(I work as a server in a chain restaurant. I get a table of two in my section. I go to greet them, pouring their waters as I do.)

Me: “Hello there! My name is [My Name] and I’ll be taking care of you today! Can I get either of you two something to drink? We have lemonade, iced tea, and Pepsi products.”

(I see that the woman is looking through our wine list, so I go to mention at least one beer and wine. Gotta upsell, after all.)

Me: “We do have a full bar — five draft beers along with a variety of wines. Are you interested in any of them?”

Woman: “Oh, yes! I’d like a glass of [red wine], please.”

Me: “Of course! Can I see your ID?”

(In Indiana, it is state law to ask for someone’s ID for alcoholic purchases so long as they look like they’re younger than 40.)

Woman: *seems presently surprised by my question* “Oh, of course!”

(I take her ID. First, I check her birthdate, which shows that she is older than 21. Next, I look at the license’s expiration date… which is four months expired.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, but I cannot sell you [wine], as this ID is expired.”

Woman: *annoyed* “Wait, are you serious?”

Me: “I’m afraid so. It would be illegal for me to sell you anything alcoholic with an expired ID, as it is not a valid form of identification.”

Woman: *is most definitely trying to guilt-trip me now* “But… I’ve been looking forward to having a glass of red all day…”

(I just sort of stand there, not sure how to respond to this. I’m not going to risk both my job and a hefty fine to order this woman a glass of wine.)

Me: “I’m… sorry, miss. Can I get you anything else?”

Woman: “No.”

(Before this, the couple was really friendly. After, they became really cold and distant with me, like it was my fault that this woman hadn’t updated her driver’s license. I continued giving them good service, though also space since they very obviously did not want me around. When they left, they ended up only tipping me about 5%. Standard is 15, quickly moving to 20%. I guess I’m lucky they gave me anything at all.)

(I work as a clerk at a small-town newspaper. Two mornings a week, I fill in at the circulation desk, taking calls from people who have questions about or problems with their paper delivery.)

Customer: “My paper has stopped being delivered!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m seeing on your account that your paper has expired.”

Customer: “I didn’t get a bill.”

Me: “Your account says that we mailed you one on [date]. I’m sorry if you didn’t receive it.”

(The customer makes a big deal about not getting any bill, how was she supposed to know that she had to pay, etc. I apologize a few more times for her not receiving a bill, but there’s nothing I can do about that.)

Me: *trying to get a word in edgewise* “I can take a payment over the phone with debit or credit card if you’d like to start receiving your paper again tomorrow.”

Customer: “No, no, I always pay cash! Everything always by cash!”

Me: “Okay, well, you’ll have to come in to the office, then.”

Customer: “You mean the only way I can get the paper is if I pay for it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s the way it works.”

Customer: “That’s some s***!” *hangs up*

(My dad, sister, and I are watching football on TV. One of my dad’s pet peeves is when a sportscaster describes someone as a “really physical player.”)

Dad: “A ‘physical player’? What else is he supposed to be, a chemical player?!”

Sister: “Well, if he throws a Hail Mary pass, he could be a spiritual player!”

I recently transferred stores. One of my new coworkers is constantly upset about something. She’s surly and angry all the time and no one ever wants to work with her.

One day, I was clocking in at the same time she was. I saw that, like always, she had her “angry face” on. 

Like always, I thought, “What are you mad about today?” Today, however, I ended up saying it out loud.

I froze and started apologizing. But she looked like her birthday had just come early. She told me about something her boyfriend was supposed to do and didn’t and how he let her down. I could see how that could ruin a person’s day and told her so.

To my surprise, she was much less surly for her shift. I’m not going to pretend she turned into Little Miss Sunshine, but she was actually bearable to be around. 

I decided to try my luck the next time we worked together and asked what she was mad about again. This time it was her mom on her case about flunking some homework. I made the appropriate “that stinks” noises and went about my day. And again, she was much more pleasant to work with. 

This became our routine – I ask her what she’s mad about, she vents about it, and all is well. We’ll never be the bestest of best buds, but I’ve stopped dreading working with her.

I work at a gas station. One night, as I was working an 18-hour day, a guy came in at about 6:00 pm saying he had a date and wanted some condoms and a male enhancement pill. I sold it; no big deal.

At about 2:00 am, when I was about to leave, the same guy came back asking for a refund because it was my fault he didn’t get lucky. My coworker walked away just laughing at me.

What a long day!