Your Logic Is See-Through

, , , , | Right | April 9, 2010

Caller: “Can you have someone clean the water fountain filter? The water comes out dirty.”

Me: “Are you sure it’s dirty? Or is it just cloudy? Sometimes we just get air bubbles in the filtration and it looks cloudy.”

Caller: “No. I put it in a glass and it comes out filthy.”

Me: “If you set the glass down for a few minutes–”

Caller: “Yeah, it clears up.”

Me: “Well, then, those are tiny air bubbles. As long as it clears up, that’s just-”

Caller: “No, but it comes out of the water fountain dirty. People drink from there.”

Me: “What if you put it into a glass, and leave it for a few minutes?”

Caller: “Right! It’s clean then! The glass cleans it!”

Me: “Actually, I don’t think it’s the glass.”

1 Thumbs
2,613

Pre(Car)ious Insurance

, , , , | Right | April 2, 2010

(I rent out loaner cars at a luxury car dealership and try to loan similar cars to customers unless they are already booked.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are out of luxury cars today. I have another vehicle that we can get you going in.”

Customer: “No. I dropped off a luxury car; I should get one as a loaner.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have any available right now. This other car is actually very nice, and quite–”

Customer: “I refuse to drive that car! It’s not safe! What if someone crashes into me while I’m driving? There are too many crazies on the road, and I demand a safe car to drive!”

(A luxury loaner vehicle returns unexpectedly and I offer it to the customer.)

Me: “Would you like to purchase the additional coverage on the loaner vehicle in case of an incident?”

Customer: “Of course not! Like anything’s going to happen!”

1 Thumbs
3,062

All In A Muggle

, , , , , | Right | March 20, 2010

(The entrance to the office is a sliding glass door. A man is staring at the doorway looking forlorn as I’m working the reception desk.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: *shouting* “Yeah, I’m here to make a delivery!”

Me: “You can just drop it off with me, sir.”

Customer: *still shouting* “But how do I get in?”

Me: “The door’s open.”

Customer: “But where’s the door?”

Me: “It’s right in front of you. It’s open.”

Customer: “Okay, it’s unlocked, but how do I open it?”

Me: “Just step forward!”

(He cautiously put his hands up and slowly walked through the open doorway, and smiled like he just found the entrance to Hogwarts.)

1 Thumbs
3,190

Pray She Hasn’t Got A Cat Called Tom

, , , | Right | March 16, 2010

Customer: “I want a hamster!”

Me: “Do you have bedding, a cage, and food?”

Customer: “I need all that stuff?”

Me: “Where did you think he would live?”

Customer: *completely serious* “I thought I would just feed them cheese and have them live in the hole in my wall like in the cartoons.”

1 Thumbs
2,632

Dog Teeth Are Not Rootine

, , , , | Right | March 16, 2010

Customer: “Excuse me, can I have a toothbrush?”

Me: “Sure.” *I hand her a toothbrush*

(The customer leaves, and she comes back about five minutes later.)

Me: “Do you need toothpaste?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I was just wondering if this toothbrush is ADA approved? It doesn’t say that on the label.”

Me: “That’s because we special order our toothbrushes in bulk. The box that the shipment comes in says it’s ADA approved, though, if you want me to show you that.”

Customer: “I should. Harry is very finicky about his teeth, and I forgot his toothbrush at home.”

(I get the box and show her that the toothbrush is ADA approved.)

Customer: “Oh, good, Harry will be so happy! Here, let me show you some pictures of my baby!”

(She takes out her wallet and shows me pictures of a golden retriever.)

Me: “Um… is Harry a dog?”

Customer: “Of course! He’s my baby!”

Me: “We don’t allow pets in this hotel.”

Customer: “Oh. Can I still keep the toothbrush?”

1 Thumbs
2,275