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Outnumbered But Not Outmatched

, , , , | Right | December 19, 2021

During an insanely busy weekend before Christmas, a woman is complaining to every associate about how messy our store is. The manager has relieved the girl at the fitting room and is helping to hang stuff. This woman pulls her crap and is trying to make a point that we are messy and a horrible place to shop.

Manager: *Roughly* “Ma’am, we’re messy at the moment because we’re a popular store, and the biggest reason we’re messy is because of people like you who can’t be bothered to pick up after themselves. It’s not the associates making the mess; it’s people like you. Your type has us outnumbered.”

That was the first time I actually witnessed someone deflate.

Okay, Shoe-mer

, , , , , | Working | December 17, 2021

I’m on my break, and I’m fixing my shoes that have started to come apart at the back. I’ve cleaned them and am applying the shoe glue when one of the younger guys comes up to me.

Coworker: “What’re you doing?”

Me: “Oh, fixing my shoes.”

Coworker: *Laughs* “What? Just buy new ones.”

Me: “These shoes cost £40; the glue costs £2. I’m going to try to fix them first.”

Coworker: “They are just going to fall apart again.”

Me: “Not in my experience. If done properly, the repair outlasts the shoe itself.”

Coworker: “Whatever you say, boomer.”

I am thirty-five!

Only a few weeks later, the same coworker sheepishly comes up to me to ask if I have the glue still.

Me: “I thought you just bought new shoes?”

Coworker: “Yeah, but… well, I thought about what you said, and you might be right.”

Me: “Was that your apology?”

Coworker: “No, this is. Sorry. Could you show me how to fix my shoe, please?”

I did it for him while he watched. Both his and my shoes seem to be lasting six months on. And I don’t get quite so many stupid comments from him.

This Lady Is Soul-Destroying

, , , | Right | December 16, 2021

A woman asks to cut me in the prescription pickup line because she is very sick. I am also very sick and can barely stand, but she is much older, and the line is at least twelve people deep. I am going to agree. But then…

Customer: *Screaming* “Oh, just forget it! I can already tell you’re not gonna let me. You’re heartless!”

Me: “Well, you didn’t give me a chance to respond.”

Customer: *Yelling* “That’s because you have no soul!”

Me: “You’re right. Enjoy the back of the line.”

She asks a few people behind me and they all say, “No.” I hear one man say:

Other Customer: “I don’t have a soul, either. Sorry.”

Bowling For Soup And Striking Out

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: No_Safety8877 | December 15, 2021

I am a general manager at a fast-casual sandwich place that also serves soup, pizza, and pasta. I am only twenty-four and have somehow gotten the general manager job.

We’re in a small town, and a lot of people know the owner. He has five [Sandwich Shop]s in the area, but one is his pride and joy. I’m still not sure why, but this one has the brand-new oven with four different conveyor belts that you can change speeds on if you need to do catering or something, while my store has two conveyors, one of which is broken half the time. They are given the nice soup bowls that are normal glassware for people who want to eat in store, as well as a couple of other things that just make life easier for them.

One of my employees comes over.

Employee: “I have a customer who’s very unhappy that she was given a to-go soup bowl when she told us she was eating here. I tried to explain to her that we have only been given to-go bowls, but she wasn’t having it. She started belittling me and then demanded to see a manager.”

The owner is one of those guys who act like anyone except for the general manager and assistant general manager are idiots. He evens call them “the hourlies” which I also think is weird. So, unfortunately, I can’t just go up and tell this lady off; I have to talk to her until she gets testy with me.

Me: “Hello, ma’am. I’m the general manager. What seems to be the matter?”

At first, she starts laughing.

Customer: *To her friend* “Look! The idiot employee went and got a friend so won’t get in trouble for lying.” *To me* “I want a manager, not some idiot—”

But then, she stops when she sees my name tag. She goes into this rant.

Customer: “Your employee lied to us about not having bowls! You probably just haven’t washed them because you’re all lazy!”

Me: “We don’t have regular bowls, ma’am. Our owner hasn’t given us any.”

That doesn’t go over well.

Customer: “I go to [Other Location] all the time, and I know it’s the same owner! I know you’re lying!”

She starts getting snippy with me, cutting me off when I try to say anything. Eventually, I am able to cut in.

Me: “Ma’am, the owner only gave bowls to that particular store and has not given them to any other store. If you want a real bowl, you’ll have to go there.”

Customer: “I know the owner, and he wouldn’t do that! You’re just lying because you’re an idiot. You only work here because you’re a loser. If you were intelligent and knew what was good for you, you’d go get me the right bowl!”

Finally, I have had enough.

Me: “If you know the owner, then you should tell them that we need those bowls to avoid dealing with people like you. I have put up with your disrespect enough. You need to leave. And you won’t have to worry about our bowls anymore because I will not serve you anymore. You can go to the other store from now on.”

She is stunned. She turns to a gentleman right next to her.

Customer: “Can you believe today’s youth? They are so disrespectful and need to be put in their place!”

The guy looks her dead in the eye.

Guy: “This manager put up with more than I would have. You’re the one who needs to be put in your place.”

She stormed out, threatening to get me fired, and I gave that guy a coupon for a free meal.

Karma-lic Bread

, , , , | Romantic | December 15, 2021

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping. Among other things, I bought a loaf of pre-packaged garlic bread to use for dinner tonight. It was on the kitchen counter when my husband came in.

Husband: “Great, garlic bread. Can I have some now?” 

Me: “I have to bake it. It’s only partially baked.”

Husband: “Yeah, but can I have some now?”

Me: “It’s not baked.”

Husband: “Okay, but can I have some?”

Me: “It’s not cooked.”

Husband: “Okay, but can I have some?”

Me: *Giving up* “If you want to eat raw bread, help yourself.”

So, he cut himself a piece and chowed down… and made a face.

Husband: “Wow, this is pretty bad.”

He spat out what was in his mouth.

Me: “Really, eating raw bread wasn’t as great as you were expecting. Can’t imagine why.”

Husband: “Raw? Why didn’t you say so?”

Me: “I did. You didn’t want to hear it.”

He plunked down the piece of bread he cut and sulked away.

Side note, I baked it for dinner tonight. It was delicious when baked up all crispy and golden.