This happened about thirty years ago when our children were toddlers. My husband was an E5 in the Air Force and I was a stay-at-home mom, so money was tight, to say the least. My mother-in-law was coming to visit for the first time since my father-in-law had passed, and we wanted her to have a nice time, so we squeezed the budget relentlessly for months to have some extra funds while she was here.

[Mother-In-Law]’s lifelong friend was a snowbird with a winter place in Port Richey about an hour away, and we invited her to dinner so the “girls” could catch up. Dinner went well, and as beverages were enjoyed, [Friend] crashed on our couch. 

The next morning over breakfast, we made plans to visit Coquina Beach to search for shark teeth. This sounded great to [Friend], and she decided to join us. We covered all expenses, including lunch at a nice restaurant on the pier. By the time we got home, cleaned up, and enjoyed the stew I had left in the crock-pot, we were tired, and [Friend] crashed on our couch.

The next morning over breakfast, we were making plans to go to the Dali Museum in Saint Petersburg. This sounded wonderful to [Friend] so she accompanied us. We covered entry fees and lunch at a nice restaurant.

Rinse and repeat for nine days. [Friend] never offered to buy groceries or pick up a tab. We had worked hard to be prepared for one extra person; having two was devastating our budget. 

On the morning of the ninth day, I asked [Friend] if she thought she would be here for dinner as the roast I had planned was not adequate. [Friend] was furious and offended that I would say such a thing to my mother-in-law’s oldest friend. She stormed out. 

She never spoke to me again.

My father-in-law remarried when his sons were adults, and the sons refused to call his new wife their stepmother. I always wondered why they disliked her so much because she was very cordial the two or three times I had met her thus far.

During Christmas, the family came together. My brother-in-law was about to become a second-time father and proudly announced:

Brother-In-Law: “Yesterday, we received the news: it’s going to be a girl this time!”

We all rejoiced, except for [Father-In-Law]’s wife.

Father-In-Law’s Wife: “A girl? Are you sure? The doctor must be mistaken.”

Brother-In-Law: “I’d like to think this woman knows what she is talking about.”

Father-In-Law’s Wife: “Impossible. Men in our family only have sons!”

Our family? You married into this one!

My Husband: “Eh… what about Aunt [Father-In-Law’s Sister]?”

Father-In-Law’s Wife: “Just a fluke. And she looks like a man, anyway. So, mark my words, it’s going to be a boy! Otherwise, you should get a paternity test.”

Everyone stared at each other, lost for words. In hindsight, [Brother-In-Law] should have gotten up and left, or someone should have spoken up, but we were just too stunned to do or say anything. 

[Father-In-Law] passed away a few months after his last grandchild’s birth — she was indeed a girl — and it seems only I can remain civil to her, so I am her main source of contact concerning the testament and will. I completely understand why my husband’s family doesn’t want to talk to her at all.

My husband found out the other day from his sister that several of his siblings had presented their parents with a memorial plaque for their anniversary. My husband was never asked to contribute, which is unusual for this group; typically everyone is asked to pass the hat.

He asked [Sister-In-Law] how much the plaque cost and said that he wanted to contribute to it after the fact. This is when [Sister-In-Law] started getting cagey, dodging the question, and finally telling my husband to “pay it forward.”

Husband: “‘Pay it forward’ is for drive-thrus. How much did the plaque cost?”

Again, she refused to say. She finally told him:

Sister-In-Law: “Just pay me $25 to $30.”

Husband: “No, I’ll determine what my share is after knowing the final amount.”

Again, she refused to answer, insisting that he should pay her $25 to $30 to “pay it forward”.

I contacted another in-law of mine, who is married to my husband’s brother, and told her the situation. She asked her husband and found out that [Sister-In-Law] had nothing to do with the plaque and hadn’t spent any money on it at all. Another sibling had bought the plaque without any outside contribution.

So, basically, [Sister-In-Law] had seized the opportunity to try to grift off my husband.

[Sister-In-Law] is an anti-vaxxer, so in response, my husband made a donation in her name to a pro-vaccine charity and sent her a text to let her know exactly how he’d “paid it forward”. She’s now also signed up for multiple vaccine charity mailing lists.

My husband, my brother-in-law, a few of their friends, and I decide to go a concert at the Amphitheater. The tickets to see three bands on the lawn are like $25 each with free parking. It starts at 6:30 pm, and my brother-in-law decides to show up late since he doesn’t like the first band. 

My husband and I decide to get there on time and get food beforehand; while we don’t care about the first band, either, we can park and take our time. They don’t end up coming on until 7:00 pm, and they play for roughly forty-five minutes. Then, there is another forty-five-minute break for set up for the second band.

Halfway through the break, my husband texts his brother to see where he is. He replies that he is just leaving. To only his surprise, he hits Phoenix rush hour traffic and doesn’t end up making it until halfway into the hour-long second set. I assume all is fine.

Afterward, he starts b****ing about how bad traffic was and how the parking attendants didn’t seem to know what they were doing and there wasn’t enough parking, so he had to park in the back. Whatever. It is a problem of his own making, so I roll my eyes and ignore him.

My gracious husband points out that at least he saw two really good bands. Oh, no! That sets him off on another tangent about how bad the sound quality is and how the main band kept messing up. (The singer just had throat surgery and couldn’t scream at a couple of parts but was otherwise really good, all things considered. The only complaint I had was them figuring out his mic level for the first couple of songs.) 

He then whines about how the drinks were “as much as the tickets”. (They were $12-19 and appropriately priced for the amount of liquor in them — really, prices you would expect at a restaurant.) The kicker is that he is supposed to be the designated driver among his friends, so why he cares about what the drinks cost, I will never know. He whines about how crowded it was. He whines about literally everything. You would think the band killed his entire family and s*** on their corpses with the way he is complaining.

Eventually, my husband and I just leave in mid-tantrum. I am not even sure he notices.

To this day, I am convinced he is still in that parking lot b****ing.

My brother-in-law has stereotypical youngest child syndrome and, as such, thinks everyone else should pay for his necessities so he can spend his money on “fun” things. It does not matter that he makes more than either of his siblings or parents by a few ten thousand; he should be pampered. 

We invite both of my husband’s siblings to go out of town with us to my family’s cabin. The only catch is that they have to drive themselves. As the pretty, pretty princess, this means he will passengerize while she drives the three-hour trek. 

He also currently needs a root canal, which leads to this exchange. 

Husband: “[Brother-in-Law] wants to know if we will be paying for gas for them to get up there since we are having them drive themselves.”

Me: *Suspicious* “So, he wants to split the bills, then? I can figure out how much all the food is going to cost since our cars get the same gas mileage and we are technically traveling farther. There are no housing costs since it is well water and solar.”

Husband: “Uhhh… Well, he was hoping we would pay for their gas…”

Me: “Fair enough. [Sister] makes minimum wage and has to take time off for this so we can pay for her gas. I will Cash App her.”

Husband: “He wants it to go to him.”

Me: *Raises eyebrow* “Does she owe him money or something?”

My husband shrugs.

Me: “How about we give her cash, and she can give it to him if she wants?”

Husband: “Why?”

Me: “Because when we went to [City], we paid for everything but one breakfast, and afterward he said we should figure out ‘who owes who what’ like he didn’t owe us hundreds of dollars and then insisted on calling it even when I presented the bill.”

Husband: “…”

Me: “Because he convinced you that you owed him $500 for your dad’s Christmas gift — which was two times the cost of the actual gift.”

Husband: “…”

Me: “Because your brother currently needs a root canal, and somehow, gas money will be a couple hundred as a result.”

Husband: *Pauses* “I will talk directly to [Sister] about if she wants us to pay her gas money.”

The absolute nerve of that little rat.