Asking Some Fresh Questions

, , , , | Healthy | April 16, 2018

(I have recently gotten pregnant with my first child, and am at my OB/GYN having an initial consult with a nurse practitioner who appears to be in her mid-50s. We are going over restrictions now that I’m pregnant. My family are avid fishermen, and my husband and I regularly eat the freshwater fish we catch.)

Nurse Practitioner: “Here’s a pamphlet on fish and seafood. Research has really helped recently, so there’s a comprehensive list of what types of fish are safe and which ones you should limit.”

Me: *looking over list, and noticing it’s only ocean fish* “Okay, but what about freshwater fish? Are there risks or restrictions on those?”

Nurse Practitioner: “It should be on the list; they have types listed there.”

Me: “No, I know, but these are all ocean fish: salmon, tuna, cod, etc. I’m talking about freshwater fish. My family and I catch and eat locally, and at our cabin in Minnesota:perch, bluegill, northern pike. Are those okay?”

Nurse Practitioner: “I’ve literally never had anyone ask me that.”

Me: “Really?”

Nurse Practitioner: “I guess I don’t get many patients who fish! I’d say it’d be okay to eat those as long as you ensure that they’re cooked thoroughly.”

(It surprised me that in a rural area, a nurse practitioner with that much experience wouldn’t have come across that before!)

When You Work For Them You’re Branded

, , , , | Working | April 9, 2018

(I get hired for [Popular Pharmacy Chain] and go through their training. It’s all through their computer system, with videos and quizzes. There’s a thirty-minute session on “branded greetings,” which explains how I have to say the same things during every transaction so customers always have a uniform experience at every store in the chain. I feel like a robot doing this, but I’m good at the spiel after about a week. Then, my manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “Why are you using branded greetings?”

Me: *thinking this is a test* “Um… so that  every customer gets the same treatment at every store and we deliver a uniform experience.”

Manager: “We haven’t used those in years. People said we sounded like robots, and corporate made us stop.”

Me: “Well, it’s still in the training.”

Manager: “Oh, well, you don’t have to do that anymore. I apparently have to update the training software.” *runs off*

Me: *facepalm*

Passes The Insurance Screen

, , , , | Learning | April 9, 2018

(I work for a computer repair internship at my high school; I fix the laptops that the school provides when something breaks. While the students do have “insurance” for a couple free fixes during the year, we don’t charge their insurance if no parts were replaced, for example, a loose connection.)

Student: *walks in with a smashed laptop screen* “So, I think the connection’s loose on the screen.”

Me: “Er… No, it looks like the screen is smashed. Don’t worry; it happens to everyone.”

Student: “So, my insurance isn’t going to be charged?”

Me: “No, it is going to be charged, since I have to replace the screen. But again, don’t worry; if this is your first time putting your laptop in for repair, you’ll still have another free fix if you break it again.”

Student: “But the connection’s loose! I know it!”

Me: “There’s glass falling out of your screen.”

Defective In Applying Defective Appliances

, , , , , | Working | April 6, 2018

(I’m at home awaiting pickup of a defective appliance for warranty replacement. There is construction on the main road to my house; I’ve made this clear to the pickup service, and provided alternate directions and my phone number in case the road is closed. It should have been picked up over half an hour ago. I call the service.)

Service: *puts me on hold and calls the driver* “The driver says he was there but you weren’t home. We’ll have to reschedule for tomorrow.”

Me: “I’ve been here all morning. No one has been here. I’m certain of this; the dog would have gone nuts if someone rang or knocked. I took off work for this pickup.”

Service: “I’ll contact the driver and see if he’s still in the area.”

(A few minutes later, my phone rings…)

Driver: “I can’t get to your house. We’ll have to reschedule for tomorrow.”

Me: “Where are you? I can give you directions.”

(He’s at a truck stop three minutes from my house. I give the directions. They aren’t simple — five extra turns — but should be within the abilities of a professional driver.)

Driver: “I can’t do that. We’ll have to reschedule.”

Me: “Wait there. I’ll be there in three minutes.”

(He ended up following me to my house. I had to supply my own dolly to get the appliance to his truck and help him load it. I was so happy that the defective appliance was gone that I didn’t question him about the obvious lie that he’d already been to my house.)

Didn’t Ace Their Behavioral Test

, , , , , | Learning | April 3, 2018

(I am a student in a language arts class. There is a substitute teacher today. While she is taking attendance:)

Teacher: “[My Name]?”

(I raise my hand.)

Teacher: *short pause* “Did you know your last name is [My Last Name]?”

Me: *confused by her suggestion that I might not know my last name* “Um… Yes?”

(She then stops class for several minutes to explain how important my last name is. Apparently, some random guy with a similar last name wrote a book that she likes. After this, class actually starts moving forward. The class has just finished reading Romeo and Juliet a few days ago, and today we read a short story called Pyramus and Thisbe, which is also about two forbidden lovers who killed themselves. The substitute teacher constantly stops the class to gush about how romantic the whole thing is. Both characters died near a mulberry bush, and after we finish:)

Teacher: “Now I want to get married near a mulberry bush. I wonder if there are any mulberry bushes in [Town]?”

(By this point, I think it’s safe to assume that just about everyone in the class is getting annoyed by this. One person in particular, who is never afraid to state her opinion, decides to say something.)

Other Student: “I don’t really care.”

Teacher: “Hold on! I did not just hear you say you don’t care? Why don’t you care?”

Other Student: “Because love is disgusting.”

Teacher: “What?! How is love disgusting?”

Other Student: “Anything intimate is just gross to me.”

(The substitute teacher then assumes that the student has come from an abusive household, or that she has mental health issues, or some such bullcrap. Being asexual myself, I decide to speak up.)

Me: “So, now it’s a crime to not be interested in love?”

Teacher: “Don’t tell me. You’re not interested in love, either?”

Me: “Nope.”

(The substitute teacher assumed that I was going through mental health issues, as well. She went on for several minutes about how we were both going to become hermits with no social skills, and not have any friends or contacts. I’ve heard of homophobia before, but I didn’t know there were people who thought asexuality was a sin. Between that and her obsession with my last name, I was glad to get out of that class with that substitute teacher.)

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