(My mother-in-law has popped by for a visit and to drop off some things. I’m not in the best mood and she notices.)

Mother-In-Law: “Is [My Name] okay? She’s usually much more bubbly and talkative.”

Wife: “It’s… been a rough few weeks.”

Mother-In-Law: “Yeah, the holidays can be rough. At least they’re over now.”

(My wife and I share a look.)

Me: “Not just the holidays, though those were a huge part of it. We had to kick [Ex-Roommate] out over the weekend. They had money problems earlier in the year but they were keeping the house clean, so it was fine for a while, but then they stopped doing that, too.”

Wife: “And they for some reason really had a problem with [My Name] but every time we tried to talk to them about it, they just got hostile and angry. We even have screenshots to prove it.”

(Reads a few messages off.)

Mother-In-Law: “Geez, I’d be in a bad mood after all that, too.”

Me: “Oh, there’s more.”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, no.”

Wife: “Apparently some important health insurance forms never got mailed to us, so [My Name] doesn’t have health insurance for a few weeks while that gets sorted, so we can’t refill her meds. Or go to that specialist next week that we had to fight all year to finally get a referral for.”

Me: “And we were so broke over the holidays we could only afford to give each other a single gift this year, and nothing for anyone else, which my family got mad about. I managed to find two nice things on clearance for [Wife] that were under budget together, but one of them was defective and the other package was stolen off the porch. Since they were both clearance items, no returns, refunds, or exchanges.”

Wife: “And one of the problems we had with [Ex-Roommate] is that [My Name] made them a hat for their birthday and when she gave it to them, [Ex-Roommate]’s response was ‘where would I ever go to wear this?!’ and left it when they moved out. [Ex-Roommate] is also going around telling their friends that we’re horrible people for kicking them out right after their birthday, even though we let them live here for free for three months.”

Mother-In-Law: “I thought [Ex-Roommate] had a second job now?”

Wife: “Yeah, that’s why we got firm about rent. We told them they had to start paying us rent again since they could afford it now and the next day they showed up with a truck and hauled their stuff to their parents’ place. On top of all that, you know about the issues I’m having with my work managers, so I’m looking for another job but nothing is hiring. All this has happened within the last week-and-a-half, so neither of us are in the best of moods right now.”

Mother-In-Law: “Well, YEAH, you guys have had a h*** of a time. I wouldn’t be in a good mood either after all that. Geez, what else could happen?”

Me: *thin smile* “Yesterday I got summoned for Jury Duty.”

(My mother-in-law must have sensed I was at my wit’s end because she canceled her plans so she could take us out to dinner instead. Much to my embarrassment, her offer made me burst into tears and we had to wait for me to calm down to go. I’m so glad the holidays are over!)

(I am visiting my boyfriend’s house before we visit my family for the Christmas holidays.)

Boyfriend’s Mum: “So, how old are you?”

Me: “23.”

Boyfriend’s Mum: “And how old will you be at your next birthday?”

Boyfriend’s Dad & Sister: “24, probably.”

(A number I don’t recognize calls my phone multiple times a day but doesn’t leave a message. The next time they call, I answer.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, I’m [Caller] calling on a recorded line. May I speak with [Mother-In-Law]?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: *defeated* “I’m sorry to bother you. Your number is in our database as a potential connection. Do you know [Mother-In-Law]?”

Me: “Yes, she’s my mother-in-law.”

Caller: *perks up* “Oh! Um, if you could please verify, I have [phone number] for her contact information. Is that correct?”

Me: “Yes, that’s her number.”

Caller: “Thank you. I’ll remove your name as a contact. Thank you for answering. We’ve been calling all the possible connections listed and no one else has answered except [My Husband] a few minutes ago.”

Me: “That’s my husband, yeah. Did you say we’re listed as contacts for her?”

Caller: “Well, when collection agencies can’t get ahold of the person in question, we have to branch out and look for potential relatives, someone who might be able to shed some light on why we can’t reach the person we want.”

Me: *laughing* “Oh, wait. You’re a collections agency? That’s why. She probably knows your number and is ignoring you.”

Caller: “Yeah, that happens a lot. Could you let her know we’re trying to get in touch with her?”

Me: “I can try, but no promises she’ll do it.”

Caller: “That’s all I ask. Well, I’ll let you go. Thank you again for your help. I promise we won’t call you again.”

Me: “No problem. Good luck!”

(A few days later I received a call from my mother-in-law.)

Me: “Hello?”

Mother-In-Law: “Why the h*** did you tell that collector my number?”

Me: “I didn’t.”

Mother-In-Law: “Well, they said they talked to you!

Me: “Yeah, they did, because you haven’t been answering.”

Mother-In-Law: “That’s none of your business! You’ve embarrassed me!”

Me: “I didn’t do anything. But you’re right: it is none of my business. I shouldn’t have collectors calling me to try to get ahold of you. That is your business and your problem.”

Mother-In-Law: “I’ve half a mind to make you pay these bills since you decided to give them my number.”

Me: “I didn’t give it to them and I’m not paying your bills. If you don’t want collectors calling, set up a payment plan or find a way to pay your bills on time.”

Mother-In-Law: *screeching* “THIS IS YOUR FAULT!”

Me: *hangs up*

(She ignores me whenever we’re together now. I don’t really mind that much.)

(My husband’s family does not believe in breastfeeding a baby beyond the first couple of weeks. I am determined to breastfeed for at least the first six months. We are visiting my husband’s parents and I have taken our one-month-old daughter into a bedroom to feed her. I hear my husband’s brother arrive and greet my husband.)

Brother: “Are you alone? Where’s [My Name]?”

Husband: “No, she’s in the bedroom, feeding [Daughter].”

Brother: *loudly* “Is she still feeding [Daughter]?”

Husband: “It’s not like [Daughter] can get her own food yet.”

Brother: “That’s not what I meant.”

Husband: “So, what exactly did you mean? That [My Name] has no right to feed her baby the most natural way there is?”

Brother: “Point taken.”

(That was the last time I heard anything more about my choice of feeding my children.)

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(When my parents first get married, my dad is keen to be accommodating with his new in-laws. The first time he stays over with them, my nana accidentally breaks the yolk on one of the fried eggs for breakfast.)

Dad: “Don’t worry; I don’t mind having a broken yolk.”

(Somehow, my nana interpreted this as him liking his yolks to be broken. Forty-two years of marriage later, and every fried egg she has ever served him has had a broken yolk. My dad doesn’t have the heart to tell her.)