Some People Just Look For Arguments, Part 2

, , , | Right | April 21, 2021

It’s slow, so my boss and I are chatting. She tells me something funny and I laugh. A customer walks in with a pronounced scowl.

Me: “Hello, sir! What can we help you with?”

Customer: “Why are you so perky?!”

Me: “Uh… come again?”

Customer: “You were laughing when I walked in here. And you’re smiling and chipper. There is nothing to be happy about!”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Customer: “STOP BEING SO PERKY! I should file a complaint!”

Me: “My boss is right here. Would you like to speak to her?”

My boss smiles and waves.


He storms out. My boss and I exchange glances.

Boss: “I’d love to see that complaint go to corporate. ‘Your teller was too perky!’ No, sir, you’ve just got a stick where it doesn’t belong.”

Never did get that complaint.

Some People Just Look For Arguments

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Professionalism Is The Key

, , , , | Right | April 20, 2021

I work in a key cutting shop. Since keys are just about the only product we sell, we have to charge more for a key than other places that do key cutting as a side service.

This also means we do it better; unlike the other places that just carry the eighty most popular blank keys, we carry about two thousand. We also have both the experience and training to get it right the first time, unlike the other places that just don’t care. To us, this justifies the higher price.

Customer: “Can you make this key? I’ve been everywhere and no one can do it.”

Me: *Looking at the key* “Oh, sure, they are $1.99 each.”

Customer: “What?! What a rip-off. All the other places only charge about $1.50.”

Me: “Then why didn’t you get it made there?”

Customer: “Because as I told you, no one else can make it.”

Me: “Fair enough, for $1.50 we can’t make it, either.”

Customer: “Just make the d*** key.”

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Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 12

, , , , | Right | April 15, 2021

I am a female working in the call center of an industrial supply company; we sell screws, pipe fittings, etc. All call center employees are trained to answer basic questions about our products — dimensions, color, material, and even basic usage instructions, depending on the product, and of course, pricing and availability.

I don’t have exact statistics, but in my experience, the vast majority of questions can be answered by simply READING our very detailed website. A version of this call happens literally every day for me and other female employees.

Caller: “I’m going to need you to connect me to a tech guy to answer a question about this for me.”

Me: “Yes, what information do you need to know?”

Caller: “You don’t understand; this is a tech support call. I need the tech guy.”

Me: “I understand perfectly, and I am in tech support. What can I help you with?”

Caller: “I don’t want to have to repeat this information again.”

Me: “If I can’t answer your question right away, I have the means to find out for you. What. Do. You. Need. To. Know?”

At this point, the caller, with varying levels of incredulity in his voice, will finally tell me what they need to know. Eight out of ten times, it’ll be a dimension or other characteristic that is listed on our site. Of the two times where the information isn’t listed, about half of those will be listed in the information that employees have access to that we don’t publish. And yes, one out of ten will have to go to “techier” tech support employees to get answered, some of whom are, in fact, female.

Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 11
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 10
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 9
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 8
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 7

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Sickly Smiles

, , , , , , | Right | April 14, 2021

I’ve just returned to work from having the flu. I’m still feeling pretty terrible but was told that I’d be written up if I called out again. One of our regulars, an exceptionally creepy old man, walks in and comes directly to my window.

Me: “I’ll be with you in just a minute!”

Customer: “How are you today?”

Me: “I’m all right, and you?”

Customer: “You don’t look all right. C’mon, [My Name], how about a smile?”

He leans in my window, just a few inches from my face, and grins creepily.

Me: “[Customer], I have the flu. Would you smile if you had the flu?”

He immediately backed up and ran out of the building. I got lectured for that one. Worth it!

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When They Go Low…

, , , , | Right | April 7, 2021

I work in a fast food sandwich shop. A couple with their autistic son are some of our favorite regular guests. Their son is very sweet but loves to wander the dining area telling people what the names of things are.

I’m doing a quick dining room clean-up when a customer flags me over.

Customer: “Why do you let people like that in here? That is a menace!”

It fills my heart and soul with pride to say…

Me: “Ma’am, that is Mr. and Mrs. [Regulars’ Last Name] and their son, [Son]. They are regular guests of our establishment and a welcome part of our family.”

She curses at me.

Me: “Thank you.”

The beauty and ugliness of humanity never cease to amaze me. I choose to be blessed.

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