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Playing Along

, , , | Right | December 26, 2007

Me: “Welcome to [Pizza], how can I help you?”

Customer: *sincerely* “Do you have any Chinese food?”

Me: “Errr… no.”

Customer: *still earnest* “Ohhh… really? What about Thai food?”

Me: “Oh! Yes.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “No. Not really. Just pizza.”


This story is part of the Humorless Customers roundup!

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Deep Pockets

, , | Right | December 24, 2007

Customer: “I’d like to buy the Internet, please.”

Sales: “The whole thing?”

Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism

, , | Right | December 23, 2007

Customer: *calling from cellphone* “Would you tell me how to get to your office?”

Me: “Sure, where are you now?”

Customer: “That is none of your business. Just tell me how to get there.”

Me: “But to do that, I need to know where you are starting from. Are you in our town?”

Customer: “I told you that is none of your d*** business.”

(After few more exchanges of this sort…)

Customer: “You are an idiot. Let me speak to your manager.”

Manager: *who overheard my part of the conversation* “May I help you?”

Customer: “Tell me how to get to your office.”

Manager: “Well, that depends on where you are starting from.”

Customer: “S***!! Just f***ing tell me how to get there.”

Manager: “Okay. See the next corner? Turn right there.”

Customer: *click*

God Complex

, , , | Right | December 19, 2007

(I hostess at an upscale restaurant in a very nice part of town. I get a call like this about once a night on weekends, which are super busy.)

Customer: “Can I get a reservation for four at seven tonight for Dr. [Customer]?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, we’re booked solid from six to ten. I can get you a reservation for tomorrow night if you’re interested.”

Customer: “But I’m a doctor.”

You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy

, , | Right | December 6, 2007

Customer: “I need a door.”

Me: “What kind of door?”

Customer: “You’re the professional!”

Me: “…”

Me: “Where are you going while passing through this door, and where are you leaving?”

Customer: “Garage from the kitchen.”

Me: “Great, and what size is the door that’s there now?”

Customer: “They make them in different sizes?”


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