Unfiltered Story #193751

, , | Unfiltered | May 3, 2020

*Guy walks in and sets down a 5 stick pack of gum and pulls out coupon for 5 Gum*
Me: oh this is for 5 gum here *picks up a pack of 5 gum*
Customer: no I want this one it’s the same thing.
Me:….no sir
Customer: 5 sticks of gum, 5 gum it’s the same thing
Me: no this coupon is for a pack of 5 gum not 5 sticks of gum
Customer: I’m gunna have to see a manager

Your Problems Just Tripled

, , , , , | Right | May 1, 2020

I work in a self-serve ice cream store. We have fifteen flavors that are swapped out every two weeks. They all have somewhat different names; i.e. we don’t have “vanilla,” but we have “Tahitian vanilla,” which tastes identical to regular vanilla. We also do samples for customers who are indecisive. An older man walks into the store, alone.

Me: “Good morning, sir! Welcome to [Business]!”

Customer: “Mornin.’”

I see him carefully observing all of the signs, toppings, and flavors we have, which is usually a sign that they have never been here before.

Me: “Sir, have you ever been here before?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Oh, well, let me come around to the front and give you an explanation!”

I go through the entire spiel and once I’m done, I notice him take a self-serve bowl.

Me: “Can I get you any samples, sir?”

Customer: “Do you have any chocolate? My wife sent me here and she wants chocolate.”

Me: “Yep, we have ‘triple chocolate’ in the first machine. It’s really yummy.”

Customer: “No! That’s not what I asked for! She wants just chocolate!”

Me: “I assure you, sir, it tastes like standard chocolate ice cream.”

Customer: “She’s not going to like it because it’s not what she asked for! Just forget it!”

The customer slams the cup down on a nearby table and storms out.

Me: “Have a nice day, sir!”

My manager, who must’ve seen the whole thing on the security camera live-feed, pokes her head out from the back.

Manager: “What was that all about?”

Me: “He wanted chocolate and not triple chocolate.”

Manager: “But they taste the same!”

Me: “That’s what I told him.”

Manager: “Weird.”

My manager goes back into her office. I take the cup the man had touched and throw it out, and then I go back behind the counter. No sooner do I get back there than the old man comes storming back inside.

Customer: “Do you still have my cup?!”

Me: “No, sir, I threw it out due to the fact that it was unsanitary.”

Customer: “Well, that was a stupid thing to do; now I need to get a new cup! I talked to my wife. She was fine with triple chocolate.”

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Unfiltered Story #193723

, , , | Unfiltered | May 1, 2020

(I’m working in the box office of a local theater when an older man walks up to me.)

Me: Hey there. What can I do for you?

Customer: Hi. Do you have tickets for sporting events?

(We sometimes have special live events for UFC fights and whatnot, so this isn’t an odd request for us. I ask for fora date and start searching my monitor for anything of the like.)

Customer: Oh, I don’t mean at the show.

Me: Not at the show?

Customer: Yes.

Me: So you want tickets for an event at an actual sports stadium?

Customer: Yes.

Me: …We don’t have tickets for that. You’ll need to get them through the actual stadium.

Customer: Oh. Well, alright then.

Feeling A Little Sore About This Nurse

, , , , | Healthy | April 30, 2020

I’m working on a project at home and slice my thumb pretty bad. Don’t play with Exacto knives, kids! After forty-five minutes, the bleeding still hasn’t stopped, so my husband and I decide to head to the ER to see if I need stitches. 

Fortunately, the doctor is able to glue it back together and I don’t need stitches after all, but I do need a Tetanus shot. The doctor leaves the room and the nurse comes in.

Nurse: “Which arm would you like it in, sweetie?”

Me: “Is it going to cause any muscle soreness tomorrow?”

I ask her this because I’m a photographer and need to use my right arm. I know some shots have this side effect but can’t remember for sure. If it’s not going to cause soreness, then I prefer it in my right arm since I cut my left thumb and don’t want to double up on the discomfort, but if it is going to be sore, then I do want it in my left so my right arm can still be functional for work the next day.

I probably should explain all that, but it’s 1:00 am and I’m tired. 

Nurse: “Oh, no, you’ll be fine!”

Me: “Okay, right arm, then.”

She gives me the shot and is cleaning up and getting ready to leave when the doctor comes back in with my discharge instructions. 

Doctor: “Okay, so, your arm is going to be pretty sore tomorrow from the shot, but don’t worry; that’s completely normal.”

The nurse freezes in the doorway when he says this, and I look at her in shock. 

Nurse: *Muttering* “Rats, almost made it.”

Me: *Incredulous* “You dirty liar!”

I say this very jokingly because we’ve been lighthearted all along and in the grand scheme of things this doesn’t really matter much. 

Nurse: “If I had told you that you’d be sore, you would have refused the shot!”

I sigh over-dramatically, turning to the doctor.

Me: “I’m gonna need a work note.”

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Should Apply Some Patience Before Applying For A Job

, , , , , | Right | April 29, 2020

I work self-checkout and hear many times through the day how “unethical” it is and how I’m “supporting the loss of jobs.” I normally just bow my head and apologize but keep doing my job.

A gentleman approaches and tells me not-too-kindly:

Customer: “You! Ring me up!”

I point to the open self-checkouts.

Me: “Sir, the self-checkouts are open for you to use.”

Customer: “You need more g**d*** registers open!”

Me: “We have as many as we can, sir; we are understaffed today.”

Customer: “That is not good enough!”

Me: “We are hiring, sir. That’s the only way to remedy the situation.”

Customer: “Using the self-checks means I am doing your job for you!”

Me: “Well, then fill out an application and you can get paid for it.”

My managers know I’m not normally this much of a smarta**, so I doubt they believed him when he went to them. Made my day.

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