Cashing In On Your Cashier Experience

, , , , | Right | October 7, 2019

(My flight is delayed and I am buying some snacks. The cashier has a problem with scanning my candy.)

Me: “I guess I picked the one thing on the shelves that doesn’t scan!”

Cashier: “That’s different. Usually, people say, ‘Oh, it must be free,’ when that happens.”

Me: “Oh, well, I used to be a cashier, and I never did like it when people said that to me.”

Cashier: *pauses and smiles widely* “Thank you for waiting for it to come up in the system. Your total is $[total].”

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Diners Of The Corn

, , , , | Right | October 5, 2019

(I work at a fast food chain when I’m in high school. I’m from a rural town in the middle of Illinois. This takes place in late summer, when the corn has grown up really tall. Despite being right off the interstate, our town doesn’t have a lot of commercial development, so our restaurant is right next to a cornfield. In this story, I have some out of town customers come in.)

Customer #1: *to her friends* “Oh. My. God. Did you guys see the corn?!” *to me* “IS THAT CORN?! That’s corn, right?”

Me: “Oh! Uh, yes?”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God! Where are we?”

Me: “Um… [Town].”

Customer: “I mean, what state?”

(We are in the middle of Illinois; they have to have been driving at least an hour, depending on which way they came from.)

Me: “Illinois?”

Customer #1: “I thought, like, only Kansas and Iowa had cornfields!”

(They finally order and take their food to go.)

Me: *to my coworkers* “Uh, guys?”

Coworker: “Yeah?”

Me: “Are they… Are they taking pictures of themselves… in the corn?”

Coworker: “Yep. Get used to it.”

Me: “I wish I got excited about cornfields like that. Instead, I have to brace myself for a deer jumping out of them!”

(And that is when I learned that you can truly be a tourist anywhere! Even a fast food parking lot!)

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Nobody Expected The Spanish Sign Language

, , , , , | Working | October 2, 2019

(I am relatively fluent in American Sign Language. I am the only one at the donut/coffee shop I work at that is, and as a result, I often get asked to assist deaf customers. I am on my break and have stepped out of the back of the store to eat my lunch and relax in the sun, when my manager comes charging through the back door and runs up to me.)

Manager: “[My Name]! We have a deaf customer; is there any way you can assist? I’ll clock you in and you can take an extra five minutes on your break either way.”

Me: “Of course!” *runs back to the front of the store*

Me: *signing to the customer* “What can I help you with?”

(The customer looks very confused and a little panicked. He says something and makes hand motions which I don’t recognize as any ASL I’ve ever learned, but it does sound familiar. I try to repeat in ASL one more time, slower, and spelling it out as opposed to actually using signs. The customer responds in a louder and more flustered voice, but very clearly in an incredibly Spanish accent:)

Customer: “Spa-nnnnnishhh?”

Me: *turns to my manager as I, my manager, and my coworker all realize what’s happening* “Yeah, he’s definitely not deaf, he’s asking for Spanish, not Sign.”

(My manager turned red and ducked into the back with an apologetic look to me. Thankfully, I speak enough broken Spanish that I could explain to the customer what had happened — when he used hand gestures and drew out the N in “Spanish,” my manager mistook it as drawing out the N in “Sign” — and the customer had a giant laugh! In Spanish, he explained that he was confused about why the manager had brought up a deaf cashier to help him! He then also asked me to grab my manager so he could assure him that he wasn’t offended at all, and that this situation made him laugh. The customer even corrected me a little bit on my bad Spanish, and left a $5 tip on a $10 order! All of us were still chuckling when he left the store with his donut and coffee.)

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Unfiltered Story #168434

, , | Unfiltered | September 29, 2019

Customer is about 16 years old storming into the store all macho with his friends

Customer:WHAT’S YOUR HOTTEST HOT SAUCE!?!?!
Me: well it’s this one right here, *shows sauce* it’s a concentrated mix of the worlds four hottest peppers, it’s about 2 million Scoville Units, but it’s also a gourmet sauce.
Customer: so is it spicy?
Me:no not at all *sarcastically smiling*
Customer:THEN WHY’D YOU SHOW IT TO ME I WANTED TO SEE THE HOTTEST SAUCE!

I AM THE SENATE!

, , , , , | Right | September 21, 2019

(I’m training a new teller. She’s doing so well that I put her in her own window to see how she does. I’m working in the next station. Everything has been going normally until I hear raised voices coming from my trainee’s station. She pops her head around the corner.)

Trainee: “HELP!”

Me: “What’s up?”

Trainee: “I’ve got a problem.”

(I step over to her station where an older man is scowling at her. I don’t recognize him.)

Me: “Hello, sir! What can I get you?”

Customer: “I want to take [large amount] out of my account!”

Me: “No problem. We just need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Don’t either of you know who I am?!”

Me: “Well, she is in training, and I’ve never helped you, so… I’m sorry, no.”

Customer: “I’m State Senator [Customer]! Now give me my money!”

(I recognize the name. I’d actually voted for him in the last election. I put on my brightest customer service smile.)

Me: “That’s great! But since you’re taking a very large amount out, I still need your ID.”

(The customer’s jaw drops.)

Customer: “MANAGER! NOW!”

Me: “No problem, sir. I’ll be right back.”

(The manager is out, so I grab the nearest banker.)

Banker: *sighs* “I heard it all. Yes, that’s definitely him. He hardly ever comes in, but expects everyone to know who he is. I’ll take care of it.”

(She comes up and explains to him that we ID everyone who’s taking a large amount out. He calms down, produces an ID, and my trainee is able to complete the transaction.)

Customer: *calmly* “Thank you, ladies. Have a great day!” *exits*

Trainee: “WOW.”

Me: “Well, I know who I’m not voting for ever again…”

(This was several years ago. Sadly, he’s still in the state senate. However, I haven’t voted for him since!)

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