(My wife has a service dog, a German Shepherd, for an invisible disability. Some people seem to have trouble with the concept of a service dog, even when he’s wearing his vest. On this day, we are walking through a pet store with him in full gear, in a bright red vest with “Do Not Pet” on it in several places.)

Woman: *comes around the corner with a little girl of about six, and gasps loudly when she sees the dog* “Oh, honey, look at that doggy! Isn’t he cute in his nice vest? Isn’t he a cute doggy?”

Me: *stepping around so I’m slightly between the dog and the woman* “Aw, thank you. Yeah, he’s a good boy, helping his mommy.” *This usually deters them from asking to pet him without making them uncomfortable, but this lady is having none of that.*

Woman: *completely ignoring me and talking to the little girl* “Isn’t he a cute doggy? You wanna pet the doggy? He’s a pretty doggy, isn’t he? You wanna pet him?”

Me: *stepping more firmly between the woman and the dog* “He’s actually working, so he has to stay focused. He can have pets when he’s out of his vest, but he’s got a very important job right now.”

(I’m speaking mostly to the little girl, who doesn’t seem very interested in petting the dog in the first place.)

Woman: *still COMPLETELY ignoring me* “He’s a nice doggy, huh? You wanna pet him? Let’s go pet him.”

(At this point, the woman grabs the little girl and tries to walk around me, shoving the girl’s hand towards the dog, even though she doesn’t look like she wants to pet the dog. At this point, I’m floored, as I’ve never had someone try to pet him even after I told them they couldn’t. I throw my arm out, physically blocking her from getting past me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t pet him. He’s working. He’s a service dog for my wife, and he needs to focus on her. You can pet him when his vest is off, but not right now.

Woman: *looking like she’s only just noticed me, and scowling* “Can you take the vest off, then?”

Me: *astonished, and more than a little angry* “No.”

Woman: *glares at me and snatches the girl’s hand away* “Well, you didn’t have to be rude about it.” *leaves*

Me: *speechless*

(Respect the vest, people! I get that she wanted to show the little girl all the “cute doggies,” but touching a dog when their owner says you can’t is never okay, service dog or not.)

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(I work at a chain retail/pharmacy store. Every few months, there is a donation option on our pin pads. It is the first question the customer is asked on the pin pad. This transaction is going on as normal. I tell the customer his total and he turns to the pin pad to pay with his card. On our screen, we can see if they click the donation option. He clicks on the $10 option.)

Me: “Did you mean to donate $10?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, thank you. I only asked because customers often mistake that for cash back.”

(He then also gets $10 in cash back. The screen always asks if the total is correct. He clicks ‘yes.’ I give him his receipt and cash and he leaves. He comes back a few minutes later.)

Customer: “Add this up! This ain’t right!”

Me: “What exactly is the problem, sir?”

Customer: “This thing charged me $10 twice!”

Me: “You did want to donate $10, correct?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t want to donate anything!”

(My employer has decided to improve [read: ridiculously complicate] our IT systems by adding several additional features, all of which require a new password. Along with our standard login password, we now have three more to remember. Due to the nature of my work, however, I only care to remember my main login, due it renewing every 90 days. I’m having latency issues with my PC to the point that I have to stop typing every couple of seconds to allow the computer to catch up. I don’t have the privileges to try and fix it myself, so have to go through IT. The email they previously used to help has been replaced with one of said systems, and having forgotten the password, I call the help desk to get it reset.)

IT: “Ticket number?”

Me: “Hi, I don’t have one. I just need my help desk password reset so I—”

IT: “Without a ticket, I’m not permitted to help you. Please log into the help desk and launch a ticket.”

Me: “I will, but I need to reset the password bec—” *click*

(I phone back and get the same woman. I try, desperately, to explain the situation.)

IT: “I hate you non-IT types. Looks like I’ll have to talk you through it STEP BY STEP! LOOK FOR A BLUE—”

Me: I’m already on the help desk login page.”

IT: “GOOD… NOW, TYPE IN YOUR EMAIL—” *said really slowly* “IN THE BOX NEXT TO ‘EMAIL ADDRESS.’”

Me: “Already there.”

(This continues, as she methodically goes through the entire process of launching a ticket, while failing to notice me saying, “I need my password reset,” after she finishes every sentence. It eventually goes quiet for about a minute.)

IT: “You managed it?”

Me: “I’m still at the login screen…”

IT: *whispers* “For f***’s sake…” *shouts* “LOOK FOR A—”

Me: “Can I ask you a question?”

IT: *caught off guard* “Ugh, okay?”

Me: “What did I call you for?”

IT: “…”

Me: “Well?”

IT: “Umm…” *paper rustling* “…a password reset?”

Me: “Exactly.”

IT: “You need to launch a— WAIT! You want to reset your password?”

Me: “YES!”

IT: “What’s your email address?”

(She got the password reset, and I launched a ticket for my actual issue. Thankfully it wasn’t assigned to her and a new PC was sent out to me. Overall, I was on that last call with her for about half an hour. If only she was paying attention.)

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(I work at a pharmacy where patients are asked to give their signature for insurance purposes, indicating that they have picked up their prescriptions, before they make their payment. Here is the basic conversation, all day, every day, at the pick-up counter.)

Cashier: “Before you swipe your card, can you please press ‘next’ on the screen and sign that you are picking up your medications?”

Customer: “Okay!” *swipes card anyway, then presses ‘next’ and signs*

Cashier: *annoyed* “Okay, you can slide your card now.”

Customer: *angry* “I already slid my card!”

Cashier: *rolls eyes* “Yes, but as I was saying, you need to press ‘next’ and sign first, and then slide your card. If you slide before signing, the terminal will not read your card.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! Well, I hope I don’t get charged twice!”

Cashier: *even more annoyed* “You won’t; trust me.”

(Customer slides card.)

Cashier: “Okay, now I need your signature for the purchase.”

Customer: “But I already signed!”

Cashier: *deep sigh*

(I’m purchasing hardware for our new front door.)

Me: *to guy working in the hardware department* “Excuse me, can you answer a probably-obvious question about doorknobs?”

Hardware Guy: “Sure.”

Me: “We’re installing a new door. I’ve got this keypad-operated deadbolt so that we don’t have to worry about locking ourselves out anymore. Since the deadbolt has a keypad and an actual key, I don’t think we need a locking door-knob, as well, right? So… here’s just a plain doorknob with no lock on it. It’s labelled ‘hall/closet,’ but can you think of any reason why I can’t use it on an exterior door?”

Hardware Guy: “Well, it’s for interior doors because it doesn’t have a lock on it.”

Me: “Yeah, I get that. But I don’t need it to have a lock on it, because I’m buying a separate keypad deadbolt. What I’m asking is if, like, the metal is for some reason not designed for exterior elements. See, this one looks exactly like the doorknobs with keys that are labeled as ‘entry’ doorknobs, same metal and everything, so I’d think they’d handle the weather just as well, yeah?”

Hardware Guy: “Those are entry doorknobs because they have a lock and key. This one doesn’t have a lock, so it’s for interior doors.”

Me: “…yes, I can read the labels. Let me start over. I need a knob for my front door, but I don’t need it to have a lock. So, I’m asking if I can just use this ‘hall/closet’ one. Can you think of any reason it won’t hold up to exterior conditions or whatever?”

Hardware Guy: “If you don’t need it to lock, why don’t you just use a dummy knob, then?”

Me: “Hm… maybe. Wait, what do you mean by a dummy knob?”

Hardware Guy: “Just a knob bolted to the door. It doesn’t turn, since it’s just there as a handle.”

Me: “Uhhh… no… the door still needs a doorknob to latch the door. We’re not just going to keep the deadbolt locked anytime the door is shut.”

Hardware Guy: *clearly tired of me* “Well, why don’t you just buy the entry knob with a lock then?”

Me: *sighing* “Well, I’d rather not since it’s just one more key to keep track of, and we might accidentally lock the doorknob from the inside and then lock ourselves out of the house. Hence, the deadbolt with a keypad; it locks when we need it to lock, but we can’t lock ourselves out.”

Hardware Guy: “I still think that what you’re looking for is a dummy knob.”

Me: *muttering* “You’re a dummy knob…”

(I wander off and find an older no-nonsense-looking woman working in the next aisle over. I ask her the same question; does she know if there is any reason why this key-less interior doorknob wouldn’t work on our exterior door?)

Hardware Lady: “If you want to re-tool the lock, you’ll have to go see [Other Employee] in the door department.”

Me: “What? No, I don’t need to re-tool anything. I’m just trying to make sure that this doorknob will be okay on an entry door.”

Hardware Lady: “Oh, we sell entry doorknobs with their own keys. Did you look in the door hardware section?”

Me: “…yes. I just said I don’t need an entry doorknob with a lock, since I’m buying this keypad deadbolt. It opens with a code, or with its own key, so the doorknob itself doesn’t need to have a lock on it.”

Hardware Lady: “Well, don’t you want the key to be the same for your other door?”

Me: “…what other door?”

Hardware Lady: “Your back door. Don’t you want the keys to be the same?”

Me: “Our back door just locks from the inside… wait, never mind. This isn’t about my back door.”

Hardware Lady: “I guess I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s obvious.”

(I bought the doorknob.)