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A Tale Of Two Stores

, , , , | Right | March 29, 2011

(I sometimes cover shifts in another store in our region. A customer had come in on one of my shifts at the other store. She was mad because we didn’t stock her size in a pair of pants and I had been unable to find another pair in our stock room. She now comes into my normal store the next day.)

Customer: “Do you have these pants in [size]?”

Me: “I can look it up in our system for you.”

Customer: “That’s what the girl at [other store] did. She was so rude and lazy!”

Me: “Was she?”

Customer: “Yes! She said she had them, and then couldn’t find them. She was a real cow.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, our system is often wrong. I did the best I could to find the pants for you the other day. I’m sorry that you feel that way.”

(The customer then realizes who she’s talking to. She is speechless.)

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t carry the pants in [size] in this particular store either. So sorry I couldn’t find them again.”

(The customer leaves without a word.)


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Cause And Defect

, , , , | Right | September 1, 2010

Guest: “How much for one of your hotel rooms?”

Me: *gives price*

Guest: “How about if I only pay [another price]?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t do that. We’re almost sold out and I can’t reduce room rates when we’re almost sold out.”

Guest: “Do you really think you’re going to sell this room anytime tonight?”

Me: “Yes, I will. I’m the only hotel in the area with rooms left and other hotels are sending their overflow guests to me. I’ll sell this room in the next half hour.”

Guest: “Oh, come on!”

Me: “Plus there’s a concert tonight and I’m getting a lot of concert goers coming in to get a room.”

Guest: “But the concert is over! I just came from the concert myself!”

Me: “And here you are!”

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Logic Board Illogic

, , , , | Right | August 14, 2010

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name].”

Caller: “I want to get my money back on a laptop I bought.”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Caller: “Nothing’s wrong. My mom won’t let me put Internet on my laptop, so I don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “I don’t give refunds. My warranty only covers breaks.”

Caller: “So, if I break it you will give me my money back?”


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Candid Camera, Candid Answer, Part 2

, , , | Right | June 25, 2010

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to swap the hard drive from this old laptop into my new one.”

Me: “Okay, not a problem.”

(I ring her up and start work on switching the hard drives. I notice on the old laptop there is a band-aid over the webcam. After finishing work on it, the lady grabs the band-aid from the old computer and puts it over the webcam on the new one.)

Customer: “I put that there so they can’t watch me.”


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It’s Spelled I-d-i-o-t

, , , , , , | Right | June 8, 2010

(A customer has asked me to spell the name of the city, Indianapolis.)

Me: “I-n-d..”

Customer: “I-m-b…”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, that was I-n-d…”

Customer: “I-n-b…”

Me: “That’s d, like dog.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay.”

Me: “Okay… you got that?”

Customer: “I got it.”

Me: “…i-a-n…”

Customer: “…i-a-m…”

Me: “That was an n, like Nancy.”

Customer: “I have I-m-b-i-n-d-o-k-i-a-m-n.”

Me: “Let’s start at the beginning.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay.”

Me: “I-n-d…”

Customer: “I-n-d?”

Me: “Yes. …i-a-n…”

Customer: “All right, now I have I-n-d-i-a-m-i-m-b-i-n-d-o-k-i-a-m-n – is that how you spell Minneapolis?”

Me: “No. It is not.”

Customer: “Must be all them funny Indian letters. Okay, I’ll send this to you. Goodbye.”


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