That Exiled Prince In Nigeria Will Be Very Upset About This

, , , , , | Right | April 3, 2019

(My boss has left early, so it’s just me — a banker — and the tellers on duty. One of our regular customers, an attorney, walks in and asks for a banker. POA stands for Power of Attorney.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]! What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Great, [My Name]. Nice to see you, young lady. I need you to open a new POA account for me.”

Me: “Sure thing. I’ll just need the POA paperwork for our legal department to review.”

Customer: “You can’t open the account right now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I have to follow our usual procedure of sending all POAs to Legal.”

Customer: “How long will that take?!”

(I’m confused, as he’s opened several of these with me and has never been bothered about it before.)

Me: “Since it’s still early, probably by the end of the day. Maybe by tomorrow, but I don’t think it will take that long.”

Customer: *hands over the paperwork* “It had better not! The wire’s coming in tomorrow. My new client’s counting on this! I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” *walks out*

(I review the paperwork and spot all sorts of spelling and grammatical errors. I have a bad feeling about this, so I call Legal. They have me scan and email the doc over right away. When they call me back…)

Legal: “Well, congratulations. You found a fraudulent POA!”

Me: “Great.”

(The customer comes back in not ten minutes later.)

Customer: “Where is my account?”

Me: “I talked to our Legal team, and it seems that this POA is fraudulent. Where did this come from?”

Customer: *explodes* “NO, IT’S NOT! This is as real as it gets! This lady emailed me and said she wants to make me POA over five million dollars!”

Me: “Is this one of your regular clients?”

Customer: “No! She emailed me just a couple of days ago. She’s going to wire the funds as soon as I can open an account!”

Me: “I’m sorry, [Customer], but it looks like someone’s trying to scam you. If you’d like to speak to our Legal team—“

Customer: “I AM SWITCHING BANKS!” *stomps out*

(He came back the next day to complain to my boss. I’d just finished giving my boss the whole story from the day before, so when she told him the same thing I did, he stormed out again, screaming at us. A couple of hours later, his secretary came in, apologized, and said that she would review his emails from now on.)

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 31

, , , , | Right | April 1, 2019

(I am opening a pet store on a pretty slow Sunday. Our particular store opens its doors at eight am for boarding and grooming services ONLY. The registers are not functional until ten am when the store opens to the public for sale purposes. We have one register open at the boarding desk to check out customers coming to pick up their dogs early. We also check out grooming invoices, as well, but we do not have a proper till set up, so the only way to scan things is to use a hand scanner. This isn’t a problem for our boarding and grooming services since the barcodes condense down all services, meaning we only have to scan one thing to get everything set. Any items off the shelves must be scanned individually, which is why we do not cater to those buying merchandise very often unless necessary. It is about nine am and I am preparing paperwork for our new boarding guests when a very angry man approaches my desk.)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: “Oh, hello! Did you have any questions about boarding services we offer?”

Customer: “Certainly not! I have been waiting at the register for ten minutes and not one person has come over to assist me! What kind of customer service is this?!”

Me: *eyeing his overflowing cart of various dog items* “I do apologize, but our registers are not open until ten am since that is when we open. We are not open right now; it is only nine am and our cashier doesn’t come in until ten am.”

Customer: “But you look open! The door was ajar and I saw employees!”

Me: “The door was open because we just received a late fish delivery and the employees are still setting up for the day.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t care! You need to have it posted somewhere when you are open on Sundays. This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Well, we do have a sign on the door with the times posted on it right at eye level.”

Customer: “Who reads those signs? No one! Now get someone on a register!”

Me: “I am sorry, but the registers are closed. I can check out here on my register, but I warn you that I only have a hand scanner, so this will take a while with all your purchases.”

Customer: “Well, make it quick!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(I spend the next ten minutes hand-scanning his full cart. He seems to get more agitated as the time moves on. I give him his total and call for a manager to open up our flea and tick cabinet, which I do not have a key for. The manager says it will take a couple minutes because she is busy transporting live fish. This enrages him even more.)


Me: “I am sorry, but only floor managers and cashiers have keys.”


Me: “Actually, no, I am a boarding manager and have no need for a key for the flea and tick cabinet, since I do not sell it. I have all the keys to my facility, but it would be pointless to give me a key I would never use.”

(A manager finally shows up and retrieves the man’s flea and tick product for him before rushing back to her duties.)

Customer: “You know, you should really get a cashier in here in the morning so it doesn’t take so long!”

Me: “We do have a cashier coming in when we open at ten am.”

Customer: “You should have someone come in earlier, though!”

Me: “Right, I’ll mention it.”

Customer: *happily* “Good!”

Coworker: “You just can’t please some people.”

Me: “It’s 9:30 am and I need a d*** drink.”

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 30
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 29
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 28

Unfiltered Story #145534

, , | Unfiltered | March 31, 2019

(I work in the employment office of a larger company. This means that we only deal with employees who actually work for the company. Per company policy, I and my coworkers are unable to answer any customer questions. If a customer calls us, we have to transfer them to customer service, even if we know the answer to their questions. This phone conversation takes place with a new coworker who is usually very friendly on the phone)

Coworker: [Company Name], this is [Her name]. How can I help you?

Customer: Yeah, can you tell me what time you all close today?

Coworker: I’m sorry, but I don’t have that information. I can transfer you to our customer service, though.

Customer: I’ve been on hold with them for 45 minutes and no one ever got back to me! Can’t you help me?

Coworker: I’m very sorry about that. They may be receiving a high volume of calls, but I can assure you that they are answering calls in the order they are received.

Customer: Why can’t you just tell me what your hours are?

Coworker: I can’t give out that information here, but I would be happy to transfer you to someone who can help you.

Customer: Are you even at [Company Name]!?

Coworker: Yes, I am here.

Customer: Then don’t you know if you’re open right now!?

Coworker: I’m sorry, but I can’t give you that information here. Customer service can help you, though.

Customer: I don’t see why you can’t just tell me if you’re there! Why don’t you know your own hours?!

Coworker: I’m sorry, but all I can do is transfer you to- *she stops, as the customer as hung up*

Coworker: *looking at me* What was her problem? I offered to transfer her so many times. What else could I do?

Me: Welcome to [Company].

Doing Your Job Is The Key To Receiving Paychecks

, , , , , | Working | March 28, 2019

(I am a manager of a key shop and I usually have three young, part-time employees. To try to be fair, I usually give each employee the same schedule each week so that they can plan their lives knowing what days they will have off in the future, and I also give each one about the same number of hours each week. A longtime employee has moved on and I have replaced him. This is the new guy’s first job ever. It is explained to him that this is an hourly position. Things are going fine for about two months, and then the new guy decides to take off for about half his scheduled hours in the same week for personal stuff. This is not a problem because the others are fine with covering his hours. However, on payday the following week, the new guy has a serious problem…)

New Guy: “Hey, boss, why is my check half of what is usually is?”

Me: “Because you took off two days that week.”

New Guy: “But I was scheduled to work.”

Me: “Yeah, but you didn’t work.”

New Guy: “What does that have to do with it? I was scheduled.”

Me: “Yes, but you only get paid for what you actually work.”

New Guy: “So, you are telling me that if I don’t work my schedule I don’t get paid?”

Me: “Bingo.”

New Guy: “You didn’t tell me this when I was hired.”

Me: “I didn’t tell you that the sun comes up in the morning either, but it still does. ‘Actual work equals actual pay’ is something everyone is supposed to know.”

New Guy: “This can’t be right; I need the same pay every week.”

Me: “Then work your hours.”

New Guy: “But sometimes I need a day off.”

Me: “Then you get paid less.”

New Guy: “This is not fair. I’m going to talk to my dad about this.”

Me: “Enjoy. I wish I could be there.”

(The next time I saw him he had a firmer grasp upon reality.)

Unfiltered Story #145486

, , , | Unfiltered | March 28, 2019

(My coworker is ringing up a customer when another approaches their register. I have no customer at my register.)

Coworker: “He can take you over there.”

Me: “Hello. You all set, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(I start to ring up her items and one rings up for $6.)

Customer: “How much was that one?”

Me: “$6.”

Customer: “No. There’s a sign over there that says they’re on sale for $1.99.”

Me: “Okay, let me just call someone to be sure-”

Customer: “You do that!”

(I call the department and a coworker from there comes up to my register.)

Me (to coworker): “Hey. This is ringing up regular price for $6, and she says there’s a sign saying it’s for $2.”

Customer (to coworker): “*rude tone* Yeah, there’s a whole sign over there that says they’re $2. I didn’t grab them from anywhere else.”

Coworker: “Okay, let me go check.”

Customer (to me): “She better. These are definitely not regular price…”

(A few minutes pass and the coworker calls me.)

Coworker: “Yeah. They are regular price. There are some other ones on sale that were regularly less than the one she has… I also just dealt with that lady on the sales floor. If she gives you a hard time, just call a manager.”

Me: “Thank you. *hangs up* (to customer) These are actually regular price. There are some that were originally less that are ringing up for-”

Customer: “*rude tone again* Forget it. Take those off. I don’t have time to play these games. I’ll just get it from somewhere cheaper.”

Me: “Very well. *deletes item and informs her of total*”

(The customer hands me a gift card as I proceed to bag her items. I tell her what she owes after the gift card. I wait patiently as she puts the small bag in her purse.)

Me: “…Ma’am. You still owe me $1.”

Customer: “Wait, what? I thought that was what you were giving back to me!”

Me: “Nope. You owe just $1.”

Customer: “Unbelievable. I was standing here thinking you owed me money- Here.”

Me: “*takes money, hands her receipt.* You’re all set.”

(Customer walks away with us both saying nothing.)

Coworker (next to me): “I can’t believe her. I bet you’re glad she’s gone now.”

Me: “*sigh* Yes. My faith in humanity has definitely gone down a point today…”

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