Unfiltered Story #135169

, , | Unfiltered | January 2, 2019

(I am with my family at a Mexican restaurant. I hear this behind us.)

Customer: “Instead of rice and sauce can I just have more cheese?”

Waiter: “Sure, sir, anything else?”

Customer: “As you can see I am fat.”

Waiter: “Umm… Any more food or drink orders?”

Customer: “How often do you go to the gym? You are really fast. You should slow down.”

Waiter: “…”

We Have This New Thing Called “Paying For Goods”

, , , , | Right | January 1, 2019

(A customer is looking for a manager, so I go talk to her.)

Customer: “I just ate. I want to take something home for my daughter; she is not feeling well. He—“ *the server* “—just told me I have to pay for it.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that is correct.”

(She rolls her eyes, huffs, and leaves.)

Me: “What was that?!”

No Vocation For Location, Part 22

, , , , , , , | Working | December 30, 2018

(I call the travel agency that books our flights for work.)

Me: “Hi. I’d like to book a flight from Chicago to Brasilia on October 20th, please.”

Travel Agent: “No problem. What city?”

Me: “Brasilia.”

Travel Agent: “Yes, but what city?”

Me: *slowly and pronouncing every syllable* “Bra-si-li-a.”

Travel Agent: “But what city in Brazil?”

Me: “Brasilia… the capital… of Brazil.”

Travel Agent: “Oh…”

No Vocation For Location, Part 21
No Vocation For Location, Part 20
No Vocation For Location, Part 19

This Party Has Gone To The Dogs

, , , , , , | Romantic | December 30, 2018

(My boyfriend and I both really want a dog, but between our crazy work hours, we just wouldn’t be able to take care of one. We’re at my parents’ house for a party, and although [Boyfriend] is usually good at pacing himself, tonight, he gets very drunk, and proceeds to spend the next hour petting my parents’ dog — who is loving the attention — and telling her what a good girl she is. I’m helping my parents clean up when I hear him actually singing to the dog! The next day on the drive home, we’re talking about it.)

Boyfriend: “Oh, God, I can’t believe I got that drunk. Did I do anything too embarrassing?”

Me: *laughing* “Define, ‘too embarrassing.’”

Boyfriend: “Oh, God, what did I do?!”

Me: “Nothing bad. You just got really happy and goofy, and you were petting the dog and telling her how awesome she is. You did start singing to her towards the end of the night, though.”

Boyfriend: “Oh, no. I can’t believe I did that in front of your parents!”

Me: “Don’t worry; they don’t care. After you fell asleep, they both had stories about getting drunk and acting stupid in front of each other’s families. They’re definitely not about to hold it against you.”

Boyfriend: “You sure? I still feel bad.”

Me: “I’m very sure. Although…” *laughing* “You never sing to me! Or tell me how pretty and awesome I am! I’m a little jealous of the dog.”

Boyfriend: *guilty* “Of course I love you more than the dog. But… I live with you. I see you every day. I don’t get to see dogs every day; when I do, it’s an occasion!”

(I couldn’t argue the logic!)

A Great Teacher Loves Their Students

, , , , , | Learning | December 30, 2018

(Throughout college, I work as a receptionist at a student-oriented tutoring office. Finals week has just started, and my mind is running on high-stress autopilot mode as I handle the many last-minute calls from other students.)

Student: “So, my appointment will be with [Tutor]?”

Me: “Yes, at 2:00 this Tuesday, [date]. Just don’t forget to bring two printed copies of your paper.”

Student: “My roommate and I share a printer, so that won’t be a problem.”

Me: “All right, we’ll see you then. Call if you have any questions, and I love you.”  

(I automatically hang up the headset before even realizing what I just said.)

Me: “Oh, geez.”

(I guess the student understood because she evidently didn’t make a comment or complaint when she came in!)

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