A Total Lefty

, , , , , | | Working | May 19, 2018

(I slip at work and nearly fall, leaving me in a weird posture against a machine.)

Supervisor: “Are you all right?”

Me: *looking at my feet* “I’m not sure; I think they’re both lefts.”

It’s Bean A Weird Day

, , , , | | Right | May 18, 2018

(I am working my typical shift at the local corner store after I have gotten off from school. It is a slower day, and all seven of our employees are standing around the register area. It’s our typical dinner rush time when a very loud customer walks in. We have one of our regulars sitting at the counter eating A woman walks in.)

Manager: *smiling* “Hello!”

Woman: “WELL, HOWDY THERE!” *walks up to the register* “DO Y’ALL HAPPEN TO HAVE A BATHROOM I COULD USE?”

(As we are out in the country, we are a popular stop for many travelers that don’t have much consideration for other people’s’ property. As a result, we have had many incidents that involve having to clean up unsightly messes. We’ve ended up having to restrict public bathroom access.)

Manager: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t have a public restroom.”

Woman: “OH, LAWDY! DARLING, WHERE’S THE CLOSEST BATHROOM STOP?!”

Manager: *pointing up the highway* “There’s a town about ten minutes that way. There’s plenty of places up there, ma’am.”

Woman: “OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D HAVE DONE IF I HADN’T BEEN ABLE TO FIND A RESTROOM! I JUST GONE AND ATE MYSELF A WHOLE CAN OF REFRIED BEANS!” *sprints out the door*

Hope For Humanity Is The Best Medicine

, , , , | | Hopeless | May 17, 2018

We were at a big box store with a pharmacy to get my best friend’s stepmother’s long-acting insulin shot refilled, because she was completely out. She’s a type-1 brittle diabetic, so it’s a definite necessity for her on top of mealtime shots. We found out we didn’t have enough funds for the long-acting insulin, so the stepmother became very upset — with reason, since it was more than it should have been. So, after she calmed down and decided to risk it, the stepmother and I went looking for our few staple foods we needed to complete that night’s dinner, while my best friend’s dad went to try to overdraft to pay for the prescription.

About ten minutes later, we saw him walking towards us, teary-eyed, and we asked what happened. He told us that the kind pharmacist saw that his card was declined, and handed a pharmacy tech his debit card to pay for the prescription. He offered to pay the pharmacist back in two weeks, and the pharmacist refused. My friend’s stepmother and I immediately teared up. I asked if she wanted to go and thank him personally. We went and thanked him, and offered again to pay him back. He adamantly refused again, stating that it was no problem.

Sometimes, you find good people still exist out there, even in very unlikely places. I’ll never forget what he did, and I hope one day to pay it forward for somebody else.

Maybe Best This Guy Doesn’t Breed, Anyway

, , , , | Right | May 11, 2018

(I work at a retail chain as my first job. One day a young man comes in and puts a one-dollar pregnancy test on my counter.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this.”

Me: *looking at the test laying on my counter, out of the box* “Um… What’s wrong?”

Customer: “It didn’t work. I want another one.”

Me: “It didn’t work?”

Customer: “Yeah, my girlfriend used it. It didn’t work.”

(I called the manager, who seemed just as shocked as me that the man had laid a used pregnancy test on our counter, but he let the young man exchange it for another one. I poked the used thing into a trash can with a piece of cardboard and scrubbed at the counter for some time.)

The New Jurassic Park Is Now In Indianapolis

, , , , | Right | April 30, 2018

(I work in a zoo. We offer free dolphin show tickets for the guests, and many times we run out. On this day, a customer comes up to my ticket booth.)

Guest: “Are there any more dolphin show tickets left?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no.”

Guest: “Oh, that’s okay. What about the raptor show?”

Me: “Um, I don’t think we have those shows anymore.”

(Considering raptors have been extinct for quite some time…)

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