I’m the idiot of this story. I need a substantial job to pay my bills, so I start searching. One of my friends tells me I’d make a good realtor, so I find a free information night at a realtor office. There are about fifteen people there, ranging from eighteen to seventy-five years old.
I immediately get labeled “Class Bigmouth” when the speaker writes on the board that his “Pet Peav” [sic] is having phones not on silent. I jokingly tell him that my pet peeve is misspelling and show him the proper spelling on my phone.
The speaker then talks about business realty and buying land for businesses, and how sometimes the business wants a certain type of land, and a good realtor will persuade the owners to sell their property if need be.
My status as “Class Bigmouth” already confirmed, I pipe up with a joke about “putting on a monster costume and hoping Scooby-Doo doesn’t show up.”
There is an absolute dead silence at this as I awkwardly try to explain the premise of Scooby-Doo to everyone. Eventually, we move on and I very quickly decide that the realtor life is not for me.
(I work in a small family-owned business. I am working the register at the moment, but I hear a coworker’s conversation with a customer in the restaurant area.)
Coworker: “Hi. Is there anything I can get you?”
Customer: *looking at our menu* “Umm… yeah… umm… I want a BLT.”
Coworker: “All right. What kind of bread would you like that on?”
Customer: “Oh, I don’t want bread. And just make sure the bacon, lettuce, and tomato don’t touch.”
(My coworker looked dumbfounded as she asked this, but we gave her what she wanted. We served her her food, and she ate only the bacon.)
(We have the card readers that you can tap your card on, or use a peer-to-peer payment app from your smartphone.)
Customer: *noticing card reader* “Oh! Does [Payment App] work on this?”
Me: “It works most of the time.”
Customer: *successfully uses card reader* “Ooooh! That was amazing. It gave me the tingles. Was it good for you?”
Me: *moves back from counter* “Thanks for coming in. Have a great day.”
(I am in a department store, and I overhear this discussion between two twenty-somethings.)
Customer #1: “How big did you say the room is?”
Customer #2: “Ten feet by ten feet.”
Customer #1: “Okay! These boxes have ten square feet in them, so we can do the whole room with one box!”
This story is part of the Overheard roundup!
Read the next Overheard roundup story!
Read the Overheard roundup!
(I am on my lunch break and I walk across the street to the grocery store to get a sandwich from their deli. My work shirt is maroon, the same color the employees of this grocery store used to wear. Now they wear green. As I’m standing there deciding what to buy, another customer approaches me.)
Other Customer: “Is that the only bathroom you have? The one up front?”
Me: “Sorry, wha—”
Customer: “—because if it is that is ridiculous! You can’t just shut down your bathroom for cleaning if you don’t have another place for your customers to go!”
Me: “I… I’m sorry. I don’t work here.”
Customer: *looks at my shirt, sees the different logo and instantly changes her whole attitude* “Oh my! I am so sorry. I just saw your shirt and thought you did! My mistake!”
(She then turned around to go find someone else to yell at. As she did, several of the employees who had witnessed her yelling at me all scattered in different directions.)
