I’m working in a shoe store and a customer comes in.

Me: “Hi there. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I ordered a pair of shoes online.”

Me: “Okay, what was the last name on the order?”

Customer: “[Customer’s Last Name].”

Me: “Okay, let me go grab it for you. In the meantime, may I see a photo ID, please?”

She gives me her ID. I find the order and open the box to show the customer the shoes.

Me: “Okay, are these the correct shoes? Do they look okay?”

Customer: “Those are the right shoes, but I want to check them as last time they tried to give me a pair of worn shoes.”

Me: “Oh, my! I’m so sorry about that! Feel free to make sure that they look okay.”

Customer: “Excuse me! These look like they have been worn, as well!”

I look over the shoes, and they both have the shapers inside perfectly and there are minuscule particles of dirt and dust on the bottom of the shoe. These most likely haven’t even been tried on and just sat in a warehouse and got dusty.

Me: “I’m sorry, could you point out where you see indications of them being worn?”

Customer: “They’ve got dust and dirt ground into the bottom here! I don’t see why you guys keep trying to sell me an $80 pair of shoes that has already been worn!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it looks like these have just maybe been tried on once but probably just collected dust in a warehouse.”

Customer: “Of course they’ve been worn! They have dirt ground into the bottom!”

Me: “Would you like me to try and remove the dirt for you? I’ve got the supplies right here.”

I show her the alcohol wipes.

Customer: “No, that’s not the problem. I just want to know why I’m being sold shoes that have been worn! Someone could have had athletes’ foot, and I don’t want to catch any fungal infections from a worn pair of shoes that’s supposed to be new!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there are no visible signs of wear like smell, indents, or extreme dirt on the bottoms, so the packers that shipped them would have no reason to mark them as worn and not send them. Unfortunately, we cannot guarantee that someone did not try on a pair of shoes; we sometimes ship shoes out from stores themselves and not the warehouses. Even if they are from a warehouse, somebody may have shipped the shoes back after trying them on and not liking them.”

Customer: “Is there any way I can get a discount since they’re worn?”

Me: “I don’t believe so but let me check with my manager.”

I call the manager over, who then tells the customer everything I have already said and refuses to give a discount. The customer still makes a fuss, but there is nothing we can do in our system for worn shoes that aren’t actually worn at all. As she finally decides to leave, I make a small remark to try and break the tension.

Me: “I totally understand where you’re coming from about the germs. Would you like me to spray some sanitizer inside the shoes for you?”

Customer: “No, that’s not necessary. I guess I’ll just have to do it at home.” *Stomps off*

Me: “I hope you have a great rest of your day!”

Seriously, who makes a big deal about perfect shoes with some dust on the bottom and then won’t even let me fix it for them?

I’m sitting in the waiting room at my dentist’s office. I’m the only one there, so it’s quiet, and the receptionist is just a few meters away, so I can hear her clearly. I also can’t really tune out other people’s conversations, so when she picks up the phone, I can’t help but overhear the following conversation, or at least her part of it.

It appears the caller wants to cancel his appointment, which is in about three hours, but he’s not really happy with the office policies.

Receptionist: “[Dentist Office], how may I help you?”

Pause.

Receptionist: “All right, sir, but because you are cancelling your appointment less than twenty-four hours in advance, we will have to bill you for the time.”

She’s not talking about applying a cancellation fee, which I’ve never heard a Dutch dentist apply, but apparently, this is a thing in some other countries; she just means the standard consultation fee which he would’ve been billed for anyway, and which his insurance will most likely cover.

Having health insurance is mandatory in the Netherlands, and people get an allowance from the government to help pay for it, so it’s not like she’s saying he’s going to lose more money than he would’ve otherwise.

There is a pause but with some irate muttering becoming audible even to me.

Receptionist: “Because we’ve scheduled an amount of time for you so the dentist can see you, and we can’t reschedule this on such short notice, so during what would be your appointment, the dentist can’t see other patients, meaning you still take up his time. That’s why we’ll still have to bill you for it. That’s just standard policy, sir.”

It sounds reasonable to me, but apparently not to the caller.

Receptionist: *More firmly now* “Yes, sir, we will bill you for it.”

Pause.

Receptionist: *Starting to sound a little exasperated* “Because ‘I don’t feel like it’ is not a good enough excuse, sir.”

Longer pause.

Receptionist: “Yes, we will bill you for it.” *Short pause, like she’s cutting him off* “Yes, we will.”

Pause.

Receptionist: *Suddenly a lot more cheerful* “All right, then, sir, so we will see you at three o’clock this afternoon? Okay, good, see you then. Have a nice day!”

She hangs up, bursts out laughing, and walks over to the open door nearby.

Receptionist: “Did you get that?”

Person In Other Room: *Also laughing* “Yes! Did he really want to cancel because he wasn’t in the mood?”

At that point, I was called up for my own appointment, so I left the receptionist laughing with her colleague. I was chuckling all afternoon, but I was also impressed with how deftly she handled that.

Related:
About To Be Dis-Appointed, Part 6
About To Be Dis-Appointed, Part 5
About To Be Dis-Appointed, Part 4
About To Be Dis-Appointed, Part 3
About To Be Dis-Appointed, Part 2

Client: “We would like to use the motif which we’ve sent you, but it doesn’t look winterly enough. Can you turn the beach into a winter-wonderland and the woman in the shirt wearing something warmer, but more revealing?”

Customer: “I’d like some ham, and I want it exactly this thick.”

He holds his thumb and index finger half an inch apart. I slice him a piece of ham that’s half an inch thick and hold it up to show him.

Me: “Is that okay?”

Customer: “What the h***?! Why is it so thick?! I wanted it paper-thin!”

Me: “You held your fingers half an inch apart and said that was the thickness you wanted, sir.”

Customer: “You knew what I meant!”

Me: “You wanted me to assume that when you said, ‘exactly this thick,’ you meant something else?”

Customer: “You knew what I meant!“

He stormed away without taking his order and left me standing there holding a super thick chunk of ham.

I’m standing in front of my register in a home improvement store when a customer with a baby carrier walks up to me.

Customer: “I forgot something in the car. Can you watch my baby while I go and get it?”

I look at her like she has lost her mind.

Customer: “Well, you see, it’s because it’s windy outside.”

Yes, because leaving your kid with a complete stranger is much safer than a little wind. I am briefly contemplating telling the woman that I eat babies for breakfast because the look on her face indicates that if I tell her “no” out loud, we will have a six-hour-long argument about why refusing is unacceptable.

Thankfully, my boss steps in.

Boss: “Sorry, ma’am, we cannot be made to be responsible for children.”

She tries to argue, exactly as I predicted, and he shuts her down so completely that it cuts her off, mid-argument.

About twenty minutes later, she walks through my line, and the first words out of her mouth are:

Customer: “What kind of discount are you going to give me for refusing to watch my child?”

I bite my tongue.

Me: “There’s only one discount available: our credit card deal.”

When she learns that she can’t negotiate the interest percentage the credit card will charge her — “Guarantee me only 2% interest or no deal!” — she decides she doesn’t want it.

Customer: “No, I should get a discount as compensation for the inconvenience of not receiving help with my child.”

I refused to budge, and she finally moved on from that topic and put some paint up to be rung.