I work in retail at a costume store. Halloween is coming up soon so we’ve had a few more people come in and out than usual. A customer walks into the store and up to the counter.

Me: “Yes, can I help you?”

The customer says nothing and starts looking at the costume racks around the store, before coming back up to me.

Me: “Yes?”

The customer holds up some stickers.

Customer: “I want you to slap these on the costumes.”

Me: “Uh, why?”

Customer: “Because these costumes are quite racist and offensive! Appropriating a proud people’s culture into a joke!”

Me: “I’m sorry but I can’t do that; in fact, you aren’t allowed to put those stickers on yourself.”

Customer: “So you don’t care about racism?”

Me: “No, I care a lot; it’s just that some people won’t like to find a costume that’s labelled as racist. They won’t buy it, and I’ll get in trouble if I let you stick the stickers on, sorry.”

Customer: “If you care about racism, why not help me?”

Me: “Because like I said, I’d like to help deal with racism, but I can’t do it here.”

Customer: “Well, clearly, you are just an over-privileged racist!”

They turned around and strutted out. I swear, though, as soon as they got out, they met up with a friend and I think they started laughing. I haven’t seen them the past few days so maybe it was their attempt at a practical joke.

My wife and I decide to browse a local chain craft store for Halloween decor inspiration. Being a few days until the spooky holiday and children at heart we opt to wear novelty T-shirts with velcroed-on capes.

We know this store very well and purposefully stride towards the back where clearance is stocked. A man stops me by stepping in front of me blocking my path.

Male Customer: “Do you guys have any mahogany. You know, wood?”

Me: “This chain doesn’t carry furniture parts and exotic woods are scant, but try the far side of frames. They usually have an end cap of small boards and the like.”

Male Customer: “You aren’t going to take me?”

Me: “I… guess? I don’t work here.”

The man immediately changes his body language and apologizes.

Male Customer: “You don’t? Oh, man, I’m sorry. Yesterday the staff was all dressed up.”

Me: “They don’t even pay me to look this fabulous!”

Later that same shopping trip, a woman approaches me shyly:

Female Customer: “Do you know where Halloween googly eyes would be?”

Me: “I don’t work here, but I happen to know where the normal googly eyes are. The Halloween section is pretty sparse.”

I take the woman to the googly eye area.

Me: “Take a little black acrylic paint and add slanted eyelids to make these look sinister!”

Female Customer: “Hmm, I really wanted pre-done ones. You don’t have anything else?”

Me: “I don’t think they do, sorry. Have a good one!”

I leave and continue to browse, thinking nothing of the encounter. About ten minutes later, I hear the same woman hollering, “HEY!” on loop in my direction. Curious, I glance over her way and she waves frantically.

Female Customer: “What’s your name?!”

Me: *Confused pause* “[My Name].”

Female Customer: “Well, [My Name], I found them!”

She triumphantly holds up two bags, one of eyeball bouncy balls, the other of googly eye novelty rings. She points to a chaotic, destroyed display.

Female Customer: “They were here. So you know when the next customer asks.” 

I can practically see the gears turn in her head when this advice isn’t met with enthusiastic cheers.

Female Customer: “Wait. You. You don’t work here do you?”

Me: “It’s okay. Glad you found them.”

The customer turned a few shades of pink before scampering towards the registers.

The best bit was when I was telling my wife about my unintended seasonal job and asked where she was during the exchange. She’d been commandeered by yet another needy customer to explain the different brush types to a confused mother and teen daughter who had called the manager over to compliment her customer service skills. While I was being berated for my lack of seasonal product knowledge, she was in the midst of getting a raise!

I’m a cashier in a craft store that also sells a lot of seasonal and home decor. Since it’s fall, we have a LOT of pumpkins. Because we sell so many, we have some pumpkins on higher shelves, as we’ve been instructed by corporate, so we have room to display everything. Customers who want to buy one of the pumpkins that are higher up have to ask an employee for help, and a stock man will get a ladder.

As I am checking out customers, I hear a customer in my coworker’s line ask to see a manager after he finishes checking her out. The customer service manager on duty steps in to talk to her.

Customer: “You need to change the layout of your store; those pumpkins are too high up! I’ve been to your store in [Major City], [Another Major City], and [Yet Another Major City] trying to buy these pumpkins, and in every store, they are too high and I have to wait for someone to get them for me!”

Manager: “Well, ma’am, our layout is given to us by corporate; there isn’t much we can do.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to wait to get my pumpkins! If you want to sell them, you should put them down lower! I’m never buying these pumpkins again!”

I’m still not sure what she expected us to do! Change the layout of every store in the country so she wouldn’t have to wait three minutes for someone with a ladder?

I am running the register on a very slow day when a customer approaches with two baskets of three-ounce cans of cat food. She dumps both baskets on the conveyor belt.

Me: “Hi there. Do you have a [Store] membership?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Would you like to sign up? It’s free and—”

Customer: “No!”

She rolls her eyes.

Me: “Okay.”

I look at the cans on the conveyor belt.

Me: “Are these organized in any particular way? I can enter them in groups if—”

Customer: “No! Jesus f****** Christ, just check me out!”

Me: “Okay, then.”

I only get through a few cans before the woman slams her hand down on the scanner.

Customer: “Stop! These are supposed to be forty-six cents each! Why are they coming up at fifty-one cents?”

Me: “Oh. Let me see what’s going on.”

I think I know what the problem is, but I decide to do a price inquiry anyway just so that the customer can see why the cans aren’t ringing up as she thinks they should. The reduced price is a membership perk.

Me: “The cans are forty-six cents with our free membership; otherwise, they’re fifty-one cents. I can still enroll you if you’d like the membership price.”

Customer: “I am not signing up for your stupid program.”

Me: “Okay.”

I continue scanning. The customer starts slapping the card reader with her checkbook.

Customer: “Stop! Stop, stop, stop!”

I stop and take a breath before speaking.

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “I just told you those cans were forty-six cents!”

Me: “With the—”

Customer: “Fix it!”

Me: “They are forty-six cents with the membership you’ve declined twice.”

Customer: “Why do I have to be a member to get the cheaper price? This is stealing!”

Me: “You must be a member to get the membership price.”

Customer: “Can’t you just pretend I have the membership? This is ridiculous!”

Me: *With thinly-veiled annoyance* “That would be fraud. These cans are fifty-one cents each unless you sign up. Do you want them or should I cancel the purchase?”

Customer: “Fine!”

I continue scanning the cans, ignoring her stream of complaints. Finally, all the cans — about a hundred — are scanned in.

Me: “Okay. Your total is $51.”

Customer: “I did the math while you were robbing me blind. It should be $46 because the cans are forty-six cents.”

I just say nothing.

Customer: “Well?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “Aren’t you going to offer me some kind of compensation for wasting my time?”

Me: “Such as?”

Customer: “Such as giving me the cans for the right price!”

Me: “They are the right price.”

Customer: “Well, you took too long scanning them all!”

Me: “If they were organized, I could have entered them by the UPC, but they weren’t.”

Customer: “Isn’t that your job?”

Me: “My job is to make sure no product leaves this store without being scanned and paid for.”

Customer: “You’ve just lost a customer. I hope you’re happy.”

Me: *Politely smiling* “Will that be cash or card?”

Customer: *Glaring at me* “Card.”

The payment went through and her mile-long receipt was printed.

Me: “All right. You have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: “Burn in Hell.” *Storms out*

Related:
Not A Member And Maybe That’s A Good Thing

I work at a pool during the summers. I am at the top of the water slides telling kids when to go down. One kid comes up, but he’s too short so I can’t let him go down (Waterslide’s company rules, not pool’s). He comes back with his mom:

Mom: “Hey, so my kid isn’t understanding that he can’t go down the slide.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, he’s too short, so I can’t let him go down.”

I point to a sign that had a height line. She tries to arrange him against the sign trying to make him taller, still not being tall enough.

Mom: “Okay, well he can swim; can’t he go down?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but he can’t.”

Mom: “Well it’s his birthday.”

Me: “Sorry, he still can’t.”

I see her getting frustrated so I ask if she would like to talk to my manager about it.

Mom: “No, but you’ll be hearing from my attorney. What’s your name?”

I give her my first name only, but also at the time I was a minor. This was all in front of a big line of people. Finally, she left and I continued with my job. When I get on break I tell my manager what happened. He thought the whole situation was stupid and that I did well not letting the kid go down the slides. In the end, we didn’t hear anything from an attorney.