(I work in a hotel in Bali, at one of its restaurants. I am assigned to be the host during breakfast time. It’s near closing time, and as always, there are a few Indian people that come in late. I am about to have my break when I have to handle this one particular guest. With guests that don’t speak English, I tend to use simpler — though grammatically faulty — English.)

Guest: *speaks in an Indian language, asking for a drink*

Me: “I’m sorry? Drink?”

Guest: *repeats what he said, making a grand gesture that looks like he’s chugging down a beverage*

(Hot milk comes with the breakfast package, but the guests have to request it.)

Me: “Milk?”

Guest: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, white or chocolate?”

Guest: “YES!”

Me: *pauses* “Sorry, white or chocolate?”

Guest: “YES!”

Me: “WHITE?!”

Guest: “YES!”

Me: “Okay, hot or cold?”

Guest: “Um, YES!”

Me: *speaks slowly* “Hot. Or. Cold?”

Guest: “YES!”

Me: “Hot plain milk it is, then.”

(I am more amused than anything. A little bit later, I see him by the salad bar pointing at a bottle.)

Guest: *says the word “drink” in his language again*

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, you can’t drink olive oil!”

(I have been trying to get a job for over a month, with over sixty job applications, several interviews, and no luck. Today, I have a scheduled interview with a manufacturing company for a data-entry job. I enter the interview room after I am called.)

Interviewer: “Mr. [My Name], yes?” *takes out my CV and starts reading it* “[My address], huh? What, daddy didn’t give you enough money?”

(I am livid. While we do live in a rich neighbourhood, my life is nowhere near what would be considered rich. The only reason we live there is that we bought the land when it was still cheap and a normal neighbourhood. My dad has been retired for over a year, as well, and I was barred from getting a job before I finished my first year of university. I snatch my CV from the jerk’s hand and go home. When I get home and check my phone, there are eight missed calls from the same company. Then another call comes in. I pick it up.)

Man: “Is this Mr. [My Name]?”

Me: “What do you want?”

Man: “I’m [Man], sir, and I’d like to apologize for what my ex-colleague has done. His behaviour was completely unacceptable. I can assure you he has been dealt with. Would you like to reschedule another interview?”

(I end up declining as the traffic in that area was rather rough, but I was glad that the jerk didn’t get away scot-free.)

This story is part of the Bad Interviews roundup!

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(I am in university in a town 30 kilometers away from home. The university is a famous one, and I managed to get into the Business & Economy faculty, which is one of the top faculties there. I am attending the second meeting for statistics class, at the beginning of our first semester.)

Professor: “All right, class, have you all brought a scientific calculator, as I asked last meeting?”

Class: *nods and sounds of agreement*

Professor: “Okay, does anyone here know how to use it?”

Me: *raises hand* “I do.”

Class: *silence*

(Confused, I look around and see that no one else has their hand up.)

Professor: “Just one this semester? Hmm. Well, why don’t you come here and show the others how to use it?”

(I go to the front, still confused.)

Me: “Okay, just to make sure, do you guys only know how to use the basic functions of it, or do none of you know how to use it at all?”

Class: *shakes head*

Me: “How about the calculator in your smartphones? Surely you’ve used that once or twice?”

Class: *more head shaking*

Me: “Then… how have you been doing math all this time?”

Classmate: “I usually just Google the answer.”

Class: *murmurs of agreement*

(I stand there in disbelief, long enough that the professor tells me to sit down and takes over teaching the class how to use calculators. Later, after class has ended:)

Me: “Sir, I still couldn’t believe that someone who got this far has never used a calculator.”

Professor: “It’s very common, from what I’ve seen. The most I’ve seen in a year was three students.”

(I lost the — admittedly small — amount of faith I had in humanity that day.)

(A few weeks ago, I received vouchers that can be used for ANY restaurants in a certain shopping mall. The vouchers have the mall’s official stamp, issue date, expiration date, and a seal, so it’s not a fraud. One day, I decide to use it in one of the restaurants.)

Cashier: “May I have your order?”

Me: *orders*

Cashier: “That will be [amount].”

Me: *pays using vouchers*

Cashier: “I’m sorry. We don’t accept that voucher.”

Me: “Look at the voucher first. It said that this voucher can be used at all the restaurants in this shopping mall.”

Cashier: “Sorry, but we don’t participate. See? Our restaurant name was not listed in the voucher.”

Me: “That’s because it’s stated clearly in the voucher that it can be used for all restaurants in this shopping mall! See? It even has the official stamp and seal of this shopping mall.”

Cashier: “Yeah, but—”

(She then tries to find any fault in my voucher.)

Cashier: “Ah, see? This voucher has expired.”

Me: “Uh, that’s the issue date! The expiration date is printed next to it, and it’s still good for three more months.”

Cashier: “Uh…”

(She then tries to read the terms and condition to find another fault. When she can’t find one, she calls for her shift leader.)

Shift Leader: “Hi, sir. I’m sorry, but we don’t accept that voucher.”

(I repeat the explanation above one more time to the shift leader, once again pointing out that this voucher was officially issued by the shopping mall and that it has an official stamp and seal. Finally, after several minutes arguing back and forth…)

Shift Leader: “Okay, sir, if you can wait, I’ll call the shopping mall first.”

(I wait while the shift leader takes the telephone and calls the shopping mall manager. I don’t hear the conversation, but I hear the shift leader asking him about how to redeem the voucher. At that moment, I know that I am right and the voucher can be used. Finally, he finishes his phone call.)

Shift Leader: “Our apology for the inconvenience, sir. We were not informed by either our own management or the shopping mall management about this voucher. But yeah, we can accept the voucher.”

Me: “Finally!”

(They finally accept the voucher. The cashier, however, still tries to make it difficult by complaining that she doesn’t know how to handle the voucher. Thankfully, the shift leader is still there and tells her how to handle it. After the payment process is finished, I wait for the food. But suddenly, the cashier bursts out:)

Cashier: “JUST SIT DOWN! THE FOOD WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOU! YOU’RE BLOCKING THE OTHER CUSTOMERS!”

(I could no longer hold my anger, and I began complaining furiously to that shift leader! The shift leader could only apologize over and over again, but the cashier just stood there in her station refusing to even look at us. I don’t think I will come back to this restaurant anymore, free voucher or not. It’s a shame, though; the food is actually good.)

(One of the major ISPs in Indonesia, who’s also the main telecommunications provider, is blocking Netflix since its expansion, due to Netflix’s refusal to share its revenue with the ISP. To compensate, they provide their own rip-off streaming services, but the service is really bad. One day I decide to stop my subscription, since they’re blocking Netflix, and also due to their really silly Internet filter. If we cancel our subscription, we could also lose our landline, and I don’t want to lose it, so I need to make sure.)

Me: “Hello, I want to cancel my subscription to your Internet service. But I have one question: would I lose my landline number?”

ISP: “All right, ma’am. Could you tell us the reason you’re ending your subscription?”

Me: “I can’t watch Netflix. You block them.”

ISP: “Sorry, but they’re not our product. To stream movies and TV series, we suggest [Rip-Off Streaming Service #1] and [Rip-Off Streaming Service #2]. Have you reconsidered?”

Me: “YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter are not your products, either, but I can still access them; why is that? Besides, your streaming service is really poor, and it crashes most of the time.”

ISP: “Netflix doesn’t cooperate with us, but the other sites have.”

Me: “So, you decided to just block them?”

ISP: “Netflix’s content is full of violence, so we decided not to cooperate with them.”

Me: “But [Rip-Off Streaming Service #1] and [Rip-Off Streaming Service #2] have also provided violent content in their service. To be fair, the responsibility of filtering content is the customer’s responsibility, and I’m capable of it.”

ISP: *ignoring my comment* “I’m sorry, ma’am. They’re not compliant to this country’s regulation.”

Me: “First you say it’s because they don’t cooperate with you, then you say that it’s because their content is violent, then you say that they’re not compliant with regulations? Which one is true?”

ISP: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we have [Rip-Off Streaming Service #1] and [Rip-Off Streaming Service #2] with quality movies; have you reconsidered?”

Me: “…”

(I guess I won’t mind losing my phone number, then.)