Needs More Pink

, , , , , | Right | June 18, 2020

We have been religiously cleaning all the touch points in the store to prevent possible viral contamination. Due to this, one PIN pad in particular is not working properly. It functions fine, but the touchscreen is only accepting input from the pen, not a finger.

I print a sign on fluorescent pink paper stating this and post it immediately above the PIN pad. Also, as the cleaning products have been affecting the electronics, we have all the PIN pads covered in plastic wrap. I STILL have this conversation daily.

A customer is poking the PIN pad ineffectually with a finger, usually having peeled back the plastic wrap.

Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am. This isn’t working.”

I silently point to the large pink sign.

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t see that.”

 

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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 18

, , , | Right | June 17, 2020

Our bookstore also sells movies and music. One night, I get a call:

Me: “[Store], [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hello, I was wondering what your policy is for movies.”

Me: “We give you thirty days with receipt, but they have to be unopened.”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “If you tear the plastic sealing the movies off, we won’t take it back.”

Caller: “But I just want to watch it and return it!”

Me: “We don’t do that. We’re a store, not a rental place. Have you tried Blockbuster?”

Yes, I’m dating this story!

Caller: “But I found you in the Yellow Pages, and it says you do!”

Me: “No, sir. [Store] is a store. I can promise you that we’ve never rented movies.”

He grumbled and hung up. We got three other calls in a similar vein that night.

The manager eventually found that our store had been listed under the heading “Renting OR Buying” for movies. I guess “OR” and “AND” mean the same thing to some people?

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 17
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 16
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 15
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 14
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 13

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Irritated By Both Left And Right Humor

, , , , , | Right | June 17, 2020

A customer is watching a video while waiting for his order. My coworker tries three times to get his attention to ask if he wants it for here or to go, but to no avail.

I walk over to him and tap him on his right shoulder, hoping that he will look up and see that my coworker has been trying to get his attention. Instead, he looks over to the left where I have abruptly stopped after I realize it would be more appropriate for me to ask myself, since I am the one who tapped him.

Me: “Would you like your sandwich for here to go, sir?”

Customer: *Clearly irritated* “To go, please.”

At the counter, as he is paying:

Customer: “I’m curious why you tapped me on my right shoulder and then walked over to my left. Were you trying to play a joke on me?”

Me: “No, sir, I was not. I was only trying to get your attention for [Coworker], and I realized after tapping your shoulder that I should have waited there and asked you myself. Sorry if I scared you.”

Customer: “I’m not scared; I’m irritated at you.”

Me: “Oh. Again, I apologize; I really was only trying to get your attention.”

He then spent the next minute ranting to my coworker that I shouldn’t have played that “joke” on him. At that point, I, too, became extremely irritated but I distracted myself with cleaning to avoid any further contact with him. My coworker simply smiled and told him to have a nice day.

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Only One Brain Cell Per Customer

, , , , | Right | June 16, 2020

On certain sale items, there is a limit on how many a customer can buy. For this particular item, it’s limited to one per customer.

Customer: “Excuse me, how much are these?”

Me: “Those are $6.99, but there is a limit of one per customer.”

Customer: “Oh.”

The customer puts two on the counter.

Me: “No, you can only get one.”

The customer just stares blankly. I repeat the above two lines about three times.

Me: *Giving up* “Okay, then, I’ll just ring these two up and your total is—”

Customer: “Oh, wait! $6.99? Can I get two more?”

Me: “No, these items are one per customer. You can only buy one. I’ll give you these two but you can’t buy any more. Because you’re only supposed to buy one. Because there’s a limit.”

The customer just stares blankly again.

Me: “You see this item? You can only buy one but I’m letting you buy two. You cannot buy more.” 

Customer: “Oh… Well, okay, then.”

She paid and walked off with a confused look on her face, still not quite understanding.

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Triple Burger, Triple Stupid

, , , , | Working | June 12, 2020

I am at the drive-thru of a local fast food place, stopping to get myself a quick meal before work.

Worker: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Place]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I would like a double combo, large size, with lettuce and onion, and no cheese.”

The worker puts my order on the screen. I notice he has put the combo up as one WITH cheese.

Me: “Excuse me, I wanted that combo without cheese.”

Worker: “Sorry about that.”

He corrects the entry and it now clearly says, “NO cheese,” in red lettering.

Worker: “Will that be all today, sir?”

Me: “That’ll be everything.”

Worker: “Your total comes to $10.05 today, sir.”

I pull over to the window and give him the money. He immediately hands me my drink.

Worker: “Your food will be out in a moment, sir.”

He goes into the kitchen, and about a minute later he comes back to the window.

Worker: “Did you order the double with cheese?”

Me: “No. My order was a double with lettuce and onion, and without cheese.”

Worker: “Okay, one moment, sir.”

He goes back and grabs a sandwich from the rack.

Worker: “Here you are, sir.”

I check the sandwich to make sure it is correct, and then call him back when I notice it is not.

Me: “Excuse me, this is not at all what I ordered.”

Worker: “Are you sure, sir?”

Me: “I ordered a double with lettuce and onion, and no cheese. This is a triple — a plain triple with nothing on it.”

Worker: “I’m sorry, I can have a new one ready for you in about five minutes.”

Me: “No, I’m really tight on time and I need to be at work in ten minutes. Please remove one of the patties from this burger and put lettuce and onion on it, and I’ll be satisfied.”

I give the burger back to the worker. On his way to the kitchen, his manager stops him to talk, and he is visibly upset. The worker returns soon after.

Worker: “I am very sorry for that, sir. Here’s your burger. Have a good day.”

As I left the drive-thru window, I could faintly hear yelling from the kitchen. I checked the burger again and noticed that it had the lettuce and onion on it now, but it was still a triple. I’m fairly positive at that point that the manager made him upgrade my meal at no charge to make up for his stupidity in handling my order. I have not been back there since.

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