“Ignore It Until It Goes Away” Doesn’t Work With Everything

, , , , | Healthy | June 17, 2021

I have mild chronic gastritis. I also have a slight deformation on my hip so I often feel pain in my lower back and hip. The pain I feel from those two conditions can be bad, but thankfully not often. I also have a high pain threshold because of them.

One day in late November, I started feeling discomfort in my stomach but I couldn’t really pinpoint where exactly. I disregarded it as just one of my two issues, so I started taking my usual medicine and kept an eye on my diet. The pain came and went for a full month. I didn’t really think about it since I was busy with a project and I had already bought a concert ticket. Project ended, concert attended, and the pain still lingered.

Finally, on New Year’s Eve, the pain was unbearable, so I told my sister who’s a doctor. She came by and did a quick check.

Sister: “Pack your bag, and I’ll call our parents to take you to the ER.”

It turned out that I had a swollen appendix. It was only hours away from rupturing. I ended up having to watch the New Year’s Eve fireworks through a hospital window, with an IV drip and some stitches on my tummy.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a reminder to never ignore any pain you feel in your body.

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Just Take Your Wrong Number And Go

, , , | Friendly | March 26, 2021

I am working at home with a lot of deadlines in hand. I use a mobile hotspot to connect to the Internet and my work relies on it. Whenever someone calls my phone, the hotspot connection turns off automatically, stopping me from doing work.

One day, I receive a call from an unknown caller. Thinking that it might be my client, I pick up.

Caller: “Hello, Mrs. [Other Name]?”

Me: “No, sorry. Who is this?”

Caller: “Do you have anyone in your house that goes by [Other Name]?”

Me: “No, I don’t, sorry. You’ve got the wrong number.”

As I am going to hang up, she stops me.

Caller: “Then who am I speaking to? What’s your name?”

Me: “I don’t see why you should know my name. I’ve told you, you’ve got the wrong number. I don’t know anyone by that name. Now please terminate the call; you are disturbing my work.”

Caller: “Why are you so upset that I want to know your information?”

Me: “Because I’m not your client whatsoever, and that is private information that I would not share with a stranger like you. You also did not answer when I asked you who you are, right?”

She continued to rant, so I terminated the call and tracked her number on an app to see who she was. Turns out, she was a debt collector for an online credit company. I still don’t understand why she needed my name, even though I clearly stated that she had gotten a wrong number.

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Fass Gas And Fass The Class

, , , , | Learning | March 25, 2021

I am teaching English as a second language for high-schoolers and adults. This happens in my Beginner’s 1 class. At the beginning of every term, I usually write down the parts of the syllabus on the whiteboard. I explain them one by one and ask whether anyone has any questions. One serious-looking adult student raises his hand.

Student: “Miss, what is ‘fart’?”

I’m surprised because I did not say anything about “fart” during my explanations, but I know he’s not trying to disrupt the class.

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Student: “What is ‘fart’?”

Me: “Why are you asking?”

Student: “You wrote it on the board.”

Me: “I did not write ‘fart’ on the board.”

Student: “Yes, you did.” *Points and reads* “‘Fart one, introduction. Fart two, fresent tense.’”

The rest of the class and I had to hold back laughter. It turns out that [Student] is fluent in Arabic, which made him develop a habit to say all Ps as Fs because there is no P sound in Arabic.

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Font Do That Again

, , , | Right | December 14, 2020

I’m working as a web developer for a client.

Client: “Hey, about the text… Can you make it slightly bigger?”

Me: “Of course, please wait a minute.”

I change the font size from 24 px to 32 px.

Client: “No, no, that’s too big. Make it smaller.”

Me: “All right.”

I change it to 28 px.

Client: “Still too big.”

I change it back to 24 px.

Client: “That’s it! That’s the right size!”

Me: *Inhales deeply*

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You Need Thick Skin To Deal With These Thick Skulls

, , , , , | Healthy | October 6, 2020

I’m the attending doctor at the ER. Earlier this morning, we treated a man who crashed his bike and got a pretty nasty bruise as well as a concussion. A CT scan showed a fractured bone so he’ll need surgery. He told us he’d be using insurance, so he “wants a full record of everything you guys find.”

Later that day, a woman comes into the ER and starts banging on our table.


Me: “Yes ma’am. I’m Doctor [My Name]. How can I he—”


As you can guess, everyone in the room stops whatever they’re doing.

Me: “Pardon?”


Me: “I don’t see how it’s— Why, yes, of course. What seems to be the matter?”

Woman: “Are you really? So why is it not stated in your uniform? Or your nametag?”

Me: “What does it have to do with [Patient], may I ask?”

Woman: “How dare you write in the report that my husband was not wearing a helmet?! I’ve just got a call from my insurance company that they’ll not pay the surgery because you wrote that he wasn’t wearing a helmet!

Nurse: “Well, ma’am, your husband did say he wanted a full report exactly because he wants to use insurance.”

Woman: *Turns to nurse*Well, b****, are you wearing a bra?! Now if he asks for a full report, why didn’t you also write in whether he’s wearing underwear or not? That’s not full report, is it, b****?

Me: “Because we’re writing down things that are medically relevant. The fact he’s not wearing a helmet is, because he came in with a—”

Woman:I don’t care! Now you’re gonna pay for his surgery because my insurance won’t pay! And it’s your fault!

Then she stormed out of the ER, but not before yelling loudly, “THE DOCTOR IS NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!”

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