Tastes Like Chicken

, , | Right | January 21, 2008

Me: *answering the phone* “Hello, [Buffet]…”

Customer: “Um, yes, I need to order something. Um, I just don’t know what it is. Can you tell me?”

Me: “Maybe can you describe it?”

Customer: “Uhhh, yeah, it had some sort of meat and a sauce and vegetables…”

(We have over a hundred items on our menu, almost ALL of them have a meat/vegetable/sauce combination.)

Me: “Well, do you know if it was chicken or beef?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, was it spicy or sweet?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What sort of vegetables we in it?”

Customer: “Just regular ones.”

Me: “Ma’am, we have over a hundred items on our menu, most of them being a combination of meat, vegetable, and a sauce. If you can remember something specific about it I might be able to guess what you had since I’m familiar with the items on the menu. Is there ANYTHING you remember about it?”

Customer: “Yeah I told you, it was really good and had meat in it!”

Me: *gives up* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not sure what you had.”


This story is part of our Customers With Super-Vague Requests roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

15 Hilarious Stories About Customers Demanding The Impossible

 

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Yes, Your Highness

, , | Right | January 20, 2008

Me: “Excuse me, can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: *in a very mean tone* “Yeah, I need a Dove bar.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. The soaps are right over there; see the sign?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “?”

Customer: “I’M WAITING…”

Me: *sigh*

(I go and get the soap and hand it to her. Then, she shows me a list of eight other things.)


This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

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Being Picky Is An Exact Science

, , , | Right | January 20, 2008

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a medium coffee with twenty seven and a half sugars.”

Me: “I’m sorry, was that… twenty seven and a half?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “You’re sure you don’t just want the twenty-eight?”

Customer: “Ewww, gross! That’d be too sweet.”

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She Probably Needs Someone To Put Her Clothes On, Too

, | Right | January 19, 2008

Customer: “Is this the children’s department?”

Associate: “Yes this is.”

Customer: “And where’s the little girl’s?”

Associate: “Right over around the corner.”

Customer: “Well? Aren’t you going to do your job?”

Associate: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “You know, you pick out my outfits for me.”

Associate: “Like a personal shopper?”

Customer: “What is this, some sort of self-service store?”

Associate: “Typically, customers shop for themselves.”

Customer: “Well, fine! I’m going to shop somewhere else!”

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Focal Discrimination

, , , | Right | January 17, 2008

(I’m working at the cigarette counter. I wear glasses.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

(Customer is clearly not from this country and speaks in broken English with a thick accent.)

Customer: “Glasses!” *points at my face* “Glasses!”

Me: “You like my glasses?”

Customer: “No glasses. No glasses!”

Me: “You don’t like my glasses.”

Customer: “Not you. No glasses.”

Me: “Not me? No glasses? You want someone without glasses?”

Customer: “Yes. No glasses!”

(I look over at another cashier and a nearby register who heard everything and have her switch with me. Meanwhile, everyone around us is cracking up laughing.)

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