It’s A (S)No Day

, , , , | Learning | February 23, 2018

(School was cancelled due to a snow day, so I have been called into work by my boss to open. My first customer of the day walks in and we are having polite conversation about the weather and snow day.)

Customer: “Yeah, they cancelled [Local School] today.”

Me: “Yeah, they cancelled [My School] as well.”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “I’m 17.”

Customer: *looking 100 percent baffled* “You’re only 17, and you have kids in high school?”

Me: *long pause* “No.”

Blind To Reason, Part 7

, , , , , , | Working | February 22, 2018

(I’ve been badly near-sighted since childhood and have worn glasses or contact lenses nearly all my life. My driver’s license states that I’m required to wear them to drive. I am wearing contacts when I have my driver’s license picture taken. Four years later, I’m in the Bureau of Motor Vehicles office to renew my license, but now I’m wearing glasses. It’s time to take the eye test.)

BMV Employee: “You need to take off your glasses.”

Me: “Why? I need them to see.”

BMV Employee: “You’re not wearing them in this picture.”

Me: “That’s because I was wearing contacts then. Now, I wear glasses.”

BMV Employee: “You need to take them off.”

Me: “I need them to see.”

BMV Employee: “You’re not wearing glasses in this picture. Take them off.”

Me: “I didn’t wear glasses then. Now, I do. Check my driver’s license. It has a restriction for glasses or contacts.”

BMV Employee: “You need to take your glasses off.”

Me: “I need them to see.”

BMV Employee: *very snippy* “If you want to get your license renewed today, you need to take your glasses off.”

Me: *knowing what’s about to happen* “Okay.”

BMV Employee: “Read line five on the chart.”

Me: “I can’t even see line five.”

BMV Employee: “Okay, read line four.”

Me: “I can’t see line four.”

BMV Employee: “Read line three.”

Me: “I can’t see that, either.”

BMV Employee: *disgusted* “What can you see?”

Me: “Nothing. Just a blur.”

BMV Employee: *sarcastic, like this is all my fault and I’m the stupid one here* “Well, maybe you should put your glasses on!”

Me: “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

Blind To Reason, Part 6
Blind To Reason, Part 5
Blind To Reason, Part 4

Just Plain Crazy

, , , | Right | February 21, 2018

(My manager rings up a lady who wants just a “plain coffee,” but wants to make it flavored, which is not a plain coffee, but whatever. She wants a lot of room for cream, so I get the cream out for her. We always close the creamer container, so when she tries pouring it out three times and none comes out, I help her open the container. She then turns the creamer upside down and it comes out really fast. Funny how gravity works, right?)

Customer: “You made me pour too much creamer into my coffee. It’s your fault; you opened it too much! You need to add more coffee!”

Me: “Okay, not a problem!”

(I add more coffee to the cup.)

Customer: “Ugh, so much for plain coffee.”

Unfiltered Story #105930

, | Unfiltered | February 20, 2018

We are shopping and get to the cheese section. A worker is unobtrusively stocking it. He sees us and practically scrambles to get away and apologizes to us. I look at him?

Me: What are apologizing for? You’re just doing your job.

Worker: I was in your way.

Me: I’m not going to get mad at you for doing your job. Do people really complain about that?

Worker: All the time. You’d be surprised how often.

Me: Pardon me for saying it, but those people are jackasses.

Worker: You said it, not me.

Me: Well, I’m glad you’re doing your work. Hope nobody gives you grief today.

Worker: Oh, they will. They will.

A Temporal Pair-Of-Socks

, , , | Right | February 20, 2018

(I work at an inexpensive chain clothing store. The return policy is fairly standard: 30 days with a receipt. It is a slow weekday morning so I am the only cashier. A well-dressed woman with an expensive-looking purse comes in and walks up to the register.)

Customer: “I have a return.” *starts to dig in her purse*

Me: “Okay, would you like to exchange it for something else, or just return it?”

Customer: “Just return them. I was cleaning out my husband’s closet and found them. There’s no receipt.”

(She shows me a pair of hideous maroon and olive tube socks. The packaging is still intact but doesn’t look like any brand packaging I’ve ever seen at the store, so I know it must be really old.)

Me: “Um, okay.”

(I scan the socks, and the computer burps out an angry error message.)

Me: “I’m sorry. The computer isn’t even registering these as an item we sell; I can’t return them.”

(My manager has been hanging out nearby. She stays quiet but walks up behind me and starts writing something down.)

Customer: “But they came from here. Look at the tag!”

(I turn my computer screen so she can see it and I scan the socks again.)

Me: “See? The system won’t let me do anything. These socks definitely weren’t sold in the last 30 days.”

Customer: “Okay, I guess it was worth a shot.”

(Really? A single pair of old socks was worth your time? And my time? Keep in mind she doesn’t seem to be the type that’s strapped for cash. Several minutes after the customer leaves, my manager returns to the registers with a smirk on her face.)

Manager: “I just looked up that item number. Those socks were sold in 1997. For $1.89.”

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