(A customer comes up behind my counter just as I am about to serve another customer.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but why isn’t this WA Salvage?”

Me: “Because all the WA Salvages closed down and we bought the building.”

Customer: “So where’s the nearest one?”

Me: “Uh, they’ve all been bought out.”

Customer I Was Serving: “Mate, there aren’t anymore. They all closed down!”

Customer: “So wheres the nearest one?”

(I gave him a bad look, turned around, and continued serving the original customer)

Customer: “I’m looking for the Boston Zagat Restaurant guide; do you have a local interest section that would have it?”

(We’re in Philadelphia.)

Me: “No. Boston isn’t local. The restaurant guide would be with the rest of the Boston travel books.”

Customer: “Well, there aren’t any on the shelf.”

Me: “We must be out of stock. I could order it for you.”

Customer: “No. Are there any local stores around here that would have it?”

Me: “Boston is not local. Maybe you should wait until you go to Boston and buy it there.”

Customer: “Good idea.”

This story is part of our 2nd Terrible At Geography roundup!

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Me: “Welcome to [Bank]. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Do you guys sell gold here?”

Me: “Well, our financial advisor can take care of all your commodity trades. Let me introduce…”

Customer: “No, I mean do you SELL gold here?”

Me: “Um… what do you mean, exactly?”

Customer: “Can I buy gold?”

Me: “As in… a brick of gold?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to buy a couple of bricks.”

Me: “Um… no. I believe they stopped doing that in the 1920s.”

Customer: “Well, you SHOULD!”

Me: “Okay…”

This story is part of our Bank Customer roundup!

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Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Elderly Customer: “SIX OF THE ENEMY, PLEASE!”

Me: “…Sorry?”

Elderly Customer: “Six of the German frankfurts!”

Me: “Oh, right…”

This story is part of our Shocking Old People roundup!

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Me: “So, let me get this straight. You want your insurance website to look like the Walt Disney World site?”

Client: “Yes, because [the Walt Disney World site] seems so happy and fun. When people visit our site, they should feel like buying insurance is fun!”

Me: “Um, okay… so is there anything else you’d like?”

(The client thinks for a few moments.)

Client: “Rollercoasters! I like rollercoasters!”

Me: *face palm*

This story is part of the Artists-Versus-Clients roundup!

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This story is part of the Classic NAR roundup!

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