A Fitting And Tasty Tribute

, , , , , , , | Related | May 11, 2020

My grandma was… eccentric, to put it mildly. She was a slight kleptomaniac, she took no s*** from anyone, she raised eight kids alone after her husband died, she worked at a chocolate factory for thirty years because it meant that she and her kids had a steady supply of candy, and she absolutely loved throwing parties and having people over.

When she dies, we decide to throw her the best wake we can, and as such, almost everyone who comes brings cookies, coffee, soda, sandwiches, PLENTY of chocolate, and maybe a flask or two. The funeral home has a couple of sitting areas set up in the basement, so we stake one out and turn the wake into an all-day affair, with people coming in and out as they can. 

A couple of other wakes are going on, as well, and toward the evening, we notice a little boy from another wake, maybe seven years old, sneak over to the sitting area we’re using, steal a couple of cookies, and run back.

Me: “Did he just…?”

Aunt: “Yeah. Man, I would not have had the guts to do that at his age!”

Cousin: “To be fair, that family has been here for at least five hours; that’s pretty long for a kid that young.”

Aunt: “And we definitely have the better snacks!”

I look, and sure enough, the sitting area that the other family is using has coffee and a veggie plate — nowhere near as attractive to a little kid as our overflowing array of goodies.

Me: “You know, I think Grandma would’ve approved. Remember when she stole the serving plate from the restaurant at [Uncle]’s wedding?”

That led into another round of stories about my crazy, awesome grandma and got us laughing too hard to be too upset. When his parents came down, the little boy kept glancing over, wondering if we were going to tell on him, but it was so much like something my grandma would’ve done that we couldn’t be annoyed. It was a nice laugh when we badly needed one!

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Unfiltered Story #193911

, , , | Unfiltered | May 10, 2020

(It is 5:50 pm, and there is a crazy snowstorm blowing in. We got a call from corporate to close at 6:00 so everyone can get home safely. Both customers in this story are regulars. Customer #1 is an old man in his 90s. Customers think he is sweet, but the staff know he’s actually very rude. Customer #2 is a business woman in her early 60s who is very courteous. My manager relays this story to me right after it happens.)

Manager: *steps onto elevator with Customer #1 and Customer #2* You both know we’re closing in ten minutes because of the storm, right?

Customer #1: How DARE you close early! I am a paying customer!

Manager: I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but it’s for everyone’s safety. We open again at 9am like normal.

Customer #1: This is outrageous!

Customer #2: Didn’t you notice the massive storm? And the fact that we are literally the only customers in here? You can’t expect the staff to stay here just for you.

Customer #1: Yes, I can! I’m a paying customer!

Customer #2: And the staff are people who deserve to get home safely tonight, not robots here to serve you!

Customer #1: Well, you’re a bitch, aren’t you!

Elevator: *dings, doors open*

Manager: Customer #1, please don’t use that kind of language with my customers or my staff. You have exactly 10 minutes, and then you have to leave. Customer #2, what are you here to get tonight? I’ll buy it for you.

(Customer #1 got banned a few weeks later for spilling coffee over the railing onto a customer below!)

Extend Your Information And They Might Connect You

, , , , , | Working | May 7, 2020

The company I work for is owned by one family, and several members of the family work in various positions around the company. The call center fields a lot of calls from solicitors trying to get a hold of various family members to schmooze or sell products, etc. We’re told if callers can provide a full name and/or extension just to put them through, no matter how “spammy” it sounds. That’s a very generously low bar, I think, for solicitors, but apparently still too high for some.

Solicitor: “Hi, I was looking for Mr. [Family Name].”

Me: “Do you have a first name or an extension?”

Solicitor: “No, but I was just talking to him. Mr. [Family Name]. Can you put me through?”

Me: “I understand that you’re trying to reach Mr. [Family Name], but there are several Mr. [Family Name]’s in my directory, and I need to know which one I should transfer you to, or if you have an extension.”

Solicitor: “I don’t have that information.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t transfer you without a full name or extension.”

Solicitor: “You don’t seem to understand. We were talking about a big-time contract for [something our company doesn’t even do], and we got cut off. Put me through to Mr. [Family Name]. You know, the guy who owns your company. We were just talking. I don’t know what else I can provide you.”

Me: “As I said, you can provide me with a full name or extension. Since you were just talking to Mr. [Family Name], I’m sure at some point you’ll be able to remember his first name.” *Click*

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Hoping You Can Stretch To Being Suddenly-Employed

, , , , , | Right | May 6, 2020

My husband is trying on clothes, and I’m grabbing different sizes for him while he’s in the fitting room. I’m wearing a very bright cardigan and carrying a very bright orange purse. I’m neatly putting away the things I don’t need because I’ve worked in retail and it’s just courteous.

Customer: “Does this material have much stretch to it?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Oh. Sorry. I hate when that happens.”

Less than five minutes later, just outside the fitting room:

Same Customer: “Miss, you work here, right? Do you have this in another size?”

Me: “Nope. Still don’t work here.”

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Fine. Don’t Take My Money, Then.

, , , , , | Working | May 5, 2020

It’s lunchtime and I’m going through a popular fast food drive-thru with my two small kids. I’m from out of town and we’re trying to head home, so fast food is the best option for us. I order, and the girl confirms my order and has me pull forward. Judging by the voice, it’s the same person who took my order.

Employee: “Hi there! Your total is $11.74.”

I hand over my card. The employee stares at my card in her hand for a moment.

Employee: “Oh, did they not tell you we can’t take this right now?”

I’m confused because I know she took my order, so she was the one who didn’t tell me. I also know there was no sign by the speaker or menu saying that they aren’t accepting cards.

Me: “Um, no?”

Employee: “Do you have another way to pay?”

I’m completely thrown off, but I’m trying to be polite.

Me: “I don’t have that much cash. Er… My bank doesn’t have a branch here, so I’ll have to figure it out. I’ll have to come back.”

Employee: “Do you want us to hold your order for you? I can have them hold your food at the counter inside.”

I’d rather just reorder to ensure I get fresh food.

Me: “Uh… No, that’s okay. I’m not sure how long it will take for me to come back. Thanks.”

Employee: “Oh, okay.” 

Her tone of voice, while not rude, made it clear she was done speaking with me. I decided not to go back and just got food elsewhere since she didn’t apologize for the situation at all. Plus, I didn’t want to have to pay an ATM fee anywhere or have to get out of the car with a two- and three-year-old.

I’m pretty sure the person in line ahead of me paid with a card, but maybe it was a gift card? It felt weird to me, almost as if she were making an excuse not to accept my card. It’s a decent-sized city, so it’s not like seeing an out-of-town debit card would be a reason to deny my card.

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