I Have A Good Feeling About This

, , , , , , | Right | March 21, 2016

(Our shop sells a lot of space-themed items, including a good deal of Star Wars merchandise. I am approached by two guys in their early 20s.)

Guy #1: “Excuse me, miss, but we’re about to get kicked out of your store.”

Me: “For what?”

Guy #2: “Lightsaber fighting!”

(They turn to a Star Wars display, each take a lightsaber off the rack, and spend a second figuring out how to turn them on. Right away, I duck behind the registers and return with two open lightsabers we have behind the counter from returns.)

Me: “Here, try some without the packaging.”

Guy #1: “SWEET!”

(They activate the lightsabers and proceed to have a high-energy duel in the middle of the shop, to the amusement of my coworkers and the other customers. When one wins, they deactivate and hand the lightsabers back to me.)

Guy #2: “Best. Store. Ever.”

(They left without buying anything, but with huge smiles on their faces!)

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We Love To See You Smile

, , , | Right | March 21, 2016

(I am having a terrible day at work, and haven’t smiled once. I have just finished ringing up an older couple’s order.)

Me: “Have a good day.”

Older Customer: “Do you have any paper?”

(I give the customer some receipt paper. He gets a pen, quickly scribbles something on the paper, and hands it to me.)

Older Customer: “Everyone deserves to smile.”

(The customer then walked away. I looked at it and he had drawn me a flower. I still have it. :) )

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BOGO: Buy One Give One

, , , | Right | March 20, 2016

(I’ve been helping a customer who’s about to get a great deal because of a BOGO promotion in the store. She also has a coupon for a free item. Even I am impressed with the amount of products she’ll get for free. I’ve been helping her select lotions and fragrances on the floor.)

Customer: “Well, I have so much already. I don’t know what to pick out next. What would you recommend? What’s your favorite fragrance?”

(I show her my favorite fragrance and she adds a lotion to her bag before she heads to the register to check out. She comes back to me after she makes her purchases.)

Customer: “Thanks so much for your help today!”

(Surprisingly, she hands me a bag from our store with an item in it. Inside is my favorite lotion; she had used her coupon to treat me!)

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Getting His Just Desserts

, , , | Romantic Working | March 18, 2016

(I am on a first date with a guy I met online. We got on very well over email, but I am painfully shy around new people in person, and it’s causing some awkwardness. As we’re walking down the street, he spots an ice cream shop and offers to treat, so we go inside where a teenage employee is waiting on the only other customers: a polite elderly couple.)

Elderly Man: “Do you know what kind of sweetener is in the sugar-free vanilla? I’m on a new medication, and I’m not supposed to—”

Teenage Employee: *rolls his eyes* “No.”

Elderly Man: “Oh, dear. Well, could you possibly find out?”

Teenage Employee: “I mean, I dunno…” *deep sigh* “…like, Splenda or something.”

Elderly Woman: “Are you sure, dear? Because it could really hurt him if—”

Teenage Employee: “Listen, I told you, I DON’T KNOW! If you can’t have ice cream, then don’t get ice cream and stop wasting my time!”

Elderly Man: “Oh, I’m sorry…”

(The elderly man and his wife turned red immediately and start to back away from the counter, embarrassed. At this point, my date steps up and stops them, and then addresses the teenage employee at the counter.)

My Date: “Listen, it’s really no rush for us. If you could just find out what sweetener you use so these folks can get their ice cream, we don’t mind waiting.”

Teenage Employee: “Ohmygawd, stay out of it, sir!”

My Date: “I will not. It’s a simple question, you can certainly take the five seconds to see if someone knows. ”

Teenage Employee: “Oh my God! I already said I don’t know! ”

My Date: “Then find someone who does, or at least might. It’ll take five seconds.”

Teenage Employee: “IT WON’T TAKE FIVE SECONDS BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS AND THESE OLD FARTS ARE JUST WASTING EVERYBODY’S TIME!” *to the couple* “WHY DON’T YOU DO THE WORLD A FAVOR AND JUST DIE ALREADY!”

My Date: *quietly livid* “Get your manager. Now.”

Teenage Employee: “GAWD, whatever!”

(He storms off into the back, and my date turns to apologize profusely to the elderly couple. A few seconds later, the owner appears and my date calmly explains what has just happened.)

Owner: “Mr. Harper, is this true?”

Elderly Man: “Afraid so, Bobby. Margaret and I were going to leave and start going somewhere else, but this young man intervened.”

Owner: “Well, I’m sure glad he did! I’ll help you find something suitable, sir, complimentary of course.” *to my date* “These two are some of my best customers! I promise you, this will be dealt with. In the meantime, let me just help the Harpers real quick, but then whatever you want is on the house as well.”

My Date: “Oh, that’s not—”

Owner: “Please, I insist.”

(My date agrees, and then turns back to join me. Again, being painfully shy, I had watched the entire exchange silently, but my shock is pretty clear. My date laughs to ease the tension.)

My Date: “I swear, I didn’t do that just for free ice cream. I just hate when people disrespect their elders.”

(I ended up marrying him.)

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Friends In Unusual Places

, , , , | Friendly Working | March 18, 2016

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a parcel.”

Me: “May I have your tracking number, please?”

Customer: “My what?”

Me: “Your tracking number. All of our parcels have tracking numbers which the sender can give you if you do not have it.”

Customer: “Why don’t you have it?”

Me: “Because I didn’t send you the parcel.”

Customer: “So, who did then?”

Me: “Sir, do you not know who sent you the item?”

Customer: “No, but my neighbor just had something delivered and I want one too. So send me something now!”

(The caller then muffles the phone and I can hear what sounds like sobs.)

Me: “Sir, are you okay?”

Customer: “I’m so lonely and I just wanted to get a present!” *more sobbing* “I’m so lonely!”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “Never mind, I’ll go now…”

Me: “Sir… wait. We do have a parcel for you. I just need to confirm your address to send it to you. It will be there this afternoon!”

(After he gives me his address, I have a quick whip around the call center and we get a card signed by the team, put in a few chocolate bars with other happy bits and pieces, and send it to him. He calls the next day and thanks us all. Now, he rings once a week on average, and we are all happy to chat with him.)

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