His Attitude Is “Poor”

, , , , , | Right | April 6, 2021

I’m in line to check out when I see a man cut in the line a couple of lanes over.

Customer Behind Him: “Hey, the line’s—”

The impatient man throws his hands up and bellows in the guy’s face.

Impatient Man: “I don’t have time to wait! I’m too important to wait like a poor.”

Yes, he uses “poor” as a noun. The cashier looks like they want to say something, but the man talks over them.

Impatient Man: “Just hurry up and check me out. Can you manage that? I’ve got more important places to be.”

He’s still shouting, and several people have turned to look at that point. I see a manager striding up, and I’m hoping he will get thrown out, but no luck.

Manager: “Sir, you’re causing a scene. Please calm down.”

Impatient Man: “I’m causing a scene?! I’m not causing nothing. I just need my stuff and I’ll go. I’m too important to wait. I can buy and sell all of you!”

While they argue back and forth, the cashier apparently finishes scanning whatever he had, and he goes to pay. After a moment, the manager speaks up in a voice that’s just a bit louder and seems pitched to carry.

Manager: “I’m so sorry, sir, but that card is declined. Do have a different card?”

The man tries three different cards, or maybe the same card three times, with the manager announcing that it’s declined each time.

Manager: “Do you have cash? You don’t even have twenty dollars to cover this?”

I admit, I stuck around after finishing checking out just to see what happened. The man ultimately did not get his stuff, instead leaving with his head hanging just a bit. I’m guessing he was embarrassed to have it revealed that he was, in fact, “a poor.”

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Looking For A Specialty Item Doesn’t Make You Special

, , , , , , | Right | April 5, 2021

We are a specialty component store. People come to us because they can’t find what they need at the big box stores and websites. We’re not usually the cheapest out there, but for most of our customers, that doesn’t matter because we actually HAVE the impossible-to-find object they’re looking for.

Customer: “I’m looking for [specific hydraulic component]. You got anything like that?”

Me: *Searches* “Actually, yes, we have that exact model.”

I list off some specs to make sure it matches.

Me: “That’s $453.75.”

Customer: “Ouch, that’s pretty expensive. Do you have anything cheaper?”

Me: “I can check what we have that might function similarly that’s cheaper. What can you use that’s different?”

Customer: “The price. A lower price.”

Me: “Sorry, I meant what specs can change for you and still be usable?”

Customer: “I want the exact same thing but cheaper.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “If you’d like to buy this exact component, then it will cost $453.75. We do not sell a version that will meet all these exact specifications for a cheaper price.”

Customer: “Why not?”

This story is part of our Best Of April 2021 roundup!

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Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 43

, , , , , , | Right | March 25, 2021

I work at a cellular store. An elderly man comes in, all upset.

Customer: “You’ve purposefully cut off my service!”

Me: “Let me pull up your account and look into this for you.”

I pull up his prepay account. He holds out his phone and turns it on for me to see. I’m a bit confused but focus on one thing at a time.

Me: “Sir, it looks like your account is active. It’s not cut off and it seems you just recently started your new month of service.”

Customer: “I’m telling you, my service was purposefully cut off.”

At this moment, I notice that the phone had turned off immediately after the turn-on screen. I take it and try to turn it on and then go to plug it in — basic troubleshooting. 

Me: “Sir, your phone is dead.”

Customer: “That phone is brand new.”

I highly doubt this. The phone is beat to h*** and back, with a chip cracked out of the back piece in the corner. 

Me: “Well, I’ve plugged it in to see if it will charge.”

He asks for a chair, so I obediently grab him one so he can sit. He starts asking about a particular address of another cellular store and asking if it’s a corporate office. I explain it’s just another store, and he just kind of grumps to himself.

I leave the phone plugged in, trying different cords, but for the fifteen minutes he stays there, it only gets to 2%. My manager comes over.

Manager: “Sir, there seems to be something wrong with the phone.”

Customer: *Scoffs* “Ain’t nothing wrong with that phone; it’s brand new.”

Manager: “How long have you had it for?”

Customer: “Three months.”

Seriously? This thing looks like he played drop ball with it.

Customer: “Here, try my cord.”

He pulls out a ragged and tangled braided cord with a few places where the fabric cover has worn off. The thing gets debris and dirt on my hand when I touch it — praise hand sanitizer. I plug it in to confirm it’s charging but the percentage on the phone hasn’t moved past 2%.

Finally, the customer gets up and demands his phone back.

Me: “The phone is dead. Try charging it up for a little while.”

He obviously refuses to admit there is something wrong with his phone and fully believes we maliciously shut it off.

Customer: “You got a card?”

Politely, I hand him our store card.

Customer: “He got a card?”

The man juts a finger in the direction of my manager, who is helping another customer.

Me: “No, sir, it’s the store card.”

Customer: “Write your names on it.”

So, being the polite drone I am after years in retail, I write each of our first names on the card and hand it back. The man takes a step in front of my manager and almost squares up to him across the counter, then angrily flicks his pointer finger underneath his eye like he’s dramatically wiping away an eye booger, and then stomps out of the store.

Manager: “Have a good day, sir.”

Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 42
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 41
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 40
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 39
Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 38

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When There Isn’t A “Corporate” To Empower Them

, , , , , | Right | March 22, 2021

I’m selling at a market for handmade goods. I crochet and make beaded jewelry. One of my current “hot sellers” at this market is baby hats, and I am down to four left of the forty I brought.

A customer comes over to coo over the hats. I tell her the price and repeat twice that those are the last four hats I have with me and that I have no supplies on me to make others.

Customer: “So, do you have this in pink? There’s a little girl coming to the family soon and we’d like to get her everything pink.”

Me: “Not today, no. Those four hats are the only four I’ve got with me, but I can—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Then I suggest you go into the back and look. I’m a paying customer.”

Me: “There is no ‘back.’ These are goods I’ve made by hand, myself. I brought everything I had with me today.”

The customer stares and then picks up my card and thrusts it at me.

Customer: “I’ll call and get you fired, little girl. You wait!”

My phone is in front of me, as it’s how I take card transactions — through an app on it with a card reader. She does, in fact, dial my number.

I actually do answer in front of her.

Me: “[My Name], owner of [My Shop]; how can I help you today?”

I’ve never seen someone of adult age stomp off so quickly. The vendor beside me said that was her favorite moment of the day.

This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of March 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of March 2021 roundup!

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A Good Reason To Be Feeling Spicy

, , , , | Working | March 16, 2021

I’m out to lunch with family at a popular pizza place. I order a small veggie pizza. A couple of bites in, I realize that it’s really spicy. A relative tries a slice and confirms that it’s not just me. My stomach is very sensitive to spicy food, so this isn’t good for me. I flag down the waiter.

Me: “Hi. Does this veggie pizza have jalapeños on it?”

Waiter: “No. Why do you ask?”

Me: “It’s spicy. Really spicy.”

Waiter: “That’s odd. One second, I’ll get my manager.”

He comes back with a manager.

Manager: “I understand there’s an issue with the pizza?”

Me: “It’s very spicy. I’m pretty sensitive to spicy food, so I just wanted to make sure there aren’t jalapeños on it.”

Manager: “There’s not supposed to be. The veggies are sautéed in salt, black pepper, and olive oil. Let me check with the kitchen to see exactly what went on your pizza.”

The manager disappears for several minutes. He returns, shaking his head.

Manager: “Ma’am, I have found the problem, and I’m very sorry. It seems that our chef accidentally sautéed all the vegetables for the veggie pizza in an excessive amount of crushed red pepper flakes this morning. Your pizza is free, obviously…”

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