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They’re A Few Nuggets Short Of A Bucket

, , , , , , | Right | March 18, 2018

(It is peak season and during a lunch rush. During peak season, our restaurant has menus and signs all over, and we downsize our menu to help guests order more quickly. A woman and her child approach my register.)

Me: “Welcome, folks. What can I get you guys today?”

Customer: “We have been waiting over 20 minutes to order. This is awful!”

Me: “Sorry for your wait, but if can tell me what you would like, I’ll be happy to help!”

Customer: “I would like chicken nuggets.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t sell chicken nuggets here.”

Customer: “Excuse me? That’s not what the menu says.”

(The customer holds up a menu from another restaurant.)

Me: “That’s not our menu.”

Customer: “Well, do you sell chicken nuggets here?”

Me: “No, but you can go to the place next door, and they can help you.”

(Customers behind her are giving the “come on” look.)

Customer: “I’m not getting out of line; I waited forever to order and my child won’t eat anything but chicken nuggets.” *the child looks about ten* “Can’t you just throw a piece of raw chicken in the fryer?”

Me: “Excuse me? No, I can’t.”

Customer: “You are no f****** help at all; you must hate children! I’m going to report you have make sure you are fired!”

Me: “All right. Just to let you know, my name is [My Name]; have a wonderful day.”

Of Privacy And Patience

, , , , | Working | March 18, 2018

(I am the customer in this story. My husband booked a car online in his name, but we couldn’t find his credit card, so we used mine. Then, once we booked, we realised the credit card was meant to be in his name. We didn’t want any trouble when we collect the car, so we called the next day. This is an abbreviation of two days and over two hours of phone calls. Call #1:)

Me: “Hi. My husband made a booking last night for a car, but his credit card wasn’t working, so we used mine. I noticed the terms and conditions say the credit card has to be in the driver’s name. What can we do about it?”

Rep #1: “Ah, okay. Well, the driver must be the cardholder.”

Me: “I understand that. But we have made a booking, and my card has been charged. Maybe we can change the credit card number on file? Or add another one?”

Rep #1: “No. It is not possible to change the credit card on the booking once the credit card has been charged. In this case, we would need to cancel the booking, issue a refund, and redo the booking.”

Me: “Will that cost anything?”

Rep #1: “No, no, that is fine. It will not cost anything. But it’s a public holiday here in Germany, so that department is closed. You need to call back tomorrow.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll do that.”

(Call #2:)

Me: “Hi. I’m calling because my the credit card on file for my booking is not the main driver’s, and I was told to call back today to rectify this.”

Rep #2: “Yes, that is true; we need the credit card holder to be the main driver of the vehicle.”

Me: “Yes, I understand that, but I don’t want to be the driver; my husband is. That’s why I’m calling: to change the booking.”

Rep #2: “And you will not be there at the time to collect the car?”

Me: “Yes, I’ll be there, so will my husband, and so will both our credit cards.”

Rep #2: “Ah, okay, that is fine, then. Yes, you will be able to change to use his credit card when they print out the rental contract.”

Me: “Really? Even though it’s already been paid for?”

Rep #2: “Yes, that is correct.”

Me: “Great! Can you email me that, so I have proof when I go to the counter?”

Rep #2: “No, I don’t have an email here, but I will contact the German office to send you that in an email.”

Me: “Great. Thanks!”

(Six hours later, no email. I call again. Call #3:)

Me: “Hi, I just spoke to someone.” *explains the situation* “I never received the email. Can you confirm?”

Rep #3: “Well, I don’t know why she said that, but that is not the case. The main driver must be the credit card holder.”

Me: “Yes, I know that. That’s what I’m trying to fix. I was told that I could change the credit card at the counter.”

Rep #3: “No, that is not the case. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do. You will need to email customer service; they can help you.”

(I email customer service asking if they can confirm that I will be able to change the credit card upon arrival. They respond, “The driver must be the credit card holder. You can add an additional driver for €60.” Call #4:)

Me: “Hi.” *explains situation* “It is pre-booked and already paid for on my card. So, I would like to know what can we do about this.”

Rep #4: “That is fine. Yes, you can indeed change the credit card when you pick up the car.”

Me: “Really? Even though it’s already been charged? Because I’ve heard different things from different people. Can you email that to me so I have confirmation?”

Rep #4: “Let me check with my team leader.”

(I’m on hold for a while, then…)

Rep #4: “Unfortunately, actually, because the credit card has already been charged, we cannot change it. But we can change the driver to your name for €20. Otherwise, you can email customer service, and maybe they can help you.”

Me: “What?! But you just said I could! I don’t want to be the driver. Also, I shouldn’t be charged for being the driver, as that isn’t changing anything. I am the cardholder, so I am the main driver. And I was told I could cancel it for free. Okay, I will email customer service, but can you please get me the recording of my earlier call? I was told that it would be recorded, so I would like access to that, please.”

Rep #4: “Let me check.”

(After being on hold again…)

Rep #4: “I spoke to my team leader, and we cannot change the credit card number on file, as it has already been charged.”

Me: “That’s not what I asked for! I asked for the recording. It is illegal for an EU company to fail to hand over data about a customer if they request it.”

Rep #4: “No. The question is not whether this is illegal, but whether we can change the credit card for you, and we cannot do that. Please email customer service.”

Me: “This is illegal. I am requesting information, and you are refusing to hand it over. Please put me on to your supervisor.”

(More holding, then…)

Rep #5: “Hi. I understand you want to change your credit card details, but unfortunately we cannot change it, as it has been pre-booked. You agreed to the terms and conditions when you booked, so there’s nothing we can do.”

Me: “No! That is not what I asked. I am requesting information that you hold about me, and you are refusing. Agreeing to the terms and conditions did not waive my rights. If you cannot hand over the call records, I will have to take legal action.”

Rep #5: “If you want the records, you can email customer service.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll do that. But if they don’t come through, I will take legal action. All I want is to remake the booking with a different credit card, which I was told I could do!”

Rep #5: “Oh, I understand! Actually, as a gesture of goodwill, I can cancel the booking and remake it without charging you anything. And for your trouble, I can reduce the price a bit, as well.”

(I think they realised they were in trouble when I knew the EU data privacy laws!)

Popcorn Forlorn, Part 2

, , , , | Right | March 16, 2018

(Just as Girl Scouts sell cookies, Boy Scouts sell popcorn. We sell many different kinds, including caramel and chocolate. One day, we are selling chocolate popcorn to the people entering and exiting a popular supermarket. Our Scoutmaster is away checking on another popcorn stand.)

Me: “Hello, sir! Would you like to help support—”

Man: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, just give me two packages of the mint ones.”

(We don’t sell mint popcorn, so I am confused.)

Me: “But we don’t—”

Man: “Hey! I just want my cookies! Bring me my cookies and stop ignoring me! Do you want to lose my business?”

(Luckily, there is another Boy Scout at our stand.)

Fellow Boy Scout: “Look, he was trying to say—”

Man: “JUST GIVE ME MY COOKIES! IS THAT SO HARD? HUH?”

(My Scoutmaster arrives.)

Scoutmaster: “Is there a problem here?”

Man: “YES! THESE F****** GIRL SCOUTS WON’T GIVE ME ANY F****** COOKIES!”

Scoutmaster: “They aren’t Girl Scouts. They are Boy Scouts. And we’re selling popcorn, not cookies.”

Man: *turns to me* “And why exactly didn’t you tell me this? Are you trying to lose business? Maybe I would have bought the popcorn, instead, if I wanted it! Ever thought about that?”

Fellow Boy Scout: “He’s been trying to tell you that! You’re just interrupting him!”

Me: “Yeah!”

Man: “You’re making me confused! I demand two packages of each popcorn for free!”

Me: “No! You insulted us and now you want free popcorn? I don’t think so!”

Man: “FINE! I’ll leave! Idiots! You’re all idiots!”

(None of us ever saw him again.)

Related:
Popcorn Forlorn


This story is part of our Boy Scout roundup!

Read the next Boy Scout roundup story!

Read the Boy Scout roundup!

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 31

, , , , , | Right | March 16, 2018

(This story takes place after I have gotten off work at a well-known box store. I am still wearing the uniform: blue-collared shirt and khaki pants. Since the store I work in doesn’t have a device I am looking for, I go to the electronics store, which features the same colored uniform. At this moment, I’m the section for the devices, comparing prices and specs.)

Customer: “Hello.”

(As I have just gotten off work, my head instinctively goes up and I look around for a few seconds, only to chuckle as I remind myself that I’m just a customer at this store.)

Customer: “Hello!”

(Having finally decided which device I am going to buy, I turn to head out of the aisle and towards games to browse for a little bit while I’m suddenly stopped by a middle-aged man.)

Customer: “Hello! Didn’t you hear me calling for help?! And what do you think you’re doing? You’re not supposed to be shopping!”

(I take a step back in shock as I shake my head a little bit, confused.)

Me: “Huh?” *light bulb* “Oh, sorry, sir! I don’t wo—”

Customer: “Don’t give me that ‘I don’t work here’ bulls***. Why else would you be wearing that getup?!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t wo—”

Customer: “And besides, where’s your name-tag? I want to talk to your manager!”

(Realizing I’m not going to get anywhere with the man, I sigh softly before trying to find an employee, but as I’m walking away…)

Customer: *fuming* “WHAT? YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR RADIO ON YOU, EITHER?!”

(That is loud enough to cause an employee to approach with a confused expression.)

Employee: “Is something wrong here?”

Me: “Yes. This gent—”

Customer: “I WANT YOU TO CALL YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”

(With a little bit of reluctance, the employee radios for a manager, forcing me to wait and taking up all of our time. Once the manager shows up, the customer goes into a full rant about how I was rude to him, shopping on the clock, not wearing my name-tag, etc.)

Manager: *finally able to answer* “He doesn’t work here. I’ve seen him at [My Store].”

Customer: “Oh! So, you admit you know he’s moonlighting! What’s your corporate number and your names?!”

(The manager, looking a little uneasy himself now, gives the number and we, just wanting to humor the guy now, give our names as he proceeds to call corporate to have us all fired.)

Customer: “Yes, I’m at your [Location] store, and three of your employees–” *lists our names* “–are prov…”

(I start to tune him out and stare around at other things, wanting to distract myself from the ignorance of the customer until I hear…)

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU DON’T HAVE A [MY NAME] AT THIS LOCATION? HE’S RIGHT HERE AND COMPLETELY IGNORING ME!”

Me: *now getting pissed off as it’s been at least 15 minutes, if not longer* “I… DO… NOT… WORK… HERE! SEE?!”

(I hope for the best and pull out my store employee discount card. The customer sees that and hangs up, turning red.)

Customer: “WHY THE F*** DIDN’T YOU SAY YOU WORKED AT [BOX STORE]?! AND WHY WOULD YOU BE SHOPPING HERE IF YOU DID?!” *storms out*

Me: “I… tried… Never mind. Well, this’ll be the last time I come here in my [Box Store] outfit. Sorry. Though, would you mind if I headed to the checkout to pay for this?”

Manager: “Sure. Let me get you the ’employee’ discount, too.”

(I chuckled, but sure enough, he ran his card through for me and saved me quite a bit on the device. I have kept my promise and not worn my [Box Store] uniform in [Electronics Store].)

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 30
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 29
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 28

It Takes A Marathon Effort To Make Her Realize

, , , , , | Right | March 16, 2018

(I am volunteering at my local half-marathon race, as a marshal at a junction where the road is closed to let the runners through. The race has happened on the same Sunday for the past four years. Before the race, the organisers and local council send letters to local residents who will be affected by road closures on the morning of the race, signs are put up six weeks before the event advising people of road closures, and volunteers go out a few days before the race to put leaflets on cars along the route warning drivers that the road will be closed while the event takes place. Still, people have trouble grasping the concept. The following takes place approximately five minutes before the last of the runners has passed my location. A woman in a car comes up to the “Road Closed” sign.)

Me: “Good morning. I’m sorry, but the road is currently closed for the half-marathon. Can I help you with an alternative route?”

Woman: “No! I only live on the next road. You have to let me through.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the road is closed by law until the last runner has passed and we have permission from the sweep car to reopen.”

Woman: “This is nonsense! There is no one on the road! I only want to go just down there. I’m not going to run anyone over!”

Me: “I’ve been informed that the last runner is five minutes away. Once they have passed, we will reopen the road.”

Woman: “I can’t wait five minutes! I have ice cream in the car! I have desserts in the car! They are all going to be ruined!

Me: “Okay, well, I can offer you two options. Either you can park your car here and walk–” *she interrupts to tell me she can’t possibly walk “all that way”* “–or, as I said, you can wait here for five minutes until we open the road.”

Woman: “NO! You must let me through!” *picks up box of ice creams and waves it at me* “I HAVE ICE CREAM IN THE CAR! I demand you give me the telephone number of whoever organised this ridiculous event. I DEMAND COMPENSATION FOR MY ICE CREAM!”

Me: “You can find contact details for them on the website. I cannot let you through until I have permission to reopen the road. There are still runners on the course, and they all have a right to run their race safely.”

Woman: “AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO GET TO MY OWN F****** HOME! I WON’T LISTEN TO ANY MORE OF YOUR F****** NONSENSE! I’M REPORTING YOU AND I DEMAND COMPENSATION!”

(She executed a screaming three-point turn and zoomed off in the opposite direction. Lo and behold, two minutes later, the last runner came past and we were given permission to reopen the road.)