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Choosing A Flavor Should Be A Piece Of Cake

, , , , | Right | February 5, 2011

*Me: “What can I get you?”

Customer: “What flavors do you have?”

Me: “They’re right in front of you, twenty flavors. What would you like?”

(About five minutes pass.)

Customer: “Can I have the Strawberry Cheesecake, but can you remove the cheesecake?”

Me: “Sir, I can’t remove the cheesecake. It’s mixed in.”

Customer: “Well, I like strawberry, but not cheesecake.”

Me: “May I recommend strawberry flavor?”

Customer: “Oh, no. The strawberry cheesecake sounds nicer.”


This story is part of our Ice Cream roundup!

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Needs A Mass Reboot

, , , , , , | Right | February 4, 2011

(A customer walks up to the counter with a desktop and sets it down.)

Customer: “Excuse me, are you Catholic?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Well, I think it’s possessed and it needs an exorcism. Do you have any Catholic workers?”

Me: “I don’t think so. Maybe I can take a look at it?”

Customer: “No! You have to be Catholic!” *takes his desktop and leaves*


This story is part of the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup!

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Read the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup!

Gluing Up Appearances

, , , , , | Right | February 1, 2011

(This happened while I was working at an upscale restaurant in North Carolina. It’s during one of the worst droughts in history.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, here is your table. It’s right by the window as requested.”

Customer: “Can we have another table?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’d be glad to move you to another table, but this is the only one available near a window.”

Customer: “Well, I just don’t want to look out at the dead tree.”

Me: “Dead tree?”

Customer: “Yes, you see that dead tree out there? Honestly, your groundskeeper should be doing a better job.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s because we are currently in a drought.”

Customer: “So? He should at least water it.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s against the law to water lawns and trees right now.”

Customer: “Well, he should at least go and glue some fake leaves to the tree!”


This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!

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Customer Requests Can Be Unrealistic

, , , | Right | January 20, 2011

(I work for a large retailer at a mall as a security guard which means wearing a dress shirt and tie with a jacket. As it’s the holiday shopping season, it is impossible to find parking. I have just parked my car to go into work when I am approached by an older lady in her vehicle.)

Customer: “Excuse me, young man, are you leaving?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I just got here.”

Customer: “Why are you all dressed up?”

Me: “Well, I work at the store over here.”

Customer: “So you’re not a real person? You should give me your spot.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’re not a real person. You don’t need to park here like everyone else!”


This story is part of our customer treating staff less-than-human roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

15 Times Employees Were Pushed So Far They Had To Quit!

 

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Parking Up The Wrong Tree

, , , | Right | January 17, 2011

(A customer walks in to the service desk.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Is there something that I can help you with?”

Customer: “That car in your parking lot has been sitting there for over a week and has not been moved! Shouldn’t you guys do something about that? I live across the street and I am absolutely sick of looking at it!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it is broken down and we have informed the Sheriff’s department about it. It will be towed if they cannot contact the owner.”

Customer: “Well, that is absolutely the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Cars that have nothing to do with the store should not be parked here! I am so angry! Where are my dinner guests going to park now?!”


This story is part of our Ironic Customers roundup!

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