The Twilight Sparkle In Their Eyes

, , , , , | Right | September 25, 2020

I’m in line at a sandwich shop ordering a meatball sub.

Customer: *Behind me* “Excuse me.”

I turn around to see a woman in her early fifties wearing lots of jewelry.

Customer: “Is that a My Little Pony on your shirt?”

Me: “Yeah, you a fan?”

Customer: “No! That show is evil and you are a degenerate!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “That show ruined my son! Now he has dyed his hair in rainbow colors and he buys toys for little girls and goes to these awful conventions with smelly people that do the same thing!”

Tears begin to run down her face. People in the store are turning to look.

Me: “Ma’am, maybe you shouldn’t be so judgmental of me or your son. It’s just a show that a lot of people happen to like, a show that teaches about the value of friendship and acceptance. Perhaps you could stand to learn a lesson or two from it yourself.”

Customer: “No! My son had such a promising future and now he’s admitted to me that he is a homosexual! It’s all that d*** show’s fault! People like you ruined my son!”

She reaches out to slap me, but I quickly deflect the blow.

Me: “Ma’am, please don’t touch me. I train regularly in Krav Maga.”

The woman grabs her forearm where her arm had met mine.

Customer: “Help! This degenerate struck me for standing up for my beliefs!”

She looks, wild-eyed, at the small girl behind the counter, who has watched the whole thing without saying a word.

Customer: “You! Call for your manager and have this society-destroying pariah thrown out of here! He assaulted me!”

Manager: “I am the manager. And I just saw that whole thing. It’s you who had better leave. I won’t have you assaulting people in my place of business for wearing shirts that express their values.”

The woman stomps out in a huff without ordering any food. People sitting at the tables and in line begin to clap for me and the manager.

Manager: “Sorry about that. And hey, the sub’s on us. Because nobody messes with Twilight Sparkle.”

She reached over the glass to give me a high-five, even after I insisted on paying for my lunch. And wouldn’t you know it? Her phone number was written on the napkin she put in my bag.

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That’s One Way To Maintain Social Distance!

, , , , , , , | Working | September 23, 2020

Due to the current health crisis, it is required that customers wear a face covering when entering any shop. I’ve just finished my shopping and am heading back to my car when I suddenly remember I need to buy a birthday card. I dash back to the local independent card shop, and seeing that there is only one other customer, I head straight inside, forgetting I have removed my mask.

Cashier: “Hey! You need to wear a mask!”

Me: “Oh! I’m so sorry!”

I go back outside, get my mask out, and pop it on, and I head back in.

Cashier: *Glaring at me* “You can’t just come in without a mask!”

Me: “I’m really sorry. I totally forgot. I was just—”

Cashier: “You have to wear one! It’s against the law if you don’t!”

Me: “I know. I’ve been wearing one all day. I’d just taken it off—”

Cashier: “We could call the police, you know! People think they’re above the law. You could infect people!”

Me: “Okay, look. I made a mistake and I apologised. I’m wearing a mask now. Can I shop here or not?”

Cashier: “Hmph. Made a mistake. Right. Are you one of those conspiracy theory people? I bet you’re against vaccines, too, aren’t you? You think the government’s lying and—”

I stare at her in complete disbelief as she starts to go on about anti-vaxxers and other weird conspiracies, and eventually, she realises that both I and the other customer are just standing there staring, and trails off.

Me: “Are you done?”

Cashier: “All I’m saying—”

Me: “No. I don’t care. I made a simple mistake, I’ve got my mask on now, you have stood there and spouted ridiculous accusations, and you’ve guaranteed I’ll never shop here again. Great customer service. Congratulations.”

The cashier stutters as I walk out.

Cashier: “But— Er— I didn’t— Um—”

The other customer dumps a handful of cards on the counter.

Customer: “You know what? I’d rather buy these somewhere else now.”

That customer walked out right behind me.

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This Story Starts At A Ten And Gets Better

, , , , , | Right | September 21, 2020

I am working in a small electronics aisle in a superstore. A sweet old lady has approached me.

Old Lady: “I am looking for this thing for my grandson. Let me see here…”

She pulls a piece of paper out of her pocket from one of our ads, and a $10-bill accidentally falls out with it. A middle-aged woman standing nearby sees it, her eyes go wide, and she grabs it and stuffs it in her pocket before the old lady can see.

The poor old lady is looking around very confused, wondering where her wayward bill has gone. I approach the woman.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, I believe that money you just picked up belongs to this customer here.”

Woman: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Me: “Ma’am, I saw you—”

Before I can finish, the woman struts off. The old lady is looking at me, slightly shocked.

Old Lady: “Did she just take my money?”

Me: “I’m afraid so, ma’am. Would you like me to call security? I am sure if the camera saw it, we can—”

Old Lady: “No need, she’s not worth it. I just need this item in the ad for my grandson, please?”

The item she’s looking for is a computer tablet, so I open the small cabinet where we stock them.

Old Lady: “Actually, could I have two? This ad is a really good deal!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am!”

I hand her two boxes, advise her that the security tags will be removed at the checkout, and wish her well.

About ten minutes later I am running an errand that brings me near the registers when I hear the alarms going off near the exit. I quickly have a look to see what is happening. The thieving woman from before is shouting at the security guard, and pointing at her receipt.

Woman: “I’ve paid for everything! It’s your f****** broken sensors! This is f****** embarrassing!”

Security: “Ma’am, I can see that everything in your bag matches the receipt. May I search your bag?”

Woman: “Absolutely not! I am not a thief! I am leaving!”

She tries to leave but more security has arrived. She eventually relents and opens her huge designer bag for Security to search… and out comes a box for an electronic tablet, security-tag still attached.

As the woman is screeching that she didn’t put that tablet in there, I see the old woman from before nonchalantly walking past, an ever-so-slight smile on her face, with her just-purchased tablet in her bag.

Just the one tablet, mind you…

Share your experience today! Ever witness a perfect piece of karma? Share your story with the NAR community! We all love to read about the deserving getting their comeuppance!

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Bless Your Heart And Your Hideous Shoes

, , , , | Working | September 21, 2020

When I am a teenager, my grandmother takes me out shoe shopping at a department store. We have been browsing around, seeing if anything catches our eye at a few stores in the mall.

One of the sales ladies greets us as soon as we walked in. That’s not at all unusual. What is unusual is her persistence. 

Sales Lady: “Is there anything I can help you find today?”

Grandmother: “No, thank you. We’re just looking.”

Not a full minute later…

Sales Lady: “Is there something in particular I can help you find today?”

Grandmother: *Much more firmly* “No, thank you. We’re fine.”

Only a few minutes later, when Grandma picks up a shoe to show it to me…

Sales Lady: “Is there a size I can get that in for you to try on?”

Grandmother: *Very curt now* “Honey, I will let you know if we need any help.”

I know my grandma very well, and by her tone, I know that this lady has pushed her much, much further than is wise. For reference, my grandma is one of those little old southern ladies who you never want to get on the wrong side of at the church potluck, you know? I know a “bless your heart” is coming and when it does, d***.

We eventually find a shoe I like.

Grandma: “Want to try this one on?”

Sales Lady: *Appearing instantly* “What size can I get for you?”

Grandma: “Actually, is there someone else here who can help us?”

Sales Lady: *Shocked* “Well, yes, but can I ask why I can’t help you today?”

Grandma: *With a loving smile and a honey-sweet voice* “I’m so sorry, sugar, but I just can’t buy shoes from someone wearing the ugliest pair I’ve ever seen.”

Needless to say, the lady’s coworker helped us with the purchase, and I went home with a new pair of boots and another reason to add to the list of why you don’t push Grandma too far.

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Just Enough Spanish To Make Them Wonder

, , , , , , | Right | September 20, 2020

I’m a cashier at a well-known Southern grocery store chain known for super nice employees. I like to chat with my customers as they come through my line. This particular customer has just whipped out her cell phone and started talking.

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

The customer ignores me and switches her conversation to Spanish. I am part Hispanic myself, although very light-skinned.

Me: “Plastic or paper, ma’am?”

The customer, still speaking Spanish, starts talking about “this stupid girl at the store who keeps interrupting me.” I understand almost every word, but I continue as though I can’t.

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is $102.40. Will that be credit or debit today?”

The customer swipes her card, all while continuing to insult me in Spanish. I hand her the receipt.

Me: “Gracias, señorita, buenas noches!”

The customer looked up quickly and I smirked at her. Her face turned red and she ran out of the store.

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