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Without Reason

, , , , , | Working | April 7, 2018

(One of the perks of my workplace is that we can ship out personal packages on the company account for savings that they pay back, within reason. Unfortunately, some people don’t quite have the same understanding of “within reason” as others do.)

Coworker: “Hey, can I bring a few boxes around later for you guys to ship?”

Me: “Sure, we’ll just need the full addresses and phone numbers they’re going to. Do you need any packing material?”

Coworker: “Nope, they’re all set; just need labels, thanks!”

(An hour later, a car backs up to the shipping dock door. It’s [Coworker], who opens the trunk to reveal it’s FULL of boxes.)

Me: “Uh…”

Coworker: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “You said, ‘a couple.’ There have to be dozens in there.”

Coworker: “Fifty on the dot! Here’s the list!”

(He tries to hand me multiple sheets of paper. They’re awkwardly stapled together down the side like a book, and it’s all handwritten, extremely sloppily.)

Me: “You know we have to do each one of these manually through the [Carrier] software, right? Could you maybe put this in an email to make sure we get it all down right?”

Coworker: “No, don’t worry; this is fine.”

Me: *trying not to outright call him on his poor penmanship* “Well, it’s still going to take a while. When do you need this done by?”

Coworker: “They need to be delivered tomorrow.”

Me:Tomorrow?! Wait, you come by at five o’clock, to give us fifty boxes you want sent out overnight?! All to different addresses, on a sheet I can’t read right?! NO!”

Coworker: “But you guys are supposed to do this!”

Me: “Yes, when it’s reasonable. This is not. If you got it to us first thing this morning, yeah, we could have done it, but the truck’s going to be here any minute now, and there’s no way we can get this done.”

Coworker: “Well, that’s just rude! I’m complaining to your boss about this!”

Me: “Yeah, have fun with trying to get him to side with you wanting us to stop doing our actual work at the end of the day to cater to you.”

(The kicker? He actually DID try to complain to my boss, who told him the same thing: actual orders come first, and there was no way we were creating 50 shipping labels in five minutes with a single computer and printer. On a hunch, we sent a joint email to the Human Resources representative, not to complain about the coworker, but in case they tried to complain about either of us. Sure enough, my boss ended up hearing how we were supposedly “excessively rude,” “abrasive,” and “racist” to him. That last one was exceptionally funny, as all three of us are white!)


Please Do Not Microwave The Babies

, , , , | Right | April 7, 2018

(We have stuffed animals filled with “beans” on display at the register. I am ringing up one customer when he picks one up. He starts to massage it almost aggressively, then sniffs it, before putting it back down.)

Customer: “Do you microwave these?”

(I am so taken aback, I assume I have misheard him and that he must have said “manufacture.”)

Me: “Um, no. We just sell them.”

Customer: “I have some bean bags at home; I microwave them and put them on my shoulders to help with pain. Can I do that with these?”

Me: “No, these are kids’ toys. They would probably get burnt.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thank you.”

Internalizing The Problems With The Workforce

, , , , | Working | April 6, 2018

I had just graduated university and was hunting for my first job, exclusively for entry-level positions and internships. On every online job platform, I selected the “entry-level position” filter. Most of these advertisements even had “entry-level” in their title. I believe many companies do not understand the concept. I would inevitably stumble on positions with a combination of — if not all — these requirements:

  • Minimum one to two years experience
  • Must have [very specific degree not required for low-level administrative work]
  • Must speak German, French, English, and Spanish/Italian/Dutch, etc. fluently
  • Must be willing to work overtime and irregular schedule
  • Must be currently enrolled at university or recent graduate with experience
  • Unpaid

I finally found an internship without crazy requirements, but have always wondered if these companies found their amazing quadrilingual recent graduates with experience who’d be willing to work for free (most internships in Switzerland are paid). Interns do valid work and deserve to be compensated.

Lost The Corded Connection To The Refund

, , , , | Right | April 6, 2018

(I work at a local video game store, where we buy and sell used games and electronic accessories. Every item in our store comes with a 30-day same-item exchange warranty to insure the customer always gets a working product. I am helping another customer out when a new one comes in, approaches the counter and, seeing that all our employees are busy, tries to talk to me, anyway.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir. I just have a quick question.”

Me: *while I am looking up prices for the previous customer already standing at my counter* “Yeah, shoot.”

Customer: “Well, I bought this charging cable for my [Console] controller a while back, but it doesn’t seem to be working. I was told last time I could bring it back for an exchange.”

Me: “Once I finish here, I will take a look.” *I finish helping my previous customer* “All right. Can I take a look?”

(The customer hands me a charging cable. It is covered in dust, and the inside of the USB is actually rusted over.)

Me: “Um, you just bought this?”

Customer: “Yes, very recently. I was told I could return it for another one if there were any problems, and it isn’t working.”

(I look over the cord incredulously, refusing to believe we could possibly sell something in such terrible condition.)

Me: “Can I see a receipt, sir?”

Customer: “Yup, I thought you might need it.”

(He pulls out a crumpled piece of paper and hands it to me. Upon inspection, I am not surprised to see that the receipt is from over six months ago.)

Me: “Sir, I am sorry. There isn’t really anything I can do here; this purchase is from nearly half a year ago.”

Customer: *looking at me as if I am some sort of madman* “But I was told I could return it.”

Me: “We only offer a thirty-day same-item exchange on all of our products. We can’t possibly begin to cover something that has been in your possession for so long.”

Customer: “Oh, I must’ve brought the wrong receipt. I have another one in my car. I’ll be right back.”

(After a quick trot outside, the customer returns to the desk with a new receipt. I almost facepalm after looking at the date.)

Me: “Sir, this one is from four months ago.”

Customer: “See? I told you I had a more recent one.”

Me: “We only cover it for thirty days.”

Customer: “Look. I can’t waste anymore time on this. I want to speak to your manager. I bought both these cords from here, and now you’re telling me I can’t return one that didn’t work.”

(My manager came over and had the exact same talk with the customer. After about twenty minutes of having the exchange policy explained to him, he threw a fit, claiming that no one ever told him about the policy before. When we pointed out that the policy was both written on his receipt and posted on signs within the store, he then threw the cord on the ground and stomped off. He started shouting to people outside that we were con artists and should be arrested for stealing his money.)

Won’t Even Wi-Fi Try

, , , | Right | April 5, 2018

(I work as a salesman in the computer section of an electronics store. We have a separate department that specializes in fixing and troubleshooting most problems. Despite this, many people think the salesmen at the store are miracle workers, and come to us for advice. I see a customer wandering into my section and I approach her.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, can you find the Wi-Fi password?”

Me: “For the store?”

Customer: “No, for my house. I can’t connect to the Internet.”

Me: “Do you have the router with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know model your router is?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know what brand your router is?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you buy it at our store? Maybe you can point it out to me.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Most routers have a sticker with the password on it. Do you have one or know where it is on your router? Seeing as I have absolutely nothing to work with, the only thing I can suggest is to go home and take a look at that.”

Customer: “So, you can’t help me? [Troubleshooting Department] couldn’t help me, either!”

Me: “We’re not wizards.”