Customer in the drive-thru: “Hi, I’d like a BK Veggie.”
Me: “Sir, you’re at Hardee’s, not Burger King. We don’t have any vegetarian entrees.”
Customer in the drive-thru: “Oh, okay. Thanks anyway.”
(Customer sat there for a few minutes before driving away.)
(We close at 7:00 pm every Sunday. A couple is still shopping in my department at 7:13 pm and we already had a call from security to tell them to get out)
Me: “Ma’am, just to let you know we’re already closed. If you need to buy something please bring it to the counter now.”
Customer: “Closed? What time do you guys close? It’s only 7:13!”
Me: “We closed at 7:00.”
Customer: “Honey, hurry up. They’re about to close. Who’s ever heard of a store that closes at 7:13 pm. That’s just so weird!”
Me: “Ma’am, we closed 13 minutes ago; we’ve been closing at 7:00 for at least the past six years I’ve been here, and there’s nothing weird about that.”
Customer: “Well, I just thought that it would make more sense if you guys closed on an hour. Or at least least have an announcement if you guys are closing at some queer hour.”
Me: “Ma’am, there were four announcements, loud and clear, before we closed.”
Customer: “But why would you close a store at 7:13? That’s just queer. Are you sure the store is even closed?”
Me: “Again, ma’am, we closed 13 minutes ago at 7:00, and yes I’m sure the store is closed. Why would I be lying?”
Customer: “I don’t know. *her boyfriend comes out of the fitting room* “Honey, c’mon, let’s buy this stuff and get out of here. Can you believe they close the store at 7:20? Isn’t that just so weird?”
Me: “SEVEN! We CLOSED at SEVEN o’clock!”
(Our mall opens at ten, so the restaurant does not serve breakfast.)
Customer: *gazes at menu board* “I’d like a [Breakfast Sandwich], please.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, we don’t serve breakfast at this location.”
(Customer, still gazing at menu, which lists no breakfast items.)
Customer: “Well, can I get an order of [Breakfast Platter]?”
Me: “Ma’am, we do not serve breakfast here since we can’t open before ten.”
(Customer ceases looking at menu board gazes at me for a moment.)
Customer: “You don’t serve breakfast?”
Me: “Uh… no.”
Lady: “Yeah, I just got back so I missed the big rain storm.”
Me: “Well, it wasn’t too bad. Where did you go? Out of town?”
Lady: “What?”
Me: “You got back from somewhere. Where did you go?”
Lady: “I haven’t been anywhere.”
Me: “So you were here for the rainstorm?”
Lady: “No, I was gone.”
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Me: “What size?”
Lady: “Electric Lime.”
Me: “What size?”
Lady: “Electric Lime.”
Me: “That’s a color, miss. What size did you want the harness in?”
Lady: “What do you mean, ‘What size’?”
Me: “How many inches is it?”
Lady: “Oh I didn’t even think about the size.”
*grimace*
