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Change Begins On The Home Front

, , | Right | March 10, 2008

(I work at a Landscaping Supply company. Selling dirt, rock, compost, etc. I work in the office, answering phones and helping people work out how much material they need for their jobs. A lady came in and filled up a few small containers with cobble-rocks and wanted to know how much she owed, so I went outside to look at her
product.)

Me: “Hmm. Looks like three cubic feet. We’ll go inside and ring you up!” *starts walking back inside*

Lady: *doesn’t move*

Me: *stops by the door* “Is there something else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Lady: “Well. I watched on the Discovery Channel that men are better with visual volume than women. So if you can get one of the guys to look at my materials, I’d appreciate it.”

(At this point I’m absolutely floored. I am a victim of a lot of sexism with my line of work, but from ANOTHER WOMAN? Give me a break! Forget that I’ve been doing this for five years and approved by the county with a huge certificate on the back wall of the office, lady!)

Me: “Sure. Give me one moment.” *steps inside, pulls one of the random boys aside* “Can you look at this lady’s load?”

Male Coworker: “…didn’t you look at it?”

Me: “Apparently because I have boobs I can’t tell visual volume, so can you just make her happy?”

Male Coworker: “Sure, how much did you say?”

Me: “Three cubic feet.”

Male Coworker: “Thanks.”

(Basically, he goes out there and tells her the same exact thing. She comes in, and doesn’t even apologize for causing the trouble, pays for the material and pikes out without another word).

 

The Art Of Ambiguity

, , | Right | March 5, 2008

(A man drops two packs of briefs on the counter).

Me: “Even exchange, sir?”

Man: *indignantly* “I need the right size!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Man: “They’re the wrong size!”

Me: “Which ones aren’t the right size?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Me: “…So you’re returning these?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

(At a loss, I call my coworker over).

Coworker: *looks at the packages* “Even exchange?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Coworker: “So you’re returning both?”

Man: “Read what it says there.” points at one of the packs*

Me: “Um… Big Men’s Briefs? Size 2X?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Coworker: “What size do you need, sir?”

Man: “44 to 46!”

Coworker: *checks pack* “That’s what this IS!”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Coworker: “Then you have to go find it. We don’t have it up here.”

Man, bellowing: “This is BULLS***! F*****’ A**HOLE!”

(Everyone in line falls dead silent).

Me: “So… you are returning these, then?”

Man: “I need the right size!”

Me: “Okay–”

Man: “These don’t fit me! I need briefs that fit! I’m a big guy!”

(We finally figure out that the briefs in the bag weren’t the size marked on the package).

Coworker: “Well, you’ll have to go find another pair, then.”

Man: “YOU go find another pair!”

Coworker: “We can’t do that! Go check the aisle!”

Man: “I did already! There aren’t any!”

Coworker: “THEN YOU’LL HAVE TO GO TO ANOTHER STORE!”

Man: “YOU call another store! Find them for me!”

Coworker: *turns to me* “Call another store.”

Me: “I… um… okay, sir, you can sit down over there and we’ll call to you when we find them.”

Man: “Speak up, I can’t understand a word–”

Me: “SIT DOWN AND WE’LL CALL YOU!”

(Our manager walks by. He comes over and gets the guy to agree to just return the briefs).

Manager: “Do you have a receipt?”

Man: “No!”

Manager: “Okay, do you want the money back as store credit or on your charge card?”

Man: “What? Just give me the money!”

Manager: “That’s what I’m trying to do. Store credit or–”

Man: “WHAT? JUST GIVE ME BACK THE MONEY!”

Manager: “Store credit it is.”

Customer To The Rescue

, , , , | Right | March 4, 2008

(I am currently working in the electronics section of a discount superstore when I am approached by a customer, which is surprising since the state is being hit by a significantly large ice storm.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like to pick up my pictures.”

Me: “Hmm… it seems they aren’t in yet. When did you send them out?”

Customer #1: *very angry* “They were supposed to be in today!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the lab where they are processed is hours away and it’s too dangerous for the drivers to be out on the roads today.”

Customer #1: “Well, I made it. How come they can’t?”

Me: “Sir, you live on the street behind the building, which is a much shorter and safer distance compared to the over 120 miles the driver would have to drive, especially on roads that even emergency vehicles won’t go onto.”

Customer #1: “I was told my pictures were going to be back today, and I want them today!”

(I’m about to apologize to the man but am beaten to the punch by the customer behind him…)

Customer #2: “Yeah! You guys should have dog sleds on the side just in case.”

Customer #1: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

Customer #2: *in a very apologetic tone* “I’m sorry, I thought it was my turn to make insane demands.”

Customer #1: *storms off talking to the air about how rude people are*

Customer #2: “That was fun!” *walks away*

(Unfortunately, I never got to thank that second customer. Wherever you are, [Customer #2], thank you.)


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Magical Little Computers

, , | Right | March 4, 2008

Caller: “Yes, I would like a room for tonight.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry. We are completely sold out.”

Caller: “Really!? I can’t believe that.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We truly do not have any rooms to sell.”

Caller: “Can I be put on a waiting list?”

Me: “No, we do not do waiting lists.”

Caller: “Who has rooms, then?”

Me: “I would try [Hotel #1] and [Hotel #2]. They may still have rooms available.”

Caller: “You mean, you don’t know?”

Me: “Um… no. I’m sorry I do not.”

Caller: “Well, book me a room at one of those, then!”

Me: “Yeah… there is no way for me to do that. I can give you their phone numbers, though.”

Caller: “Why can’t you just book them for me? Use your fingers at your little computer and get me a room!”

Socrates Meets The Elevator

, , | Right | March 4, 2008

Customer: “Is there an elevator to the theatre?”

Me: “Yes, directly across from me.”

(The customer walks to the front of elevator and starts yelling…)

Customer: “How does this thing work?!”

Me: “Press the button, and when the doors open, get in and press floor number 2.”

Customer: “No, how does this thing work?”

Me: “Do you mean the physics behind elevators? This brand of elevator… or something more specific?”

Customer: “No, how does it work with me?”

(My phone was ringing and I had to go answer it in a different room. I wandered off. Ten minutes later, the customer was still arguing with the elevator. I left for lunch… a very long lunch.)