, clean, nicely-dressed men at the next table happen to get up to leave.)

Older Man: “It’s okay! We can sit here now!”

(I realize this guy assumed the two young men were gay, and could apparently not eat in their vicinity. I relate what happened to my (gay) manager and the (straight) server.)

Manager: “[Server], you’re only allowed to talk to these guys as if you’re the gayest person on this planet.”

(I will never forget the look of horror on the men’s faces when the server, a huge, beefy black man, started telling them the specials while sounding like a drag queen.)

 

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