At our store, we have mannequins on very high shelves. Often, customers want clothes from the mannequins. That’s totally fine, but we have to drag out the ladder and climb up to the shelves, and dress the mannequins afterward. It’s a long and convoluted process, so it’s not done lightly.

Also worth noting is that the male mannequins are extremely ripped, for plastic headless dudes.

One very busy Saturday, I see one of the mannequins wearing a button-down shirt and shorts. I look up later and see that the button-down shirt has been undone and opened to show off its muscular plastic chest. As I go to break a few hours later, I see the mannequin has been stripped shirtless. This is weird, but it is summer and we do sell bathing suits and the like.

When I come back from break, the mannequin is completely naked.

To this day, I have no idea if a customer ninja-climbed up three times in a row to prank us, one of the newbies genuinely forgot they had to dress the mannequins again, or if our mannequins are alive and this one was a huge pervert.

I was waiting for my regular bus on a rainy day. On that day, the company sent out an extra bus in addition to the regular bus, and the extra arrived first. I was hesitant to get on it, because sometimes the extras don’t do the full route, and my stop was pretty far.

The driver really didn’t want to leave anyone standing there, though, and urged us all to get on. Every time we stopped, he did this spiel: “The regular bus is right behind me, but it might be full, so you should get on now, because I have plenty of room!”

Then, as he reached the halfway point of the route, at a stop filled with people, he refused to open the front door to let people in and suddenly announced, “Okay, I’m turning around! Everyone out!”

He never once indicated that he wasn’t doing the full route, he really pushed people to get on, even if they were reluctant, and then he just dumped us without any warning. The regular bus was not right behind him, and I had to walk another half mile in the rain and spend the rest of the day with jeans wet to the knee. I know I wasn’t the only one. Goodness knows why he harangued us all to board if he was just going to dump us halfway.

(I’m sitting at a friend’s house on a stormy Saturday night. There are usually several people around on the weekend, but no one else is out during the storm. We are sitting at the kitchen table, discussing how boring it is.)

Friend: “I wish it’d f****** stop raining.”

Me: “Yeah. What a crappy night.”

(Suddenly, my friend jumps up from the table and throws open the back door.)

Friend: *flips off the storm* “F*** you, Zeus!”

(Almost instantly, a lightning strike hits very close to the house and the thunder is almost deafening. My friend closes the door, turns around, white as a sheet, and sits back down.)

Me: “Don’t you ever do that again.”

(He and I both worked with electricity and electronics. After that, anytime something went wrong and created a spark, we said that Zeus was angry.)

(It is the days of landlines. I live in a small town that only has one telephone exchange: the three digits after the area code. Most people only give the last four digits of their phone number. I am a fan of unpublished numbers, to reduce the amount of solicitation calls. These are also the days before the Do-Not-Call List. For those who don’t know, an unpublished number costs more, because if someone calls information asking for John Doe’s phone number, all they will be told is “I have no listing”. An unlisted number is just not in “the book”, but information will still give it out. I’ve just paid to get an unpublished number, and what number do I get? 356-1411. To call information in this town, you dial JUST 1411. So, I immediately start getting calls like this.)

Me: “Hello.”

Caller: “I’d like [Name]’s number.”

Me: “Sorry, if you want information, don’t dial 356 first.”

Caller: “Oops, yeah. Sorry. Bye.”

(But I do get the occasional person who does this:)

Me: “Hello.”

Caller: “I’d like [Other Name]’s number.”

Me: “Sorry; if you want information, don’t dial 356 first.”

Caller: “I didn’t.”

Me: “Yes, you did, or you wouldn’t be talking to me; I’m NOT information.”

Caller: “I didn’t! Give me my d*** phone number!”

(I’d then hang up. This went on for several weeks before I contacted the phone company, asking for a different unpublished number; and without being charged for changing numbers again. They did so, and for free. But wow! Some people got rude so fast. It made me appreciate what those operators go through.)

(My friend and I are taking a summer class together. It’s one of the most basic ones in our major, and is a pretty small class, so the teacher is pretty laid back about it. We have the option to do the final on our own at home or during the final class, and he gives us free reign to help each other. About halfway through, the first person submits the test.)

Classmate: “Hey, guys… I just submitted the test and it’s showing me the correct answers.”

(We all stop working and look at the teacher.)

Teacher: *laughs and shrugs* “Go for it.”

(So, the classmate read off all the answers one by one. Easiest A ever!)