Positive, feel-good stories

The Lesser Of Teen Evils

, , , , , , | Right | December 19, 2010

(A man and his two sons are checking out through my register. The younger of the two sons grabs a bag of Skittles from the candy selection.)

Son: “Dad, can I have some Skittles?”

Dad: “No. Teenage girls eat Skittles. And what are teenage girls?”

Both Sons: *raising their little fists in the air* “EVIL!”


This story is part of the Adorable Kids roundup!

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Acting Juvie-nile

, , , , | Right | October 12, 2010

(While stocking the shelves I overhear a young boy from a few aisles over. He sounds very distressed.)

Boy: “What?! Are you freaking kidding me? Nuh-uh! No way!”

(The kid sounds like he is really in trouble, so my coworker and I go to investigate. He is sitting in front of the back-to-school section with his mother.)

Boy: “I have to go back to school?! What do you mean, I have to go back?! I just got out!


This story is part of the Back To School roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Zany Stories About Music In Our Schools!

 

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This story is part of the Adorable Kids roundup!

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No Pranks, Just Thanks

, , , , | Right | May 18, 2010

(I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving.)

Boy: “Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I’m thankful… I’m thankful for… I’m thankful for my friends at school!”

Caretaker: “You’re thankful for your friends at school?”

Boy: “Yeah! Yeah, and… and… what are you thankful for? Are you thankful for your friends?”

Caretaker: *no response*

Boy: “Are you thankful for me?”

Caretaker: “I’m thankful for you, kid. I’m more thankful for you than all my friends in the world.”

Boy: *smiles*


This story is part of our Thanksgiving roundup!

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This story is part of our Autism roundup!

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Not Exactly The Pick Of The Litter, Part 2

, , , , , , | Right | April 7, 2010

(One of my regulars comes to my cash with her small child. The mother is very much pregnant.)

Me: “Oh, hello, [Mother] and [Daughter]. How are you today?”

Customer: “We’re great!” *turns to daughter* “Tell [My Name] what Mommy is going to have in September!”

Customer’s Daughter: “A baby!”

Me: “Really? What do you hope it’ll be?”

Customer’s Daughter: “A puppy!”


This story is part of the Puppy roundup!

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The Wisdom To Know The Difference

, , , , , , , | Right | March 1, 2010

(I’m with my wife at a well known fast food place, and they employ a young man with special needs who we both know and are very friendly with. An angry customer accosts him at the register.)

Customer: “S***, they’re taking so f***ing long with my food!”

Employee: “Just a sec, sir…”

Customer: “You’d better!”

(Not three minutes later, the employee comes with the customer’s food.)

Employee: “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “Where’s the f****** ranch?”

Employee: “Right away, sir!”

Customer: “No, forget it! You’ll probably slobber all over it!”

Wife: “Excuse me, sir, but this young man is doing his job. He’s not doing anything to hurt you, so how about you shut the f*** up!”

Customer: “F*** you, fat a**!”

Employee: “She’s a nice lady! There’s a baby inside her, and she’s not fat!”

Customer: “F*** you!” *storms out, upsetting some chairs*

Wife: *to the employee* “People are so mean to you, honey. I’m so sorry, I can’t believe he said that to you, that a**hole!”

Employee: *grinning* “Don’t worry about it, Jesus and my mama still love me!” *walks away, the happiest man on earth*

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