The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2008

(A customer had a complaint about his food. He refused to let the woman working the register help him.)

Man: “I want to talk to a manager.”

Female Employee: “Yes, sir.”

(The employee gets a shift manager to help her.)

Shift Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

Man: “No, I want a manager!”

Shift Manager: “I am a shift manager, sir.”

Man: “I want to see the store manager!”

Shift Manager: “Uhm, okay, sir, I’ll be right back.”

(I was in the office working on the crew schedules for the next week. Shift Manager comes in and asks me to deal with the customer. She didn’t need to explain. I’d heard it all… He was very loud. I went to help deal with the situation.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Man: “I want to see a f****** God-d*** manager! Where’s the f****** store manager?”

Me: “I am the store manager, Sir.”

Man: “I want to speak to a male manager!”

Me: “Sir, all of my shift managers are female. As, clearly, am I.”

(Actually, every person working that day was female.)

Man: “I demand to speak to your d*** f***ing boss!”

Me: “I can get you a number so you can call my district manager, sir. Will that be okay?”

Man: “Finally! DO IT NOW!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Just a second.”

(I go into my office and grab one of the district manager’s cards.)

Me: “Here you are, sir. If you give HER a call, I’m sure SHE will be happy to help you.”

(I thought he was going to have a heart attack after that. Purple was definitely not his color.)


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Having A Hussie Fit

, , , | Right | January 24, 2008

Me: “Here’s your lemonade, sir, what can I get you to eat?”

Customer: “I’ll have a bowl of chili.”

(I walk to the back of the restaurant get bowl of chili and take it to him. This takes all of one minute.)

Customer: *angrily* “That took far too long. Did you socialize with the other hussies that work here on your way?”

Me: “No, sir. That’s how long it takes to walk back and get the chili.”

Customer: “I’m not paying for any of this.”

(He then gets up to storm out the front door but instead runs into the door that has the “Use Other Door” sign on it. The “hussies” and I didn’t stop laughing for a while.)

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God, I Love Lawyers

, , | Right | December 1, 2007

Me: “Okay, sir, so I would just need you to verify your information and sign here–”

(The patient cuts me off, snatches the clipboard, and gives me this I’m-not-stupid look.)

Patient: “Listen, I don’t need you to tell me what to do. I’m a lawyer and I know how the system works!”

(He sits down and starts looking over the paperwork. Five minutes later…)

Patient: “Ma’am, where did you need me to sign?”


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