No Escape From This Stupidity

| Working | April 1, 2016

(I am a gunner on an Imperial Star Destroyer. We have just captured a rebel ship in orbit around Tatooine and we’re on high alert. Suddenly, the rebel ship launches an escape pod. I go over the the captain and another gunner on duty to see what happened:)

Gunner #1: There goes another one.

Captain: “Hold your fire. There are no life forms. It must have been short-circuited.”

Me: “Uhm…”

Captain: *turns to me* “You have something to say, gunner?”

Me: “Don’t you think you shouldn’t be taking any chances?”

Captain: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, we’ve just captured a rebel ship, a ship we haven’t finished searching yet. Don’t you think we should be taking any escape pods jettisoning as more than just circumstantial?”

Captain: “But there were no life forms.”

Me: “They could be blocking the scans. I know of a way to do that.”

Captain: “Well, it was probably nothing.”

Me: “Or it could be everything. For all you know by not shooting down that escape pod, you might have set into motion a string of events that will eventually lead to the rise of the Jedi, the destruction of the Empire, and the death of our Emperor.”

Captain: “Meh, my shift is almost over. Let the next shift worry about it…”

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