A woman comes in to get a refund on three video games. She hands me the receipt and I instantly know this is not going to go well.

Me: “Ma’am, you got all three of these games for free during our buy-two-get-one-free deal. I can’t process a refund for free games.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? I spent $30 on these games, so I should get a refund of $10 since I brought back a third of my purchase.”

Me: “If you take a look at the receipt you gave me, it shows the exact price of each game you purchased. See, these three games are here, here, and here. They all have a zero next to them, meaning these were the games you did not pay for due to the deal. There is no money to refund to you since you did not give us any money for these games.”

Customer: “Are you calling me a thief?!”

Me: “Let me call my manager.”

She did not get a refund on her free games.

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 56
Refunder Blunder, Part 55
Refunder Blunder, Part 54
Refunder Blunder, Part 53
Refunder Blunder, Part 52

The call has been a fairly run-of-the-mill order so far, until the very last item.

Caller: “Shoot, I don’t have a part number for the last item.”

Me: “Do you have a description? I can try to find it that way.”

Caller: “A three-inch male pipe connector.”

With this description alone, I have hundreds of potential matches.

Me: “What material do you need? Iron? Steel? Stainless? Brass?”

Caller: “Um…”

I hear him flipping through papers.

Caller: “Regular.”

Me: “Regular?”

Caller: “Yeah, just regular pipe.”

Me: “That’s not… Do you know the schedule or wall thickness?”

Caller: “The what?”

Me: “Would you like to call us back when you’ve found the part number?”

We offer a stamp card that is stamped once per visit — not per item — and after a certain number of stamps, the customer receives one shirt dry-cleaned for free. One particular customer I deal with regularly complains about this system often. Cleaning a shirt costs about $2.35 per shirt, which is much cheaper than anywhere else in the area.

The customer comes in, as usual, hands my coworker his shirt, and gives her his name. My coworker puts the shirt in the system and he hands her his stamp card, and this is where things get interesting.

Customer: “You know, I used to bring in three shirts every few days so that I could get my free shirt. But it really bothers me that you guys don’t stamp the card once for each item!”

Coworker: “Sure, I get where you’re coming from, but that’s just the policy we have in place.” 

Customer: “It’s just that I make 400 grand a year, and I know this is a little thing, but it’s just one of those things that bother me, y’know? I’ve started just bringing in one shirt a day every day! I work as a director at my company, and this is just one of those little things that bother me.”

The customer rambles a bit about how we really should give him more stamps before my coworker decides to tell him what he wants to hear.

Coworker: “Well, I can’t do anything about it, but I can certainly speak to my managers.” 

The customer thanked her and shortly afterward departed. As soon as he was gone, my coworker and I proceeded to crack up about how upset he was about not getting his free shirt, despite this man apparently making 400k per year.

I’ve been helping a woman shop for gifts for her daughter. She finds them cheaper on our website, but I’m unable to price-match due to stupid corporate rules. The woman buys three items and orders the other three online. After I ring her up for her three, she looks at me expectantly.

Customer: “So, now that I’ve bought these online, do I just pick them up now or…?” 

Me: “Well, you ordered them online so they’ll be shipped to the store in a few days.” 

Customer: “WHAT?! BUT I NEED THEM TODAY!” 

I’m staring in disbelief, not sure what she thought was going to happen. 

Me: “I apologize for the confusion, but you did order them online to get the sale price, so you’ll have to wait for them to come in, or you can buy them full price now and we can refund the difference when your order arrives.” 

Customer: “No, no, that won’t work for me. You will return and refund all of this right this instant.” 

I manage to keep my cool, despite her comments that we’re a scam and don’t know what good customer service means. I refund the three items she bought and she leaves, knocking over a display as she goes. 

Next Customer: “Jesus Christ, what a moron!”

I have spent the last two years working in the kitchen of a local casino. I have been either cooking for the employees or doing the majority of the prep work for the casino buffet. I don’t deal with the general public.

Today, I clock in to find they want me to run the dessert counter on the buffet. Most of our cakes are premade and presliced, so aside from keeping the options for guests full, my other job is to plate the cakes. As I’m doing this, a blissfully clueless woman comes up to look at the desserts.

Guest: “Excuse me, what’s in the chocolate cake?”

I simply think she is looking for allergens and she also seems polite.

Me: “Flour, eggs, gluten, sugar, cocoa, milk…”

Guest: “No! No, no, what is in the chocolate cake?”

I reach over to grab the ingredient list and start to recite the list for her and politely as possible.

Guest: “No, no, no! How can you not know what is in your chocolate cake?!”

We stare at each other for a moment.

Guest: “So, what is in the chocolate cake?”

Me: *As emotionless as I can* “Chocolate and cake.”

Guest: “Manager, now!”

I leave the dessert table to find a manager; thankfully, one is close. I explain the situation. He is less than pleased with my last response but doesn’t say anything and goes straight to deal with the lady.

I get back to work but stay out of sight, and they have the same conversation, minus the last part. Then, she delivers this gem.

Guest: “I have Platinum on my card! I will not have anything less. Now, last chance, WHAT. IS. IN. THE. CHOCOLATE. CAKE?!”

There was a long moment of silence and curiosity got the better of me. I peeked around the corner to see my manager standing as though his brain had died. The customer finally gave up and walked away.

I never did find out what she wanted to find inside her cake. I’ve never seen Platinum as an edible.