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Extremely Last Minute Shopping

, , , | Right | April 5, 2010

Me: “Hello, ma’am! Is there something I can help you find?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for this jacket for a ski trip. Do you have this one?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They are over there on that fixture. Let me know if I can check for a size in the back.”

(The customer goes off, looks at the jackets then comes back.)

Customer: “There wasn’t the size I needed on the rack. Could you check in the back?”

Me: *checks in back* “Sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that size.”

Customer: “What?! Why don’t you have it?”

Me: “Well, I can order it for you. It will only take about a week.”

Customer: “I can’t wait a week.”

Me: “We can also expedite shipping. When do you leave?”

Customer: “I’m on my way to the airport.”


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Ink-conceivable

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2010

Customer: “Does this printer use ink?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And I have to buy the ink separate?”

Me: “Yes, once the ink runs out. It actually costs quite a bit compared to the two dollars this used printer is priced at.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t want that. Where can I get a printer that doesn’t use ink?”


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Howard Hughes Goes Shopping, Part 2

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2010

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to know if these clothes will fit.”

Me: “Sure, our fitting room is right over there.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to try them on. I want to know if they will fit.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unless you try them on, I can’t say if they will fit or not.”

Customer: “I do not try on clothes in-store because they have other people’s cells in them. I do not want to touch other people’s cells. My neighbor had diseases and I burned his house down, and the guy at the 7-11 is sick so I don’t go in there no more!”


This story is part of our Weird Customers roundup!

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Modern Parks Just Aren’t Cutting It

, , , , , | Right | April 1, 2010

(An angry-looking man storms up to me with his camera still around his neck.)

Customer: “I’d like to file a complaint!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that, sir. What’s the problem?”

Customer: “Why don’t you call some of your maintenance men to get out in the park and mow the grass?”

Me: *assuming he means a lawn area, as this is a national park* “Where did you mean, sir?”

(The customer names one of the park’s prime visitation spot, which is famous for its inner fields.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the grass is kept long to provide habitats and protection for the animals in the park.”

Customer: “Why the h*** would you do that? Don’t hide them! I paid money to come take pictures of them! The animals are here for me to take pictures of!”


This story is part of our Customers Versus Mother Nature roundup!

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Unsolved Mystery Shopper

, , , | Right | March 29, 2010

(A customer walks up with a shirt.)

Customer: “Is this what she was talking about?”

Me: “Who?”

Customer: “My daughter, is this what she was talking about?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Customer: “Why? I just want to know if this is what she was talking about.”

Me: “Were you talking with me about clothing?”

Customer: “No, I was talking to her at our house. Is this what she was talking about?”

Me: “Ma’am, I wasn’t with you last night when you were talking with your daughter.”

Customer: “Oh, I know. But, is this what she was talking about?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, it was.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll get it!”


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