Peaches And Scream

, , , , | Right | March 26, 2019

(I work at the largest farm of an orchard chain. This season we have had to start charging a very small field pass to customers interested in picking their own fruits and veggies. Unfortunately, this change has not been the most popular and we have had to deal with several unhappy people as a result. I work in one of the inside portions, so I don’t get a huge amount of nasty people, but this older woman gave me a good laugh.)

Customer: *setting three plants down at my register, looking down and mumbling something I can’t hear*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I didn’t quite catch that. Could you please repeat?”

Customer: *sharply and still not looking at me* “What is your sale on perennials?”

(I happily explain the deal, which not only do her plants qualify for, but she has not reached the per customer limit and can get a few more at the sale price. Normally this would make the customer happy, but not her. She ignores my answer, spending almost the entire transaction refusing to look at me and giving off a generally negative vibe. I shrug it off and finish dealing with the plants.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, I have these three set. Is that all for you?”

Customer: *mumbles again*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: *finally looking up and in a tone that only peeved old ladies can conjure up* “You’re charging a field ticket, aren’t you?”

Me: “Uh, yes, ma’am. $1 per person.”

(Her expression twists like she has bitten into a rotten apple. She keeps it that way as I help her navigate our card reader. While she gathers her items I go through my normal “have a good day” song and dance, which is promptly ignored. Slightly fed up with her, I pull out my most polite, customer service voice and smile, and say:)

Me: “I hope you have a GREAT time picking your peaches!”

(Her face made my night!)

You Make Me Put On Wait

, , , , , | Right | March 25, 2019

(A woman is calling to check on the status of her order. She has given me her name and company.)

Me: “Do you have your order number with you today?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: *after leaving a short pause so I won’t talk over her if she starts giving the number right away* “And what is your order number?”

Caller: *no reply*

Me: “Ma’am?”

Caller: *no reply*

Me: “Are you still there, [Caller]?”

Caller: “I’m still here.”

Me: “May I have the order number, please, ma’am?”

Caller: “Oh, I thought you were waiting for something.”

How To Make Smelling Nice Gross

, , , , , , | Related | March 24, 2019

I am standing in a long line for a roller coaster on a hot day. A lady takes an object out of her purse and passes it to her teenage son, who uses it, passes it on to two teenage daughters, and then to the husband, who each use it in succession. Finally, it goes back to the wife and back into her purse.

It’s a deodorant stick.

Unfiltered Story #144676

, , , | Unfiltered | March 21, 2019

Customer: I see a bunch of defects on this shoe. *customer explains* I want a discount on them.

Me: I can’t reduce the price of any shoe, I could be fired-

Customer: Don’t care. Give me a discount.

Me: Ma’am, I can’t, because we can’t reduce the price of a shoe for any reason. It’s the company’s policy. I can give you the number to corporate, if you’d like.

Customer: No. Get me the manager. *I actually was the manager on duty*

Me: I am, and I’m telling you I can’t do anything for you, unless you have a coupon.

Customer: Oh, never mind. I’m never shopping here again.

Me: You never did…

Hot-Headed Cakes

, , , , , , | Right | March 21, 2019

(I work at a fast food place at a highway rest stop. Since our prices are higher than others of our kind, I usually tell customers certain combinations they can do to save money. This happens during one of my breakfast shifts. An elderly couple walks up to the counter.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Husband: “Can I get [Breakfast Platter] but without the pancakes?”

Wife: “And I just want an order of pancakes.”

Me: “Okay, well, if you want to make it cheaper, we can just do the [Breakfast Platter] with the pancakes. That way, you can sav—“

Husband: “I don’t want pancakes. She does.”

Me: “Yes, but the end result would be the same. I could even tell them to plate it sep—“

Husband: “I don’t want the pancakes. She does.”

Wife: “He’s telling you that you can save money by—“

Husband: “I don’t want pancakes. We’ll do it like this.”

Me: “…Okay, then.”

(I rang them up and gave them their change. They left me standing there in utter confusion. I hope the guy realized he could have saved $4 and me a lot of headache.)

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