(I’m a research student, and I am also employed by the university to help prep labs for undergraduate classes and take care of the lab animals. It’s worth noting that I have a fairly dark sense of humor, and occasionally make ridiculous statements that I have no intention of following through on. It’s been a terrible day, and I’ve just gotten even more bad news.)

Me: “G**d*** it! I want to murder something!”

(My lab manager is silent for a few minutes, and I start to worry that I’ve scared her.)

Me: “I don’t actually want to kill anything; I’m just upset. Sorry I freaked you out.”

Manager: “Huh? Oh, you didn’t scare me. I was trying to think what we had that you could kill. Normally I’d have you gas the extra fruit flies from the undergrad genetics lab, but they won’t start that lab for another few weeks. We don’t put any of the lab mice or fish down unless they’re sick and at risk of infecting the rest of the population. We have a couple of plants in the greenhouse that got mites and need to be thrown out. I guess you could shred those, but it’s not exactly cathartic. Maybe you could re-pot the botany department’s soybeans? At least you’d get to stab the potting soil.”

(By that point I was laughing too hard to be upset. Nice to know my manager is so willing to roll with my occasional weirdness!)

(I am driving home one night after a draining day of work. There’s a chicken fast food place on my right that I’m kind of in the mood for, but I remember there’s a burger place on my left that’s known for their fresh burgers. Fresh sounds better than fried this night, so I decided to go there instead. I pull up to the speaker box, and after about 45 seconds a lady announces herself.)

Worker: “How can I help you?”

Me: “Hello there. Can I have a double deluxe burger basket? And can I have it with Swiss cheese instead?”

(I always ask for this; there’s a small up-charge, but I don’t mind.)

Worker: “It already has cheese.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Worker: “The double deluxe burger already has cheese.”

Me: “I know that; I just want Swiss cheese instead.”

Worker: “But it comes with American cheese on it. Is that what you want?”

Me: “No, I want the double deluxe with Swiss cheese instead of the American.”

Worker: “But it comes with American… You want me to put the Swiss cheese on top of that American cheese, too?”

(My brain is frazzled, I’m tired, I want to go home, and I am convinced I’ll get a wrong order, no matter what I do.)

Me: “Okay. I’m done here.”

(I drove to the other side of the road and got the fried chicken, instead. Apparently I got there right after a freshly-fried batch was finished, too!)

(We have a late day at work, so I decide to go in early and splurge at a well-known donut establishment for breakfast. I pull into the drive-thru and everything goes well, until I get to the window. Note: I spoke with a woman at the drive-thru; there’s a gent at the window, who is, I assume, some kind of manager.)

Employee: “Miss! I’m very sorry, but we’re out of the breaded chicken until tomorrow. We have the same thing with ham or turkey.”

Me: “Oh, lame. Okay. Turkey?”

Employee: “Right. Do you want that with ranch or rancho-mayo?”

Me: “Um.”

Employee: “Rancho is basically just spicy.”

Me: “Yeah, sure; let’s go with that.”

Employee: “Okay, great. And here. Let me buy you a donut.”

Me: “Wait; what?”

Employee: “It’s no problem, miss! I hate being out of things. What kind do you like?”

Me: “Dude! Um. I dunno; pick something?” *I’m trying not to laugh as this guy is practically doing flips for me!*

Employee: “Well, we’re kind of known for donuts. I mean, we’ve got a bunch. How about… vanilla or chocolate?”

Me: *actually laughing now* “Chocolate!”

Employee: “There we go!” *leaves for a second, comes back* “Here: chocolate sprinkles. I’ll get the coffee and the sandwich.”

Me: “That wasn’t necessary!”

Employee: “Don’t worry about it! Here’s the coffee. And… here’s the sandwich! You have a great weekend!”

Me: “You, too! Thanks so much!”

(I really wanted to tell him he was wearing an awesome hat, the bright neon colors of the company, but as they were running around I didn’t want to bother them. Thanks so much, dude! The donut made an amazing snack! It wasn’t necessary, but it made my day so much better.)

(While still living at home as a young adult, I decide to take up jogging. On my third morning, jogging along a quiet country road, I am hit from behind by a car going at least 40 miles per hour. I have injuries, but thankfully nothing debilitating or catastrophic. It is a hit-and-run; the driver drives off and out of sight just as I am pulling myself out of the ditch. As I limp home in the same direction, I manage to flag down a car going the other way. They have seen the car that hit me, and they actually know the driver, a local high school student. I get home, get cleaned up, and call the police. An officer arrives and takes the report, as well as the name of the alleged driver. Once the officer has all he needs, he heads for the door, and my grandmother, who is visiting, stops him.)

Grandma: “Officer, if you do find that young man, I ask that you really explain to him that you cannot just leave people lying on the side of the road like that! Thank goodness, my grandson will be okay, but he could have seriously been hurt.”

Officer: “Ma’am, if I find this young man, I’m going to arrest him.”

Grandma: *shocked* “Oh!”

One of my friends works for the local vet’s office. It’s a small town with no animal shelter, so if strays are found, the vet will usually take them for a few days until they can find the owner, or place them in a home. My friend knew we’d lost our dog a few months before, and called me up one day to say that they’d just been brought a litter of stray puppies that they needed to find homes for, and if my family wanted one, she’d bring one over that night.

My family talked it over, and even though we weren’t really ready to move on from our other dog’s death, we knew the vet’s office would have trouble finding homes for a full litter of puppies and didn’t have the room to take care of them, and decided it was better for us to take one. So, that night, my friend brought over a tiny golden retriever puppy.

She’d warned us that the puppies they’d found were too young to be away from the mother, which is part of why they were so worried about being able to find good homes for them, but we hadn’t realized just how young they were until she showed up. We fed and cleaned the puppy and made a bed for her where she’d be warm, but the poor thing was clearly stressed out, and started crying as soon as we walked away. We were worried that we’d have to stay up with her all night, when our rather elderly male cats, who’d been very curious about the new arrival, decided to step in.

After sniffing her and touching noses, both of our cats decided that this tiny little thing was probably some kind of strange kitten, and it was their job to take care of her. They curled up on either side of her and started grooming her, and the puppy immediately stopped crying, and snuggled in. My dad had set an alarm to remind him to get up and feed her, but shortly before the alarm went off, one of the cats came and woke him up. For the week or so after that, the cats continued to let us know when the puppy needed to be fed or taken outside, until she was old enough to eat solid food and let us know herself.

As the puppy grew up, the cats continued to take care of her. They taught her how to go up and down stairs, how to find the best spots to nap in the sun, that she should stay away from the road, to come when the humans called her, how to groom herself, and where the treats were kept. The puppy never did get the hang of climbing trees, but she’s surprisingly adept at stalking mice and chipmunks!

The cats were a bonded pair, and they died within a few months of each other when the puppy was three. A few years later, she found our kitten, and happily carried on what her foster parents had started, cuddling and comforting the new arrival and teaching her all the important things. So, our dog thinks she’s a cat. Our cat thinks she’s a dog. Our animals may be a little confused, but they all get along beautifully, and no one seems to mind when the new kitten plays fetch!

This story is part of our Homeless Animals roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Awesome Stories That Prove We Need Animal Shelters

Read the next Homeless Animals roundup story!

Read the Homeless Animals roundup!

This story is part of our Golden Retriever roundup!

Read the next Golden Retriever roundup story!

Read the Golden Retriever roundup!