Customer: “Hi, do you sell big pencil cases, like A4 format?”

A4 is a paper size that’s 21cm by 29.7cm.

Me: “Uh, no, I’m sorry. But we have regular pencil cases.”

He leaves but later comes back to me.

Customer: “I need to show you something.”

I walk with him and he points at a toiletry bag.

Customer: “This is a big pencil case, right?”

Me: “Sir, that is a toiletry bag.”

Customer: “So? It’s the same thing. You could’ve recommended it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know the whole product range.”

He walked away, very mad.

Related:
Not The Sharpest Pencil In The Pack

I’m being helped at the customer service desk when the store phone rings. I hear the associate’s side of the conversation. It’s worth noting that the store is having a major promotion and the line at the service desk is quite long.

Associate: “Hello, thank you for calling your [Town] [Store] today. How can I help you?”

The associate pauses while the customer speaks.

Associate: “I’m sorry. I don’t have a phone book here, so I wouldn’t be able to look up a number in another city.”

There’s another pause.

Associate: “No, our registers can’t get on the Internet. And we really don’t—”

The associate is cut off by the customer.

Associate: “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

There’s a pause.

Associate: “No, like I said, I don’t have a phone book. You could call directory assistance.”

One more pause.

Associate: “Again, I’m sorry. I can’t help you. Goodbye.”

Me: “Weird question?”

Associate: “He wanted me to look up a phone number for a person in Baraboo. Just a random person. I have no idea why he thought we could do that.”

It’s New Year’s and we’re kicking out customers after a manic event — it’s 6:30 am by this point — where the club reached capacity, approximately 4000 people. We’re all exhausted and quite frankly looking forward to our staff party after work for working New Year and New Year’s Day, so we’re trying to get everyone out quickly so I’ve been asked to help in the cloakroom.

Customer: “I’ve lost my ticket. Can you look for my coat for me?”

The majority of the customers still need to leave; she’s one of the first I serve.

Me: “Sorry, but I’m afraid it’s club policy that if you’ve lost your ticket you have to wait till the end for us to find your coat.”

Customer: “It’s not f****** difficult. I’ll tell you what it looks like and you can get it.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but as I said before, I can’t get your coat until the end unless you have a ticket.”

Customer: “Listen here, you f****** b****. Just look for my f****** coat. It’s black.”

Me: “There are about 2000 black coats back there. I’m not looking for yours until the end or until you have the ticket.”

Customer: “Why the f*** not?”

Me: “Firstly, I’m not allowed to. Secondly, that’s the biggest waste of time.”

Customer: “F*** you, you little c***. You’re going to find me my f****** coat.”

She continues to shout and call me names for about five minutes before I can say anything.

Me: “I’m not finding your coat. Now go to the back of the line and wait.”

Customer: “I have f****** work at nine o’clock; I don’t have time to be waiting around.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you should have thought of that before you decided to go clubbing until six in the morning.”

Customer: “Stupid b****, get me your f****** manager.”

Me: “I can tell you now that she will tell you exactly the same.”

The manager had observed this whole incident and went to speak to her. The customer continued to swear and called me and the manager a bunch of obscene names. This went on for about ten minutes until the manager told her, quite forcefully, that if she was not going to wait, she could go home and call back when she was sober. The customer sulked off to the back of the queue, calling me a b****, etc., under her breath. It took so much for me not to lose my temper with her.

I’m a senior sales assistant. I come up to the counter to check on the new girl who seems to be held up with a middle-aged customer. The customer is miffed. She wants our “best customer” badge that gets them 10% off full-priced items, but you have to buy something on a near-weekly basis to maintain it.

Colleague #1: “Your total, ma’am, is 380$.”

Customer: “What about my discount?”

Colleague #1: “Sorry, but none of these items are on sale apart from the yellow dress.”

Customer: “But I’m a ‘best customer’! I get a discount!”

[Colleague #2], who is a senior, steps in.

Colleague #2: “Of course, ma’am. Let’s just look up your account; it will tell us if you get the discount.”

Customer: “Of course I get the discount! I shop here and I had it before!”

Colleague #2: “Actually, sorry, ma’am, but you aren’t a ‘best customer’. You don’t have the stamp on your account.”

Customer: “You’re wrong! I had it before! You don’t know anything! Get someone who knows what they’re talking about!”

Colleague #2: “Ma’am, the system updates each month. If you haven’t come in in the past two weeks, you’ll have lost your badge.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You don’t know anything! I know I have the badge and you’re simply withholding my discount!”

Finally, my manager turns up. Both colleagues are frustrated and dejected by now.

Manager: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I want my discount!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but only the dress is on sale, ma’am.”

Customer: “No! I want my ‘best customer’ discount! I shop here plenty! I had it before but they’re withholding it!”

Manager: “Well, let’s just see what’s going on, shall we?”

I look up the account history and contact our call centre.

Manager: “Well, you did have it previously, but, unfortunately, you lost it due to inactivity. Sorry.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! How active do I need to be?!”

Manager: “Well, the last time you bought something from us was three years ago, and we renew our ‘best customer’ accounts monthly, so I’d say just a tad more.”

I work at a call center for an airline. A passenger calls, already upset, because a third-party booking site charged her infant for an adult ticket. I agree that this is wrong and she should call the ones who issued the ticket to refund that ticket and rebook. 

Caller: “Well, you’re the airline. Why can’t you do it?”

Me: “The third-party has your money and they are the ones in control of your reservation. The only information we have in our system are the flight details, but we can’t even see how much you paid for the ticket. It is them that made the error, but they are perfectly equipped to handle this situation so they can help you with no problem!”

Caller: “I waited on hold with you guys for half an hour and you won’t even help me!”

Me: “If I could, I would refund it for you, especially since you are calling within the same day as booking your ticket. Unfortunately, though, you bought the ticket through a third-party and, as I said, they have your money, not us.”

Caller: *Outraged* “You guys make this mistake and then won’t even help me! I’m never flying with you again!”