Beginning Of Shift: And Now Our Watch Begins

, , , , | Right | February 9, 2020

(I am working at the jewelry counter of my department store changing a watch band. I start to get a line and call for some backup when a customer in her 70s comes up. My coworker is the first to help her.)

Coworker: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: *with the tone of an adult talking to a very small child* “Yes, I am looking for the most expensive watch that you sell. Do you think you may be able to manage that?”

Coworker: “Uh… I’m not sure; I don’t usually work in this department. Hey, [My Name], what’s the most expensive watch we sell?”

Me: “Honestly, I’m not sure. I know what brands tend to cost more but I’ll have to actually look.”

Customer: “Can’t you two handle anything? I said I need the most expensive one. Find it!

Me: “You want me to check every single watch we sell to find the one with the biggest price tag?”

Customer: *with a super fake sweet tone* “Well, of course, I do.”

Me: *putting on my nicest customer service voice* “It’ll take a minute. We have over 250 watches in the cases alone, not counting what we have in the back stock.”

(Extremely slowly, I proceed to pull the tag out of different watches, reading the prices out slowly to her. I can tell she’s losing her patience, as she starts tapping her foot and drumming her fingers on the counter. I only get through about six watches before she snaps.)

Customer: “This is just taking far too long! Why don’t you just find me the one with the most features!”

(I’m laying the customer service on so thick at this point that there’s no way she’s going to find something to complain about like she wants to.)

Me: “Of course, ma’am! Let me go ahead and read the manual on all of these! I just want to make sure I’m giving you exactly what you’re looking for.”

(I slowly pull out each manual and read the features out to her. She’s getting even more pissed off at this point.)

Customer: *sarcastically* “Oh, you just go ahead and take all the time you need! It’s not like I have anything important to do!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you are a valued customer at [Store] and I want to make sure you are 100% satisfied with your purchase today. Now, where was I?” *continues to read manuals*

Customer: “Oh, my God, this is ridiculous! Listen, honey, I know you’re ‘special,’ but why don’t you just pick one out for me? I need something for a thirteen-year-old boy. Do you think you can handle that?”

Me: *still not losing my perfect helpful face* “What’s his style?”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW! It’s your job to know these things! I don’t have time for this; just hand me one that’s $150 so I can get out of here.”

Me: “Here you are, ma’am. I can ring you up right here!”

Customer: *getting angrier by the minute that I haven’t given her a reason to talk to a manager and that she has completely failed to get a reaction* “Fine.”

Me: “You have an absolutely lovely day and thank you for shopping with us!”

Customer: *storms off after snatching her bag from me*

(Sometimes, you get way more of a reaction out of those customers by getting nicer. It was funny to watch her squirm to find something to complain about and storm out!)

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Sick Of This Pettiness

, , , , , | Learning | February 9, 2020

I am a teacher. One day, some years ago, I woke up with the flu: delirious from a spiking fever and only able to croak a few words. I was in no shape to teach, so I called in sick.

Half an hour later, a substitute teacher called me for instructions. I told her that I could barely speak but it was also apparent that I had no voice. I was probably rambling a little due to the fever but managed to tell her the lesson plans.

I then hung up and dozed off in feverish dreams. Twenty minutes later, she called again. She had lost her notes, and could I possibly repeat them? I croaked the lesson plans, hung up, and dozed off.

Fifteen minutes later, she called again. She had lost her notes. Could I repeat the lesson plans?

Wheezing and croaking, I went through the lessons for a third time, told her that if she lost her notes again she would have to improvise as I had the flu and couldn’t talk. Just leave me alone.

Five minutes later, the principal called and wondered why I refused to give out the lesson plan to the sub.

He didn’t sound entirely convinced when I told him that I had. Three times in less than an hour.

The sub then called me again screaming that she’d lost the lesson plans and I’d better come to work and instruct her. I had a coughing fit into the receiver and hung up on her.

I was fuming, partly from the fever but also because the sub was trying to set me up. Her daughter was in my class, and a few weeks prior, I hadn’t fussed enough when her daughter was sick. I spoke to the teacher she had for the class after mine so that she would get home quicker, but that wasn’t good enough, and the sub had harassed me for quite a while.

However… My desk was opposite one of the school’s most senior teachers. This was a fabulous teacher who wasn’t afraid to voice her opinion on difficult matters. She was also the next-door neighbour of the sub, and the two hated each other. As the sub was in a foul mood, she fairly quickly began screaming at the other teacher, who in turn screamed back. The sub then began throwing stuff at them!

As they weren’t alone in the room, the sub couldn’t deny that she had begun the attacks, and she was banned from ever working at my school again.

During the screaming match, the sub bragged about how she had harassed me that day and in the previous weeks, so I didn’t end up in any trouble despite her scheming.

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Bad Behavior, A Clever Gamble, And Karma All In One Package

, , , , , , | Right | February 7, 2020

(I am dropping off a package at the post office. I am pretty busy but I don’t have anywhere to be so I wait my turn patiently. Unfortunately, as soon as the clerk is free, my phone begins to ring.)

Me: “Oh, shoot. I gotta take this.” *to the person behind me* “You can go ahead.”

Woman #1: “Thank you!”

(I step off to the side to take my call as the woman goes on ahead. It turns out it’s nothing big and I am able to hang up quickly and go back to waiting behind [Woman #1]. However, when [Woman #1] is done and walking away…)

Woman #2: “MOVE!”

(This second lady shoulders me out of the way and slams her package onto the counter as though we were in some sort of race.)

Clerk: “Actually, ma’am, she was next in–“

Woman #2: “No, she wasn’t. She stepped out of line to answer her phone, so she gave up her spot. She can go to the back of the line, or leave!”

(Then, in perfect timing that only this chaotic universe can provide, HER phone ends up ringing. I don’t know where it’s coming from until she looks at her purse then looks back up, making eye contact with me. Whether it is because she catches the hint of smugness and amusement on my face, has decided to double-down on her own assertion, or would’ve done the same if this situation hadn’t happened, she turns back to the clerk, digs out her phone from her purse, and ANSWERS IT RIGHT THERE.)

Woman #2: “Oh, hi, [Friend]. How’ve you been?”

Clerk: “Uh, ma’am?”

Woman #2: *shoving her package towards the clerk’s general direction* “Yeah, I’m just at the post office getting my son’s gift weighed and priced.” *pointedly looking at clerk* “I would’ve already been out of here if there weren’t idiots holding up the line.”

(I have had it with this woman and am about to start ripping into her. Truth be told, I don’t know what I could say to her that wouldn’t cause more of a delay for everyone, but I luckily never get to. Unbeknownst to anyone, [Woman #1] has stayed back and watched the whole thing unfold.)

Woman #1: “[Woman #2]?”

Woman #2: *freezes, then looks at [Woman #1], confused*

Woman #1: “[Woman #2]? [Woman #2], is that you? What are you doing?”

Woman #2: “I… I’m sorry, I don’t—”

Woman #1: “You’ve never acted like this, never. I honestly can’t believe my eyes. Is this how you are to others?”

Woman #2: *beet red* “I… I’ve got to go!!”

(With that, she practically snatches up her package from the clerk’s hands and bolts out of the place. A collective sigh of relief is had for everyone present and I finally make it to the counter. [Woman #1] stands by to check in on me as the clerk is doing her thing.)

Woman #1: “Are you all right?”

Me: “I’m fine, thank you. But, um… I’m sorry about your friend. Maybe she was…”

Woman #1: *laughing* “Oh, I have no idea who the h*** she is, thank God. I just took a peek at what names were on her package and made a gamble.”

(I’m so thankful for that woman. She unknowingly saved me from blowing a gasket with her quick thinking. Since the local post office is super close to me, I hope to run into her again and trade contact info, at least to send her a holiday card for the future!)

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I Have No Power To Help Those Who Will Not Help Themselves

, , , , , , | Right | February 6, 2020

(I work for a company that does outsource billing support for an electric company in another state. Today, this happened.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Power Company]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to pay my bill. I got a shut-off notice.”

Me: “Certainly, I can help you with that. Can I have your account number, please?” *looks up the account* “To keep your service on, we’d need a payment of $148.73 by 5:00 pm today. How would you like to pay that? We accept checks by phone, VISA, and MasterCard.”

Customer: “I don’t have that much.”

Me: “All right, what are you able to pay today?”

Customer: “Seventy-five bucks.”

Me: “Tell you what. I’ll set you up on a payment arrangement — $75 today and we’ll add a portion of the remainder to your next few bills until it’s paid off.”

Customer: “No! I ain’t going on a payment arrangement.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Open your ears, dips***; I said I ain’t going on no f****** payment arrangement!”

Me: “First of all, please watch your language. Secondly, if you went on the arrangement you’d be back to current within a month or two, and you’d keep your electric service on in the meantime.”

Customer: “You’re going to take my $75 and you’re not shutting off my d*** service.”

Me: “Sir, if you only pay the $75 without the arrangement, I can assure you that your service will be shut off come 5:00 pm.”

(Our company uses remote capable or Smart Meters. The power goes off at 5:00 pm on the disconnect notice due date if payment or an arrangement is not made.)

Customer: “F*** you. I’ll pay it online.”

(This was around 4:30 pm. A little after 5:00, out of curiosity, I pulled up his account again. True to his word, he did pay $75 online. Yes, his service was shut off for non-payment. He called back and ended up screaming his way to a supervisor. Now, not only did he need to pay the remainder of the past due to get reconnected, but he also was charged a $500 deposit since he had been shut off before. Karma’s a b****.)

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Some Schadenfreude With The Bombardierung Mit Werbung!

, , , , , | Legal | February 5, 2020

(I’ve had the same phone number for about nine years. I have been getting calls for [Stranger] the entire time. The calls never stop, no matter how many numbers I block, so I decide to start answering them in German. My dad speaks German, and I have picked up some very simple phrases from him, but I can in no way speak German, so apologies for my German grammar mistakes. Most of the spammers hang up quickly, but this guy didn’t give up easily.)

Me: “Hallo?” *Hello?*

Caller: “Hi I’m calling for [Stranger].”

Me: “Ich liebe dich.” *I love you*

Caller: “Is [Stranger] there?”

Me: “Schlafen Sie gut!” *Sleep well!*

Caller: “I’m sorry…”

Me: *angrily* “NEIN, ich bin ein Krankenwagen!” *NO, I am an ambulance!*

Caller: “I’m sorry; I don’t speak Spanish.”

Me: *in my best thick German accent* “No… No Spanish… German.”

Caller: “Oh… uh… okay… bye..” 

(The calls haven’t stopped, but I get them about once a week instead of multiple times daily. I actually look forward to getting a spam call now!)

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