The Only Digging Is Into The Hole You Made Yourself

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 6, 2017

(My boyfriend and I are going out for dinner. I’m currently a full-time student, so we’re living on his salary until I finish school and start my job. The bill comes and he goes to pay it when another customer, who’s been glowering at us all this time, decides to jump in.)

Stranger: “Letting her man pay for everything! Gold-digger.”

(We both freeze, and I look over at him.)

Me: “Not that it’s really any of your business, but I’m still in school. I’ll start paying for things as soon as I start making money.”

Stranger: *mocking* “Oh, and what are you studying? Flower arranging? Interior design? You’re going to be mooching off your man forever. This is what’s wrong with the world! You need to go out and get a real job instead of being a gold-digging freeloader!”

(My boyfriend decides to jump in.)

Boyfriend: “Actually, she’s a medical student. We’re out celebrating because she just found out she got her residency at [Prestigious Local Hospital], and she’ll be starting there as soon as she finishes up her last round of rotations. Give it a few years, and she’ll making… probably four times what I do.” *laughing* “If anything, I’m the gold-digger; I’m just doing it preemptively!”

(The guy goes red and can’t make eye contact, while my boyfriend and I start affectionately arguing about whether it’s possible be a preemptively gold-digger, or whether that’s just investment in your partner’s career. When the waitress comes to collect our check a minute later, she brings us a couple slices of chocolate cake, as well.)

Boyfriend: “Oh, we didn’t order these.”

Waitress: “Yeah, I know. On the house. Congratulations on getting a good residency, and good job handling that jerk! That was the best laugh I’ve had all night.” *raising her voice just a little, and winking at us* “Some people just can’t keep their noses out of other people’s business.”

(The guy went even redder, and we both thanked her profusely. Great way to end the night!)

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A Tasteless Starter, Misogynistic Main, And A Just Dessert

, , , , , , | Working | November 3, 2017

(I’m at lunch with my son and daughter-in-law when my son makes a tasteless joke at his wife’s expense.)

Me: “Even if you’re joking, you do not talk to her like that. Or any other woman.”

Waiter: *stage whispered* “Aww… You’re a feminist; how cute.”

Me: “Aww… You’re an unoriginal misogynist; bet you don’t get any.”

(We didn’t see him for the rest of our meal.)

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Quit By Friday

, , , , , | Working | November 2, 2017

(I’m a junior in college. I’ve been working at this store since high school. My boss, while not a nice person, has always been great about working with my class schedule.)

Me: “Hey, [Boss], here’s my class schedule for this coming semester. Due to my new schedule, I can’t work Mondays or Wednesdays anymore, but I can do Tuesdays and Thursdays, instead.”

Boss: “Thanks for telling me! This won’t be an issue.”

(When I get the next week’s schedule, I notice I’m not scheduled. I shrug it off, until I’m not scheduled the week after that, either! I track down my boss.)

Me: “Hey! What’s up with the schedule? I haven’t been on there for two weeks.”

Boss: “Oh, I don’t have a need for you on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

Me: “Not even between four and eight? We’re always busy then.”

Boss: “What I need you to do is work Mondays and Wednesdays.”

Me: “I can’t. I have class from 9:00 to 5:30. Then I have project groups that meet after class. You said the schedule change was fine!”

Boss: “Figure it out, [My Name]. You’re not getting any hours until you put your schedule back to Mondays and Wednesdays. That’s when I want you to work.”

(I fume about it, until I find out the on-campus bookstore is hiring. I apply and am hired on the spot. They even ask me for my class list, so that they can schedule around it. I return to the grocery store a couple days later, resignation in hand.)

Boss: *smugly* “So, have you come back to change your schedule?”

Me: “I sure have.” *hands her my resignation letter* “I quit.”

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If You Cut The Line We Cut The Cheese

, , , , , | Right | November 1, 2017

(The store has multiple cash registers, but only one line. It is very busy, and I am in line, when a woman pushes her way past everyone else waiting and starts unloading her basket at a register that still has another customer trying to finish their purchase.)

Cashier: “Miss, you need to go back and wait in line, please.”

Customer: “No! I’m in a hurry, and I don’t have time for that!”

(The argument started. While the cashier was trying as best she could to get the woman to act like a reasonable adult, the guy in front of me wandered over next to the rude woman, circled back, and in a quiet voice muttered, “That’ll teach her!” and walked back towards the sales floor. No one else in line had any idea what he had done until the woman started yelling and gagging from the horrible “crop dusting.”)

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A Lawless Rabble

, , , , , | Right | October 31, 2017

(I’m the last in line and there’s only one cashier — perhaps the only employee in the whole store. She finishes ringing out the first customer, then puts a closed sign on her register.)

Cashier: “I’m so sorry, but I’m required to take a break right now.”

(She quickly leaves before the grumbling starts. The other three customers in line are furious.)

Customer #1: “I can’t believe this! What a lazy b****!”

Customer #2: “You’d think the store would care that there. Are. Customers. In. LINE.”

Customer #3: “I’m calling her manager. I’ll have her fired!”

Me: *finally deciding enough is enough* “Denver requires companies to give breaks, even if you’re the only one working.”

(They round on me, then stop. I’m a tiny woman in a wheelchair, and that seems to give them pause.)

Customer #2: *red-faced* “Well… Well, I guess if it’s the law.”

(They turned back around and patiently waited. The cashier was back within five minutes, but they didn’t say a word.)

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