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Buying Bread Costs You Dough

, , , , , | Right | May 26, 2011

Me: “I’m sorry, the bread isn’t scanning on to the till. I will just go and check the price on the shelf.”

Customer: “When I was a boy like you, I used to work everything out in my head. None of this till business.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t seem to find where you got that particular type of bread from. May I ask where you took it from?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Is your manager here?”

Me: “She leaves me in the shop on Sundays. Did you get the bread from here?”

Customer: “No. I got it from the supermarket.”

Me: “So, you’ve already paid for it at another shop, sir?”

Customer: “I’m sorry. My brain isn’t what it used to be.”

Me: “That’s why I use a till, sir.”


This story is part of our Ironic Customers roundup!

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Coupons Are A Big Deal

, , , , , , | Right | April 15, 2011

(I am a customer at a deli. I am the second in line.)

Cashier: “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity]? You’ll receive a–”

Customer: *ahead of me* “No! What is it with all these add-ons? I’m so sick of it! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

(The customer continues her tirade and the poor cashier looks like she is near tears. The customer is finished, then the cashier rings up my order. The customer continues to stand at the counter as she is waiting for her food.)

Cashier: *to me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity]? You’ll receive a free coupon book.”

Me: “A coupon book? Sure, why not?”

(The cashier takes my money, and hands me the coupon book.)

Customer: *to me* “What kind of coupons are in there?”

Me: “I don’t know. You can take a look, if you want.”

(The customer flips through the coupon book. She then goes to put it in her purse.)

Me: “Excuse me? That was my coupon book.”

Customer: “Oh right! Oops! How silly of me!”

(She hands me the coupon book.)

Customer: “Say, how about if I buy that $10 off coupon for [local party supplies store] off of you for $1?”

Me: “Well, I guess so.”

(The customer hands me $1, and I give her the coupon. I then turn to the cashier and give her the dollar.)

Me: *to cashier* “Can I donate another dollar and get another coupon book?”

Cashier: “Sure!”

(The customer looks confused and embarrassed.)

Me: *to customer* “Oh, by the way, I get annoyed with all of the extra questions and add-ons too. But I find a simple, ‘No, thank you,’ works just fine.”

Customer: “Hmph!”

(She crosses her arms and pouts until her food is ready. She then grabs it and stomps out.)


This story is part of the Confused-By-Coupons roundup!

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Hard Smoker

, , , , , | Right | April 10, 2011

(I am working the till. A teenage boy walks up to the counter.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want [Brand] smokes.”

Me: “Do you have ID?”

(He gives me a strange look.)

Customer: “Just get me the f****** smokes!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if you-”

(He leans forwards and cracks his knuckles.)

Customer: “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.”

(I notice my coworker standing behind him. He’s an ex-boxer.)

Coworker: “Okay, let’s do this the hard way.”

(The customer turns around, yelps, and runs out the door.)

Coworker: *smiling* “Aw, I don’t think he likes me.”

Ah, Children

, , , , , | Right | March 22, 2011

(A customer approaches with her two-year-old son in arms, and her five-year-old daughter. As she is about to order, a customer from a few minutes earlier storms in front of her. She is yelling and screaming incoherently, and throws her drink on the counter.)

Daughter: *to her mother* “Mummy, why is the lady yelling?”

Mother: “Never mind it, she’s just being rude.”

(The little girl scowls, and points at the customer.)

Daughter: “You cut that out right now! You need to be more polite!”

(Taking the example from his sister, the toddler starts pointing and yelling.)

Toddler: “BAD! BAD!”

(The irate customer is embarrassed. She shuts up and storms out. The little girl gets a free hot chocolate.)

Application Confrontation

, , , , , | Right | March 10, 2011

(I’m walking the floor. A customer walks through the front door and approaches me.)

Customer: *mutters* “Where do I go to fill out an application?”

(I have a walkie-talkie and headset on. When the customer asks her question, my manager begins to speak to me over the walkie.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I didn’t quite catch that.”

Customer: *raised voice* “Where. Can. I. Go. To. Get. An. App-li-ca-tion? Don’t they teach you how to listen here?”

Me: “Yes, they do. Someone was talking in my ear, so I didn’t hear you the first time. You can pick up an application over here.”

(I walk her to the application kiosk. About an hour goes by, and I get a call on the walkie that a customer wants to see me. It’s the same customer.)

Customer: “Oh, you again. I just finished my application. Is there a manager or human resources available to talk to? Should I repeat myself again?”

Me: “You’re talking to him.”