(I’m on my break and go to use the men’s room. A customer walks in and approaches me as I am washing my hands.)
Customer: “Is this the men’s room?”
Me: *face-palm*
(All of a sudden I hear my male manager laughing from the adjacent stall.)
(My husband and I have bought a house. It is a show-home, and because of this, the builder has to keep it “on display” for six weeks after we close the deal. This happens on the day that we finally move in. We’ve been unpacking all day, and have decided to take a lunch break in the driveway. A car pulls up outside, a lady gets out, and she walks briskly past us up to the front door.)
Me: “Hello! Can we help you?”
Realtor: *stopping dead and staring at us* “What are you doing here?”
Me: “Having lunch.”
Realtor: “You can’t be here! Please leave.”
Husband: “Why would we do that?”
Realtor: “Well, for one thing, you’re trespassing. For another, I’m about to show this house to a client.”
Me: “I don’t think so.”
Realtor: “What do you mean?”
Me: “This is our house.”
Realtor: “EXCUSE me?”
Me: “This is OUR house. As in, we bought it, and we’re moving in today.”
Realtor: “WHAT? Nobody told me! I made arrangements several days ago for today’s showing!”
Husband: “Well, we signed the paperwork six weeks ago, so…”
Realtor: “This can’t be right. Are you sure you’re at the right place?”
Me: “Um, yes.”
Realtor: “…can I still show the house to my client?”
Husband: “What? Of course not!”
Realtor: “FINE!”
(She drove off in a very bad mood.)
This story is part of the Homeownership roundup!
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I was listening to music while eating candy corn. It was a slow day, and my boss was incessantly interrupting me to talk about video games. Thinking his interruptions were about work, I kept having to take an ear-bud out and then put it back in.
Finally, after being interrupted too many times, I ended up putting a candy corn in my ear and trying to eat one of my headphone ear-buds.
I thought to myself, “Why does this candy corn taste like earwax and failure?”
(A telemarketer is trying to sell me a new phone contract, which I do not want, over the phone. After a while:)
Telemarketer: “Plus, you get LTE coverage!”
Me: “Well, that’s no use, as my phone does not support LTE.”
Telemarketer: “Erm, as far as I can see, your zip code is LTE-capable.”
(Great to know that my zip code supports LTE. If only he could have told me how to use my zip code for surfing.)
(I work at a deli which makes all its sandwiches in the morning, and sells them until they run out. We do not make sandwiches on demand.)
Customer: “Hey, could you make me a ham and cheese bagel?”
Me: “Sorry, sir, we only have what’s in the cabinet right now.” *points to the three salmon bagels we have left*
Customer: “Oh, okay.”
Customer: “…so, could you make me a ham and cheese panini?”
