Working Pro Bonehead

, , , | Legal | June 19, 2020

Me: “Good morning, [Attorney]’s office.”

Man: “Yes, hi, I need [Attorney] to help me with my real-estate matter—”

Me: “[Attorney] does not practice real-estate law.”

Man: *Not listening* “—in New Jersey—”

Me: “[Attorney] only practices law in Maryland.”

Man: *Still not listening* “—and I have no money now, but I’m sure I’d be able to pay them once the matter is thoroughly settled.”

Me: “[Attorney] does not now and has never worked pro bono; they require a retainer and a signed Representation Agreement upfront.”

Man: “Oh… so will they meet with me or what?”

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Losing Your Sanity(izer)

, , , , , , | Right | June 19, 2020

I know that customers are notoriously bad for ignoring signs, but this whole outbreak issue has seemingly bred a whole new breed of ignorant customers.

At the shop where I work, management has installed a hand sanitiser dispenser by the door. Because people use way too much, we run out quickly, and after having a stream of customers telling us it’s out, I decide to put a sign over it saying, “OUT OF USE.”

I’ve honestly lost count of how many people still press the lever violently trying to get sanitiser out despite there being a huge sign in capital letters saying, “OUT OF USE.” I even repositioned the sign to cover the lever, and several times that day I had to straighten it out because people had been lifting it out of the way to try and use the sanitiser underneath.

Also, we stopped accepting cash, finding it so much easier for all involved to use card only. Around the shop, we had at least ten signs saying, “NO CASH ACCEPTED,” even on the card machine outside the shop. These signs were on three of the fridges, along the barrier next to the tills, on every till point, as you come through the door, and on the exterior windows.

I have had customers do their entire shop and then come to the till and attempt to hand me cash. They then throw a hissy fit when I tell them I cannot accept it, and that we no longer have any cash on the premises to even give change. It’s usually at this point that I stare in disbelief at the massive sign right beside the customer saying that no cash is accepted at all. We also have people saying, “But it’s just £1!”. The amount doesn’t change the rule. No cash!

I’ve even witnessed a grown man storm off and throw the products back onto the shelves, swearing at the top of his voice about how ridiculous we were. 

In a somewhat related comment, recently — because we’re operating self-scan only right now — a customer commented how it was like a holiday for us. Verbal abuse and growing stupidity on a daily basis and having to put ourselves at risk just so you can buy your groceries. Yep. Some holiday!

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How To Counter Their Arguments

, , , | Right | June 19, 2020

I have received an email that I can pick up my medication from my pharmacist. I go to pick them up. There is only one girl in the waiting room who doesn’t even notice me because she’s absorbed with her phone.

The waiting room is for both the pharmacist and general practitioner who works in the same building. I walk up to the counter and tell the pharmacist why I’m there. Within two minutes, the pharmacist has found my medication, bagged it, and handed to me.

At the moment I take the medication and start to leave, the girl looks up from her phone and starts to rage and yell because I have cut the line and she has been waiting there for at least forty minutes to get her prescription filled.

The pharmacist immediately intervenes:

Pharmacist: “Hey, stop it. You haven’t even given me your prescription. You came in and sat down, and you were constantly busy with your phone. If you had taken the trouble to give me your prescription here at the counter, you would have been away with your medication at least thirty-five minutes ago. I thought that you were waiting to see the doctor. So, either you keep your mouth shut or you can go to the pharmacist on the other side of the city. It’s your choice.”

Apparently, this is the first time that someone has spoken to her in this way. She starts crying and stomps out of the waiting room yelling that she will never come in here again.

The pharmacist shakes his head and says to me: 

Pharmacist: “Would you believe it? This is the seventh time this week that some spoiled brat pulled some stunt like this. I even had one girl who sat here from eleven until five texting and phoning and complaining on the phone that it took so long. But she never came to the counter to tell us what she was here for. I had to call her to the counter and ask her or she’d still be here. I’m going to order a big flashing sign: “’No service if you don’t tell us what you want.’ But I doubt if it will work.”

I doubt it, too, after reading the stories on NAR.

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Their Ability To Read Has Signed Out

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2020

I work in an assisted-living facility. Two older women, probably in their sixties or seventies, come up to the front desk. They are well-dressed and both have their phones out, just putting them away, so I’m thinking they’re cool with technology, and they’re both speaking perfectly clear English to each other with no hint of an accent, so I’m not sensing a language barrier.

I greet them and they ask if they can visit a resident.

Me: ”Of course! I’ll just need both of you to sign in here.”

I indicate a large tablet computer.

Visitor #1: “Okay.”

She stares at the computer, which has two buttons on it that take up almost the entire screen, one saying “sign in,” the other “sign out,” and the top says, “Please choose one.”

Me: “You can start by tapping ‘sign in.’”

Visitor #1: “Oh… okay.”

She taps “sign in” and continues staring at the next screen which has three buttons, each a different category of visitor.

Visitor #1: “What do I do now?”

Me: “It depends! Are you a healthcare provider? A family member or friend?”

Visitor #1: “I’m a friend.”

She just looks at me expectantly.

Me: “Okay, then you’ll tap the middle button which says. ‘Family, Friend, or Volunteer.’”

She taps the correct button.

Visitor #1: “It says I need to enter my name. Should I do that?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

She spends a good three minutes inputting her name.

Me: “Good, and now you’ll need to put in the last name of the person you’re visiting.”

She begins typing in the person’s full name.

Me: “No, I’m sorry, just the last name.”

I stare forlornly at the huge font that says, “Please type in resident’s LAST name.”

Visitor #1: “Oh… Okay… What now?”

Me: “Oh, it looks like there’s a C missing there; let me just fix that for you.”

I fix the spelling error.

Visitor #1: “Can I go now?”

She looks expectantly at me again.

Me: “Not yet. You just need to tap the name here—”

Visitor #1: “And now I’m done?”

Me: “One more step. Are you visiting anyone else?”

Visitor #1: “No, just my friend.”

Me: “Then tap ‘no’ where it says there…”

The name tag prints out and I hand it to her.

Visitor #1: “What is this?”

Me: “That’s a name tag that you’ll stick to your shirt there so we know that you’re a visitor when we see you.”

She sticks it to herself after a good minute of trying to peel the backing off.

Visitor #1: “Does she need to sign in, too?” *Indicates her friend*

Me: “Yes, ma’am, everyone who comes in needs a name tag.”

Visitor #1: “Oh, she can just wear mine.”

Me: “That’s… Then you wouldn’t have one.”

[Visitor #2], who has watched me walk her friend through the whole process step-by-step and is still staring at me expectantly now, steps forward.

Visitor #2: “What do I do?”

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You Can’t Peas Everyone

, , , , | Right | June 18, 2020

I am shopping in a supermarket when a customer stands in front of me, blocking my path until I remove my headphones.

Customer: “Frozen peas!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: *Louder* “Frozen peas!”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry. I don’t work here.”

Customer: “How dare you?! I’ll report you to your manager!”

Me: “Sorry, but I don’t work here; I’m a customer. I don’t know where the peas are.”

Customer: “I’m reporting you! How can you not know the peas?!” *Storms off*

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