Returns Abhor A Vacuum

, , , | Right | November 2, 2018

(I was a customer service manager for a company that insists on calling its customers “guests.” We had built a reputation for our flexible return policy. I’m near the cash registers and get a call on my walkie-talkie for “guest assistance” at the return desk. I approach to see a middle-aged man with a vacuum cleaner.)

Me: “What can I help with? Did you need some assistance, sir?”

Customer: “I bought this vacuum from you guys and it doesn’t work. I want to return it.”

(I notice that the vacuum is extremely dirty and heavily-used; however, due to our return policy that allows for it, I decide to move forward.)

Me: “That’s no problem, sir. Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “I do.”

(He hands me the receipt. It is two years old.)

Me: “Oh… I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do this return for you. Our company policy is a return with the receipt or card the item was purchased within 60 days, or 90 days with [Store Credit Card]. This receipt is two years old.”

Customer: “That’s what the girl behind the counter said, but I want my money back! It doesn’t work!”

Me: “Well… It looks like it worked for a while.”

Customer: “No! I took it out of the box and it didn’t work!”

Me: “You left it in the box for two years?”

Customer: “YES! Now tell this b*** to give me my money back! I bought it from you. It’s your responsibility to return my money!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t complete this return for you. You had two years to figure out it didn’t work. If you’re so desperate to get your money back, you can always try scamming the manufacturer out of their warranty. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “I’m calling your boss! You’ll take this broken piece of s*** whether you like it or not!”

Me: “You can always leave it in the garbage on your way out. Have a nice day.”

(The customer leaves, angrily banging the vacuum on things as he heads out the door.)

Coworker: “‘I took it out of the box and it was broken!’ Was that before or after he vacuumed the whole neighborhood?”

Supremely Stupid Behavior

, , , , , | Right | November 1, 2018

(I work at a popular Mexican restaurant. I’m working the drive-thru. We sell regular tacos and taco supremes. The only difference between the two is the supremes have tomato and sour cream. That’s what makes them supreme.)

Customer: “I’d like two crunchy taco supremes, no tomato or sour cream.”

Me: “All right, so just two regular crunchy tacos, then?”

Customer: “No, I want the supremes; I want the bigger ones.”

(I try to explain that the taco sizes don’t change, just the ingredients.)

Customer: *slower and louder* “I want two crunchy taco supremes, with no sour cream or tomato.”

(I just gave up and rang up two supremes without the supreme, basically. He then ordered two soft taco supremes the same way. The guy paid extra for no reason, but it gave my coworkers a good laugh.)

Unfiltered Story #124625

, , , | Unfiltered | October 31, 2018

I personally do not work at this particular hair salon, but I walked into it to get my hair cut and was greeted by an enraged middle-aged man furiously shouting at the woman who cut his hair.

Man, “I want my money back! I paid you for a service and you did a ***ty job!”

Woman, “I’m sorry sir, but it is not company policy to pay you back with cash. You’ll have to call corporate and they can help you get your money back.”

The man is enraged by this statement and begins clenching his fists and shaking all over.


At this point, the man tries reaching over the counter to grab the woman. He gets part of her shirt but she evades him and grabs the phone to call the police. As the woman walks towards the back on the phone with the police, while being barraged with cuss words from behind her, a young girl (probably 14-16 years old) spoke out.

Young Girl, “You’re so immature! Get over yourself.”

Man, “What did you say to me you little *****?”

He begins to approach the young girl. At this point I feel like I should mention that I am the only other male in the shop. When this happened I was around 19 or 20 but I played college baseball at the time so I was in good shape. So, judging by how it looked like this 40-50 year old man was about get physical with a little girl, I decided it was time for me to interject. I got up and stood toe-to-toe with the man in between him and the rest of the females.

Me, “I have to ask you, do you have kids?”

The man is trembling with rage.

Man, “Yes, I do. Why?”

Me, “Because if you were my dad, and I saw you walk in here and disrespect all these women like this, and try to get physical with them, I would be beyond disappointed.”

Man, with his fists clenched and a violent look on his face, “…”

Me, “You’ve clearly had a terrible day. I can tell because no one gets this upset about a haircut. I mean, look at you. You’re shaking with adrenalin and it looked like you were about to hit a young girl.”

Man, “I… I’m just worked up.”

Me, “How about this. Just think about your kids, man. How upset will they be to hear that their dad had to spend the night in jail because he got upset over a haircut. I know you don’t want that image of you in your wife and kid’s minds.”

His fists unclenched, but he’s still shaking. He raises his hand up to me (I was getting ready to block a punch) and puts it on my shoulder.

Man, “You’re a good kid.”

He begins to walk out the door but is greeted by two local police officers who put him in handcuffs. So, I proceeded to have the most interesting haircut of my life which consisted of a grateful teary eyed woman cutting my hair and a police officer asking me questions.

The Icee Of Water

, , , , , | Right | October 29, 2018

(I work third shift at a gas station where I live. One night I’m at work and there are only two customers in the store: a young woman and her friend. I happen to overhear this beautiful conversation.)

Friend: “So what are you getting to drink?”

Woman: “I don’t know… I’ve been trying to stay away from soda because it’s not really good for you. I was thinking an Icee because it has ice and ice is water and water is good for you, you know?”

Friend: “Riiiight…”

(I kid you not. This conversation happened, and I was a witness. It took every bit of my self control not to laugh or sigh and shake my head. They were nice, though.)

This Should Have Been A Piece Of Cake

, , , , , | Right | October 26, 2018

(I work in the bakery of a grocery store. A woman comes up to the counter at about 9:40 pm to place a cake order. This shouldn’t be a problem, even though we close at ten. I take the order with no issue, but it requires a deposit; also something that shouldn’t be a problem.)

Me: “Ma’am, this needs a deposit, so would you mind coming to the front now so you can pay it?”

(She agrees, and we go to the registers.)

Customer: “Oh, wait, I still need a few things, so I’ll be back in a moment to pay for that.”

(Because I need to make sure the cashier gives me a copy of the receipt, this leaves me sitting there. The woman doesn’t come back until after the manager has made the announcement it’s time for the store to close, and then there are three people in line in front of her.)

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t realize you would have to wait for me.”

Me: *later, to coworker* “Why the h*** did she think I personally escorted her up there?”

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