I work in internal tech support. I get a call from a user at our company.
Me: “Help Desk, this is [My Name] speaking.”
User: “Hi, [My Name], this is [User], and I can’t get the texts on my phone when I try to log into the VPN.”
Me: “That’s easy enough to fix. I’ve just deleted your phone from [Multi-Factor Authentication Admin Site]. Let me walk you through how we’ll fix it. First, we open the app on your phone.”
User: “Okay, it’s open.”
Me: “Great! Now press the ‘add’ button at the top.”
User: “Okay.”
Me: “Perfect. Click ‘Scan QR code’, and we’ll leave it there until we’re ready on the next part.”
User: “Okay.”
Me: “Go ahead and log into the VPN. It will give you a bunch of prompts which will walk you through adding your phone again.”
User: “Do I hit ‘sign in’?”
Me: “…Yes?”
User: “Okay, now do I hit ‘continue’?”
Me: “Yep, just follow the prompts on your screen.”
User: “It’s asking me for my phone number. Should I do that?”
Me: “Yep… You’ve done this before, [User]; you had to have done it when you were hired.”
User: “I’ve never done this before.”
Me: “You’ve been an employee for ten years.”
User: “Well, I’ve never seen this.”
Me: “You should see a QR code on the screen right now. Do you?”
User: “No, but I see a barcode.”
Me: “…All righty. Scan it with your phone.”
User: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Remember how we opened the app and got the QR code scanner ready? This is the QR code.”
User: “Okay, but what do I do?”
Me: “Point the camera on your phone at the screen and it’ll activate.”
User: “So, I open the camera? Do I take a picture?”
Me: “All ya gotta do is pick your phone up and line it up with the QR code.”
User: “It kicked me out.”
Me: “That would be the VPN login timer… Just… try again, and make sure to use the MFA app on your phone that we opened earlier.”
User: “I don’t know what that means. I don’t have that.”
Me: “[User], it’s the app we opened on your phone at the start. Just open it like we just did, and get back to the QR scanner. Hit ‘add’ and then choose ‘QR code’.”
User: “I’m sorry, I’m tech illiterate, and I don’t know what you mean.”
Me: “Just do what we did three minutes ago, [User]. Click on [App] on your phone.”
Three more minutes pass as I explain what I’ve already explained.
User: “’QR scanner would like to use your phone camera.’ Should I hit ‘yes’?”
Me: “…Yes. Okay, let’s log into the VPN and try again.”
User: “Am I doing that on my phone?”
Me: “Um, no, just like normal.”
User: “I don’t see [VPN App].”
Me: “Open [Remote Access Program].”
This is a program that allows me to remotely access a user’s computer and run it myself. I connect and use the search bar for the user, I open the VPN, and I get back to the QR code.
Me: “Okay, now scan the QR code.”
User: “How do you mean?”
Me: “Pick up your phone and line it up with the QR code, with the scanner we’ve opened up in the MFA app twice now.”
User: “But what do you mean by ‘scan it’? I’m tech illiterate.”
Me: “Never mind. I… I’m going to try and use the email activation for you.”
It doesn’t work because the two-minute VPN timer isn’t long enough for the information to be used.
Me: “I’m going to send you a text since that didn’t work.”
User: “Will that show up in my emails?”
Me: “Nope, just a normal text message.”
User: “I don’t see anything in my emails. Well, there’s this link… Trying to use it… It says it’s expired.”
Me: “Check your text messages.”
User: “On my phone or my computer? I’m tech illiterate.”
Me: “Hold please.”
Cue screaming into the void, then congratulating a friend in [Online Game], and finally pouring myself a drink to try and get my rage back under control.
Me: “Thank you for holding. I’m going to send you a new text. Your phone will ding when you get it. Click on the link, on your phone, and hit ‘Open [MFA App]’.”
User: “Okay… it says ‘link expired’.”
Me: “Try the text above that.”
User: “Okay, now it wants me to name the connection.”
Me: “GOOD! Good. Just hit ‘Continue’, and then hit ‘next’, ‘skip’, and ‘no’, and then we’re good.”
He then proceeds to ask me on every step which button he should hit.
User: “I don’t see a ‘we’re good’ button, but it’s letting me log into the VPN.”
Me: “That means we’re good. Anything else I can do for you?”
User: “Nah, I just want to thank you for your patience and your time today. Make sure to tell your boss you deserve a raise.”
I look at my pay-raise-to-inflation ratio, which comes to a 12% pay cut since 2020.
Me: “Will do.” *Click*
