Se Habla Japañol

, , , , , , , | Right | February 2, 2011

(I am taking orders on both lanes at the fast food restaurant. I already have other customers at the second window as someone pulls up to the menu board.)

Customer: “Hablas español?” (“Do you speak Spanish?”)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’ll be with you in just a minute.”

Customer: “Hablas español?”

(I say the only thing I know in Spanish.)

Me: “Lo siento, pero no puedo hablar español. Solamente inglés o japonés.” (“I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish. Only English or Japanese.”)

Customer: *in heavily accented English* “I SPEAK JAPANESE TOO!”

Me: “Hontoo? Nihongo o hanasu?” (“Really? You speak Japanese?”)

Customer: “Soo desu yo! Shichi-ban ga hoshii, nomimono wa Sprite desu!” (“Yes I do! I want a number 7 with Sprite!”)

Me: “Nani mo ga hoshii?” (“Would you like anything else?”)

Customer: “Chotto.” (“No thank you.”)

Me: “Hai soo desu, shichi doru san juu sento onegaishimasu. Ni-ban me fune de gozaimasu.”

(The other customers at the second window are still there with a flabbergasted look on their faces. I hand them their food.)

Me: “Don’t ask, it’d take too long to explain. Have a nice night.”

Other Customers: “Sayonara!”


This story is part of our Japan roundup!

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Medical Training These Days Is Shocking

, , , , , , | Right | January 6, 2011

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from [College] returning your call. What can I do for you?”

Student: “Hi, I was calling to find out–”

(A very loud noise erupts in the background: yelling, laughing, and a strange buzzing sound ensues.)

Student: *sounding embarrassed* “Sorry about that. I work at a hospital and it’s really quiet today. Everyone’s playing Operation (the game).”

Me: *laughing* “Ma’am, you just made my day.”


This story is part of the American States roundup!

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Little Nuggets Of Interest

, , , , , , | Right | December 21, 2010

(I am providing a tour through Ireland and explaining its history.)

Me: “…and then the Danish Vikings and the Norse Vikings got together and created the most fantastic thing in the world. Does anyone know what that is?”

Young Passenger: “Chicken nuggets!”

Me: “I was going to say red hair, but that answer just blows mine out of the water!”

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The Lesser Of Teen Evils

, , , , , , | Right | December 19, 2010

(A man and his two sons are checking out through my register. The younger of the two sons grabs a bag of Skittles from the candy selection.)

Son: “Dad, can I have some Skittles?”

Dad: “No. Teenage girls eat Skittles. And what are teenage girls?”

Both Sons: *raising their little fists in the air* “EVIL!”


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Acting Juvie-nile

, , , , | Right | October 12, 2010

(While stocking the shelves I overhear a young boy from a few aisles over. He sounds very distressed.)

Boy: “What?! Are you freaking kidding me? Nuh-uh! No way!”

(The kid sounds like he is really in trouble, so my coworker and I go to investigate. He is sitting in front of the back-to-school section with his mother.)

Boy: “I have to go back to school?! What do you mean, I have to go back?! I just got out!”

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