Resembling Your Way Of Thinking

, , , , | Right | January 12, 2019

I’m a medical resident. One of my consultants in the hospital, [Consultant #1], resembles me a lot in looks to the point that people keep asking me whether I’m related to her, which I am not. It comes to the point where I joke to my friends that whenever I don’t feel like making presentations and whatnot I could ask [Consultant #1] to replace me and no one would know the difference. It’s also worth noting that we residents have morning lectures every day, and during such lectures, consultants take turns acting as the coordinators every week, and if they’re not available, another consultant will replace them.

One day, the coordinator of the week, [Consultant #2], wasn’t there by the time the morning lectures usually start, and she didn’t answer any calls. My friend then went to find a replacement and met [Consultant #1], who was about to enter the conference room. They asked her whether she could become the coordinator that day.

According to my friend, upon hearing that she would have to act as the coordinator, [Consultant #1] immediately fled, saying, “No, no, just consider me [My Name]!”

I laughed my head off at that, and was glad to know that apparently [Consultant #1] had the same thought as me regarding our resemblances!

You Know You Have A Drinking Problem When Even The Olive Oil Looks Good

, , , | Right | November 25, 2018

(I work in a hotel in Bali, at one of its restaurants. I am assigned to be the host during breakfast time. It’s near closing time, and as always, there are a few Indian people that come in late. I am about to have my break when I have to handle this one particular guest. With guests that don’t speak English, I tend to use simpler — though grammatically faulty — English.)

Guest: *speaks in an Indian language, asking for a drink*

Me: “I’m sorry? Drink?”

Guest: *repeats what he said, making a grand gesture that looks like he’s chugging down a beverage*

(Hot milk comes with the breakfast package, but the guests have to request it.)

Me: “Milk?”

Guest: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, white or chocolate?”

Guest: “YES!”

Me: *pauses* “Sorry, white or chocolate?”

Guest: “YES!”

Me: “WHITE?!”

Guest: “YES!”

Me: “Okay, hot or cold?”

Guest: “Um, YES!”

Me: *speaks slowly* “Hot. Or. Cold?”

Guest: “YES!”

Me: “Hot plain milk it is, then.”

(I am more amused than anything. A little bit later, I see him by the salad bar pointing at a bottle.)

Guest: *says the word “drink” in his language again*

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, you can’t drink olive oil!”

Now Interviewing For A New Interviewer

, , , , , , | Working | November 20, 2018

(I have been trying to get a job for over a month, with over sixty job applications, several interviews, and no luck. Today, I have a scheduled interview with a manufacturing company for a data-entry job. I enter the interview room after I am called.)

Interviewer: “Mr. [My Name], yes?” *takes out my CV and starts reading it* “[My address], huh? What, daddy didn’t give you enough money?”

(I am livid. While we do live in a rich neighbourhood, my life is nowhere near what would be considered rich. The only reason we live there is that we bought the land when it was still cheap and a normal neighbourhood. My dad has been retired for over a year, as well, and I was barred from getting a job before I finished my first year of university. I snatch my CV from the jerk’s hand and go home. When I get home and check my phone, there are eight missed calls from the same company. Then another call comes in. I pick it up.)

Man: “Is this Mr. [My Name]?”

Me: “What do you want?”

Man: “I’m [Man], sir, and I’d like to apologize for what my ex-colleague has done. His behaviour was completely unacceptable. I can assure you he has been dealt with. Would you like to reschedule another interview?”

(I end up declining as the traffic in that area was rather rough, but I was glad that the jerk didn’t get away scot-free.)

Not Even Taking Calculated Risks

, , , , , | Learning | June 17, 2018

(I am in university in a town 30 kilometers away from home. The university is a famous one, and I managed to get into the Business & Economy faculty, which is one of the top faculties there. I am attending the second meeting for statistics class, at the beginning of our first semester.)

Professor: “All right, class, have you all brought a scientific calculator, as I asked last meeting?”

Class: *nods and sounds of agreement*

Professor: “Okay, does anyone here know how to use it?”

Me: *raises hand* “I do.”

Class: *silence*

(Confused, I look around and see that no one else has their hand up.)

Professor: “Just one this semester? Hmm. Well, why don’t you come here and show the others how to use it?”

(I go to the front, still confused.)

Me: “Okay, just to make sure, do you guys only know how to use the basic functions of it, or do none of you know how to use it at all?”

Class: *shakes head*

Me: “How about the calculator in your smartphones? Surely you’ve used that once or twice?”

Class: *more head shaking*

Me: “Then… how have you been doing math all this time?”

Classmate: “I usually just Google the answer.”

Class: *murmurs of agreement*

(I stand there in disbelief, long enough that the professor tells me to sit down and takes over teaching the class how to use calculators. Later, after class has ended:)

Me: “Sir, I still couldn’t believe that someone who got this far has never used a calculator.”

Professor: “It’s very common, from what I’ve seen. The most I’ve seen in a year was three students.”

(I lost the — admittedly small — amount of faith I had in humanity that day.)

Does Not Vouch For The Voucher

, , , , , | Working | May 1, 2018

(A few weeks ago, I received vouchers that can be used for ANY restaurants in a certain shopping mall. The vouchers have the mall’s official stamp, issue date, expiration date, and a seal, so it’s not a fraud. One day, I decide to use it in one of the restaurants.)

Cashier: “May I have your order?”

Me: *orders*

Cashier: “That will be [amount].”

Me: *pays using vouchers*

Cashier: “I’m sorry. We don’t accept that voucher.”

Me: “Look at the voucher first. It said that this voucher can be used at all the restaurants in this shopping mall.”

Cashier: “Sorry, but we don’t participate. See? Our restaurant name was not listed in the voucher.”

Me: “That’s because it’s stated clearly in the voucher that it can be used for all restaurants in this shopping mall! See? It even has the official stamp and seal of this shopping mall.”

Cashier: “Yeah, but—”

(She then tries to find any fault in my voucher.)

Cashier: “Ah, see? This voucher has expired.”

Me: “Uh, that’s the issue date! The expiration date is printed next to it, and it’s still good for three more months.”

Cashier: “Uh…”

(She then tries to read the terms and condition to find another fault. When she can’t find one, she calls for her shift leader.)

Shift Leader: “Hi, sir. I’m sorry, but we don’t accept that voucher.”

(I repeat the explanation above one more time to the shift leader, once again pointing out that this voucher was officially issued by the shopping mall and that it has an official stamp and seal. Finally, after several minutes arguing back and forth…)

Shift Leader: “Okay, sir, if you can wait, I’ll call the shopping mall first.”

(I wait while the shift leader takes the telephone and calls the shopping mall manager. I don’t hear the conversation, but I hear the shift leader asking him about how to redeem the voucher. At that moment, I know that I am right and the voucher can be used. Finally, he finishes his phone call.)

Shift Leader: “Our apology for the inconvenience, sir. We were not informed by either our own management or the shopping mall management about this voucher. But yeah, we can accept the voucher.”

Me: “Finally!”

(They finally accept the voucher. The cashier, however, still tries to make it difficult by complaining that she doesn’t know how to handle the voucher. Thankfully, the shift leader is still there and tells her how to handle it. After the payment process is finished, I wait for the food. But suddenly, the cashier bursts out:)

Cashier: “JUST SIT DOWN! THE FOOD WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOU! YOU’RE BLOCKING THE OTHER CUSTOMERS!”

(I could no longer hold my anger, and I began complaining furiously to that shift leader! The shift leader could only apologize over and over again, but the cashier just stood there in her station refusing to even look at us. I don’t think I will come back to this restaurant anymore, free voucher or not. It’s a shame, though; the food is actually good.)

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