The Gift Of Bringing Mother Along

, , , , , | Right | July 3, 2018

(I work as a cashier at a popular hardware store. It can be pretty boring, but I still enjoy it, and I enjoy talking with customers. I have just finished scanning items for a woman who came with her mother and her daughter. She goes through her purse for a way to pay for her purchases.)

Customer: “I think I have a card in here somewhere.”

Customer’s Mom: “What are you looking for?”

Customer: “A gift card. I have a gift card I want to use.”

Customer’s Mom: “Why? Are your other cards maxed out?”

Customer: *her jaw drops* “MOM!”

(She found the gift card, and after using it up, she paid with a credit card that was, fortunately, not maxed out.)

No So Street(sign) Smart

, , , , , , , | Legal | June 28, 2018

(My husband works for a volunteer organization that builds homes for people in need. They have a lot of problems with a neighbor who doesn’t want any of their trucks parked — legally — on the public street in front of his house. Despite the fact that he has a long driveway and a garage, he has somehow found a way to put up “No Parking” signs on his side of the street AND the opposite side of the street.)

Volunteer: “Wow, that was a long walk! I had to park all the way down the block and walk here.”

Husband: “Yeah… The neighbor across the street put up these ‘No Parking’ signs, so we are trying to work around it, even though we have to lug all of this construction equipment down the street.”

Volunteer: “Seriously?” *she inspects a sign, and makes a quick phone call* “These are not regulation signs.”

Husband: “What?”

Volunteer: “I work for the county office. The city has to put those up, and there is no record a ‘No Parking’ sign on this street.”

(She then proceeds to call the non-emergency police phone number, and by lunch an officer comes by to write him a ticket and to take the signs down.)

Neighbor: “I don’t want to look at those f****** trucks all day! You can’t make me take my signs down!”

Officer: “Sir, you can either take the signs down, or I can take them down and take you to the station.”

(Eventually, the neighbor took the signs down, glaring at the volunteers the whole time. I feel sorry for the family that will eventually have to put up with this guy!)

Going To An Adult Store Doesn’t Mean They Behave Like Adults

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2018

(I work in an adult store, and in order to enter, you have to be at least 18 years old. A group of customers have just started walking into the store when I notice one of them has a baby with her.)

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t bring your baby in here. Anybody that comes in has to be at least 18 years old.”

Customer #1: *with a blank stare* “You have got to be s***ting me!”

(The customers agree that one of the women in the group will buy what she needs, then go outside and watch the baby so the mother can come back in. About ten minutes later, the mother comes back in without her baby. Note, it is ten pm at night and dark out.)

Customer #2: “Where is the baby?”

Customer #1: “Oh, she fell asleep, so I left her in the car.”

Customer #2: “Did you at least lock the doors?”

Customer #1: “Oh, that might be a good idea!” *runs to the door and uses the automatic locks to lock the car*

Me: *stands there with a shocked expression not sure what to do*

(Thankfully, they all did their shopping pretty fast and were out of the store within a few minutes. I still can’t believe that first she tried to bring her kid into an adult store… and then left the baby unattended, at night, in the car!)

Unfiltered Story #112855

, , | | Unfiltered | May 26, 2018

(I am cleaning the front end at the start of my shift while my manager and a coworker are figuring out who we have for the departments. My coworker is reading off names and my manager is seeing where we can place them. For the most part I have been quiet… then gets to this name.

Coworker: Alexa, who’s Alexa

Me: (poking my head through the wall gap) She’s with Amazon.

I then get back to work while my manager stairs in confusion and my coworker cracks up laughing.

Peppered Eyes Peppered With Lies

, , , , , , | | Working | May 24, 2018

(This happens to my friend who works at a popular sandwich shop during high school. A customer in her mid- to late-50s walks in.)

Friend: “Hello, ma’am! Welcome to [Sandwich Shop]. What can I get for you today?”  

(The customer slowly walks up to the counter and stares blankly at my friend, not saying a word.)  

Friend: “Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?”  

Customer: *snaps awake and cheery* “Yes. Could I please get the Italian hero with a medium drink and cookies?”  

Friend: “Absolutely!”  

(My friend then proceeds to do the usual game of twenty questions when getting a sandwich done at these shops, and things are going smoothly up until she gets to the vegetable portion.)  

Friend: “What veggies will you be having on this today?”  

Customer: “Oh, I’m not sure. Could I have a look at the lettuce and spinach over the divider to see if it’s wilted, please?”

(The customer tries to give puppy dog eyes. My friend thinks this is odd, but she doesn’t to be rude and refuse, so she holds the container over the divider so the customer can see.)  

Customer: *moans* “Oh, yes, yes. Please give me a big handful of both. Could I also see the jalapeños?”

(The customer attempts to give puppy dog eyes again. Just wanting to get this order done with fast, my friend obliges her and holds the container over the divider. The customer smiles, and then immediately digs her hand into the container and squishes a handful of jalapeños on her face. She begins to scream bloody murder.)  

Customer: “OH, MY GOD, I’M BLIND! YOU STUPID B****, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME! MANAGER! MANAGER! SOMEONE GET ME A MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”

(She continues to scream until the manager comes rushing out from the office.)

Manager: *to my friend* “WHAT HAPPENED?” *grabs first-aid kit and stuff to help clean up the customer*

Friend: *still in shock* “I… I’m not sure. She just… And smacked it… Like, on herself…” *keeps staring in shock*  

Customer: “THIS B**** THREW PEPPERS AT ME AND HAS BEEN RUDELY YELLING AT ME SINCE I CAME IN! I CAN’T BELI—” *gets cut off by the manager*  

Manager: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go talk in my office to get this whole thing resolved.” *to another coworker in the backroom* “Go take [Friend] into the break room and cover the register, please.” *quietly to my friend* “I’ll be back there in a bit. Go relax until I get this sorted.”

(My friend waited for around ten minutes before the manager came back to get her. Apparently, once the manager got the customer’s details down he asked her if she could show him where in the video my friend had thrown the peppers, and she got nervous and ran out, saying that wouldn’t be necessary. My friend got sent home with a free sandwich to cool off and calm down after everything that happened. Later that week, they all found out that woman had been going around town to the different locations trying to get free stuff and people fired.)

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